Being pregnant is a beautiful thing.
Bringing new life into this world is miraculous.
But the books seem to forget to warn you about the emotional toll that is taken on everyone involved.
Case in point…
Redditor stupidtest_ wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“WIBTA if I ask my pregnant wife to move out because she and her best friend decided to ‘test’ my loyalty?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My wife is pregnant with our daughter.”
“Initially we were really happy and excited about it.”
“But then, she started acting like a nut job.”
“She gets angry and irritated for small things, insults me when she doesn’t like the food I make, starts acting insecure and accuses me of losing attraction for her.”
“For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week.”
“Well, I made chicken sandwiches.”
“So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing and told me that they tasted like sh*t.”
“I wasn’t pissed because she left me nothing.”
“But if she didn’t like them, why did she have to eat everything?”
“When I asked her this she told me that she was hungry. Ok fine.”
“She does this every time.”
“Eats everything I make and calls it sh*t.”
“I don’t argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I’m home.”
“So, yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks.”
“I rejected her and told her that I was married.”
“And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize.”
“When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty.”
“So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and asked me out.”
“And I passed. Yay!!”
“I’m really pissed. I’m done with her antics.”
“I don’t live in the USA. Please don’t discuss legalities based on the laws there.”
“WIBTA if I ask her to move out?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole, with some caveats.
“Yikes. Might I suggest some couples therapy first?”
“What she did was clearly an A move, though I don’t think you’d be in the right to have her move out while pregnant.” ~ Lizlizlizzyliz
“It also depends on where OP lives, and tenancy laws.”
“Under the circumstances that you gave, OP may be obligated to give her notice of eviction when asking her to move.”
“OP would be wise to consult with an attorney before taking any steps towards asking his wife to move out.” ~ TheMorrigan
“From OP’s post…”
“I don’t argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week.”
“I think given that line, he’s probably been letting these feelings fester and is ready to snap.”
“But it sounds like he hasn’t really given the ‘talk things over’ option a fair shake.”
“Obviously they’ve been together for a while.”
“I’d say if he jumps right to kicking her out, he’s kind of the a**hole.”
“Couple’s therapy might be the best bet, but talking this through at all is at least the minimum requirement.”
“Working over 80 hours a week is probably making things worse too.”
“He’s probably on a short fuse from the hours, she’s probably got some pregnancy brain and is missing him.”
“Sounds like they just need to reconnect.” ~ Princess_Moon_Butt
“It also sounds like she feels really insecure and unattractive and she is looking for confirmation that he still sees her that way.”
“He doesn’t show her affection because he is working long hours, is tire, and is mad because she is being petty.”
“She, in return, is petty because she feels like he is meeting her emotional needs.”
“It is hard when your spouse works a lot.”
“My husband is usually pretty flexible, but he has a lot of deadlines right now and that means working extra hours to get it done.”
“It can be lonely when you don’t have your spouse around to share a meal with or have a date night (even if it is a date night in).”
“It is easy to be upset because of the situation and end up being mad at each other.”
“It takes good communication skills, and it can be hard when they are both so frustrated.”
“I think counseling can really help them, if they both put in the work.”
“I do feel bad because I don’t see this working out for them unless they are both willing to make some changes.” ~ Viperbunny
“Definitely agree.”
“I think just reading the guy’s perspective it’s easy to write the wife off as crazy and tell OP to kick her out.”
“But as someone who’s dated a guy who works crazy long hours, even though he has good intentions, it’s easy to start to feel really lonely and neglected.”
“And those negative emotions can really make you act out in ways you wouldn’t otherwise.”
“In her case, it’s further compounded by pregnancy hormones/insecurities.”
“They should definitely start with counseling.” ~ rampagingllama
“I agree with this.”
“NTA, but kicking her out might be too far without some attempt to bridge the gap first.”
“I’m not sure how hard you have tried to fix things but you need to talk to her and work this s**t out if you can.”
“You have the option to kick her out or to leave yourself if it comes to that, but I really think that you should try to take control of the situation first.”
“You can even let her know what cards are on the table here go give some perspective as to how horrible she is treating you.”
“Just don’t let her get away with being ‘just good enough’ for you to keep her.”
“The trust has already been broken and she has already gone too far.”
“If she wants a second chance then she needs to earn it by being a loving wife that has your back just as much as you have had hers.” ~ A1t2o
“NTA ,with some caveats.”
“I think the focus should be on how much has she changed during pregnancy.”
“If a woman acts like a nasty piece of work and gets pregnant and gets even worse.”
“I can see someone running out of patience and being like ‘Yeah this is crazy, I’m out.'”
“But if a woman gets pregnant and her personality takes a complete 180 and she’s acting like an a**hole when she normally has a very normal level headed personality.”
“I think thats when it’s time to seek professional help instead of making relationship ultimatums.”
“A lot of people are focusing on the fact that its unfair to give pregnant women so much slack.”
“When a man would never be given that much slack.”
“But there is simply nothing a man goes through that is comparable to the vast and rapid physiological and hormonal changes a woman goes through during pregnancy.”
“Men and women are different and that’s okay.”
“That being said, I do think even despite those hormonal changes, what his wife did here was super not okay, and very manipulative.”
“And is definitely grounds for couples therapy.” ~ Justinat0r
“If my husband suddenly started acting insane, the first trip would be to a doctor not to a divorce attorney.”
“If this behavior really did start with pregnancy, it would make more sense to seek a medical opinion on how pregnancy is effecting her, and go to counseling.”
“I mean, I assume you were pretty committed before this point if you decided to have a baby together.”
“And if she never acted this way before in what I assume has not been a super short relationship, I would be slower to just assume this is how things will be for the rest of your life.”
“Feels a little like throwing the baby out with the bath water.” ~ ArdentCrayon
“I think the first step is to sit her down and say that this behavior is unacceptable.”
“The treating you like sh*t and the ‘loyalty test’ and that if she doesn’t want to push you away then she should be open to going to couples counseling.”
“If she hasn’t acted this way before getting pregnant, there might be some mental issues bringing that on for her (not excusing hormones, but if she’s doing a 180 from her regular self, it’s a sign that she should be looked at).”
“To me, the kicking out part to me seems harsh not because of your wife, but because you have a right to your baby and if she’s action irrational now.”
“The stress of being kicked out might impact your baby negatively.”
“Maybe say until we get help it’s better than you sleep in separate rooms to give you some space and thinking time.”
“The first step to me is always communication because it’s not gonna get any easier when the baby is born, if you both are not communicating well things will go downhill quickly.”
“Best of luck to you and your family.” ~ pataconconqueso
Well OP… you are in a difficult situation.
Reddit has a lot of varying thoughts here.
What can be agreed on is that you both need some therapy.
How you proceed after that is your family business.
Good luck to you both and congrats.