Rarely does one need to add theatrics at at wedding, particularly pranks.
But to each their own.
The problem with adding theatrics is usually people need partners in crime.
And not everyone wants to get their hands dirty.
Redditor thorwaway_47 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for not wanting to do the prank the bride is asking me to do during her wedding ceremony?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (23 M[ale]) am one of the groomsmen for my best friend’s (35 M) wedding.”
“His fiancé (33 F[emale]) is a known jokester and likes pulling pranks that don’t affect anyone beyond making us laugh.”
“Stupid, funny things like this that she’d go out of her way to do to make us laugh.”
“It’s never anything harmful, and the farthest she’s ever gone was ‘accidentally’ destroy the groom’s shi**y Toshiba laptop, and surprise him with a brand new modern Alienware one that he had been saving for two years (she backed up everything and only destroyed the screen, so stuff could still be salvaged just in case).”
“Pretty sweet stuff, honestly.”
“My friend is a bit more of the serious, logician type so she balances him out a lot.”
“He finds her antics pretty amusing too, probably a driving factor in their relationship.”
“Sorry for all this preamble, I’ll get to the point.”
“So, neither of them really care for the ceremony aspect of a wedding.”
“They’re going to get a courthouse wedding and save the money for a nice reception with only close friends and family.”
“There’s going to be three witnesses (me, the B[rides]M[aid], and the M[aid] O[f] H[onor]), and the wedding will have at most four to five more friends and some of the groom’s family.”
“The bride was all for this as she can get really anxious in big events like this, but she still feels like it’s not something to really ‘write home about.'”
“So, she wants to pull a pretty notable prank by having a dramatic objection or something during the ceremony.”
“Since I’ll be the only single one there, she wants me to do the objection thing, seem like I’m going for her, and then–plot twist!–vie for the groom.”
“Then she wants us to do a sword fight for his hand???”
“I wish I was joking, but she and the groom actually have a sizable sword collection, and she said she’d get her MoH to sneak two of the smaller ones.”
“The MoH (who was there while the bride was talking to me) interjected and said it was a stupid idea.”
“Relief.”
“She’d get fake swords since there could be issues in smuggling actual weapons.”
“Plus, she’d run it by the officiant and whoever else she’d have to at the courthouse to make sure not too much of a commotion was created.”
“Stress.”
“I, admittedly, am a bit of a doormat and didn’t outright say no at first and I was hoping the MoH would say something.”
“Then, I realized I needed to pull my big boy pants and say no.”
“Which, I did! Yay!”
“They weren’t happy, and not in an angry way, but in a way that made me feel immediately guilty.”
“Not yay. I stupidity offered to think of a different joke to pull.”
“They’ve added me to a group chat, where I’ve constantly tried reiterating how I didn’t feel comfortable with the pranks, and they’d try to reassure me, trying to get me to reconsider.”
“The MoH is calling me an a**hole for not following the bride’s wishes, as is one other mutual friend who the bride talked to about this.”
“It’s getting harder and harder to stick to my no.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. This is a weird thing to do, and you are not comfortable with it.”
“Even if your friend is normally ok with his bride’s prank, nothing guarantees he’ll appreciate it on his wedding day.”
“Better safe than sorry.”
‘She’ll have a lifetime with him making pranks anyway.” ~ IrrelevantManatee
“YOU DO NOT JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING VERBAL ABOUT THE CEREMONY!!!”
“There’s a ton of couples who haven’t been married because one of them said no instead of I do, thanks to this new pranking trend!”
“Asking if anyone objects is NOT just a routine question. It is serious business.”
“You can ask around about how strict this is. I’m not sure, but you might want to ask the bride if she’s willing to risk it.” ~ blueoffinland
“Most ceremonies have cut the objections now, the marriage license is considered to have taken the place of needing to ask the community for problems.”
“Objections were supposed to be like in Jane Eyre where the guy was still married to his wife locked in the attic, not the modern Hollywood ‘Are you sure you don’t love ME?'”
“Depending on local laws etc an objection may have to be investigated.”
“Also, when I have had jury duty they were pretty clear about no fake weapons in the courthouse, this specific prank sounds like a good way to end up in jail.” ~ Cayke_Cooky
“There can actually be legal issues in some jurisdictions.”
“If an objection is raised, the wedding can’t go ahead.”
“I remember reading about a case where someone objected, and even though the celebrant knew it was a prank, they could not continue the ceremony.”
“The court doesn’t have time to waste on a ‘fake sword fight.'”
“It would almost certainly result in the court refusing to continue the ceremony.”
“Bringing any weapon, even a fake sword, into a courtroom could result in arrests, someone getting tasered, or even shot, especially if you start fighting with them.”
“You need to get the bride to understand that any prank is a very bad idea and could have serious repercussions.” ~ Acceptable-Bell142
“I came here to mention the sword thing.”
“Even fake swords would probably not make it past security.”
“And even if they let you in after confiscating fake swords, objecting at a wedding as a prank is classless and cringe.”
“Even if the groom enjoys his girlfriend’s pranks, this is their wedding day.”
“I hardly think he’d appreciate a fake objection followed by a medieval reenactment of a Jerry Springer episode.”
“The judge probably wouldn’t either. NTA.” ~ cbm984
“I wish people would stop and think of possible consequences before they plan dumb stunts like this.”
“What if a bystander believes this is a real fight and decides to intervene?”
“You have to ‘smuggle’ in pretend weapons – what if you are caught and labeled a threat?”
“Why turn a wedding into a bad circus?”
“If you meant the ‘no’ stick to it.” ~ omeomi24
OP responded…
“I think she intended it to be a very silly, stupid-seeming fight so that no one would actually believe it was a real fight.”
“The Maid of Honor suggested one of those foam swords or cut-up pool noodles to seem like a sword.”
“The bride and I are very crafty, so we could theoretically do it.”
“Still, though, I’m going to stick to my no and probably help them think of a different prank to do during reception or something.
Reddit continued…
“That is the dumbest ‘prank’ I’ve ever heard.”
“I would be pissed if I was at a wedding and that happened.”
“I would actually get up and walk out.”
“The bride is a jerk. NTA.” ~ Correct-Jump8273
“NTA. Pretty sure she’s going to have trouble with a courthouse wedding getting a judge to agree that this is cute.”
“Actually, that could cut the conversation short.”
“Call the courthouse yourself and find out if they’d even allow something this dumb.” ~ Own_Lack_4526
“NTA. Ask her and how does the officiant feel about you wasting his time for a prank that’s not funny?”
“Keep saying NO.”
“If the bride wants to pull this she can easily invite another person to the ceremony who’d be willing to do that.”
“Make sure you keep screenshots of all the chats where you say no, you won’t do it because when this blows up, they’ll throw you under the bus.”
“Besides, it doesn’t matter if swords are fake. If one person perceives them to be real, then the law says they are.”
“It’s no different than robbing a store with a fake gun.” ~ wlfwrtr
“NTA. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but there was a story on here a while back where someone objected at a wedding as a joke, and somehow they made the ceremony unable to continue even though the groom was in on the joke.”
“The bride was devastated, and the wedding funding was wasted on a ceremony that couldn’t continue.”
“The whole day was spoiled and non-refundable.” ~ Nobody_asked_me1990
“NTA. This is something that would be fine if the bride, AND groom, AND you planned it to surprise and get a laugh out of the guests.”
“It’s extremely inappropriate for her to ask you to do this on both of their wedding day, at what is often the most emotional part of the day, without the knowledge of the person who is also getting married.”
“Absolutely not.”
“If I were in your position, I would refuse to do it, and I would also speak to the best man about the situation.”
“I would also consider speaking to the groom.” ~ girlyfoodadventures
“NTA. If they were hiring their own officiant to conduct the wedding in their backyard, she can pull whatever shenanigans she pleases.”
“But if they’re using a public facility such as a courthouse and the time and services of a court official, then it is extremely disrespectful — to the officiant, to taxpayers, and to the next people who are waiting to get married on that day — to waste time on nonsense like this.
“Your instincts are good.”
“Stick to that no as hard as you can.” ~ cpagali
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You shouldn’t be forced into an uncomfortable situation.
This is a wedding, not a cabaret show or Galaxycon.
Maybe see if anyone can help you convince her just to have a wedding.
Save the pranks for the honeymoon.