Nobody really wants to “tattle” on others.
But every once in a while, “tattling” is the only option.
Some people’s behaviors call for it.
Unfortunately, the person telling the truth is sometimes looked at unfavorably.
Redditor makeupaddict337 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for ratting my M[other]-I[n]-L[aw] out to her boyfriend for dumping his dog behind his back and stealing from his roommate?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My MIL moved out to live with her B[oy]F[riend] after we asked her to leave.”
“Then, a week ago, she brought us her boyfriend’s dog (a beautiful golden retriever) and told us that he needed to rehome it because his landlord didn’t want pets.”
“The poor dog was depressed the whole time even though my dog kept bringing him toys and trying to play.”
“Yesterday, MIL’s boyfriend showed up at our house to get something of hers out of the garage and saw the dog.”
“They were both overjoyed, and the boyfriend said that he thought the dog was missing.”
“I could have covered for MIL, but I told him that she brought the dog to us and said he wanted to rehome it.”
“Then I also ratted her out for something else that had happened even though it was unnecessary.”
“The boyfriend is a chef and lives in a large rented house with some other restaurant workers including two early 20s girls who share a bedroom.”
“One of the girls had called my wife and said that MIL had stolen a piece of jewelry and a bottle of perfume from her room.”
“She just wanted the things back (the jewelry was a gift from her parents) without starting drama in the house.”
“My wife managed to get them back to their rightful owner without boyfriend knowing.”
“Now boyfriend is irate over both situations and kicking MIL out.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“AITA for ratting MIL out when I could have said a lot less than I did?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP would NOT BE the A**hole.
“You have a very strange way of characterizing all of this drama.”
“Why would you think you were ‘ratting’ your mother-in-law out when what you were doing was giving a straightforward answer to a man whose dog was missing?”
“Your choice to throw in the jewelry theft after the dog thing is pretty weird, but can you honestly say that a sensible and attentive boyfriend would have been shocked by any of this?”
“You are NTA, but if I were you, I would spend a lot more time worrying about my wife’s apparent comfort with this sort of criminal behavior from her mother.” ~ EmceeSuzy
“NTA. The boyfriend needs to know about MIL and what she’s doing.”
“I would be raging pissed if someone just gave my dog away and told me she’d run off.”
“She’s a MASSIVE AH for doing that to him.”
“She deserves to be kicked out and dropped like a rock.” ~ IamIrene
“NTA. Overjoyed you returned the dog to his dad.”
“This idea of snitching is bad comes from the takers in our society.”
“You did well to tell him so he dumps her too.” ~ feminist1946
“Exactly– this isn’t ‘ratting her out.'”
“I mean, how long would it have taken for the boyfriend to then ask ‘Why is my dog in your place?'”
“Let’s not pretend the guy is stupid.”
“I think it’s the decent thing to do to tell someone when they are dealing with a hot mess like MIL, who is stealing from his roommates.” ~ fernswordgirl432
“NTA. You would have been TA if you hadn’t given this poor guy a heads-up that the woman who had just moved in with him was rehoming his pet without his consent and stealing from his housemates/co-workers.” ~ SomeoneYouDontKnow70
“NTA, it’s not your responsibility to cover for your MIL; she sounds exhausting.” ~ notadruggie31
“NTA. You did the right thing.”
“Your MIL was trying to get rid of the guy’s dog AND stealing from his housemates?”
“Nah… she got herself kicked out and saved this guy and his household a lot of grief.”
“Let her be someone else’s problem.” ~ fernswordgirl432
“Why do you keep trying to save your mother-in-law for God’s sake?”
“She sounds like a kleptomaniac and makes very questionable choices for other people without telling them the truth about things.”
“She is definitely TA.” ~ ssellzey
“NTA. With the dog, you were answering a question and clarifying a situation.”
“If the boyfriend had agreed to rehome then I would have a different response to the theft, but as he’s clearly had MIL lie to him already.”
“I think it’s reasonable to let him know about the theft.” ~ dragonetta123
“NTA. MIL is a grown adult, not a child.”
“It’s her job to act responsibly, find a place to live, and not, ya know, steal and give away someone else’s dog.”
“Part of me thinks she’s doing this to get kicked out so she can try to move back in with you… it’s also not like she even asked you to lie for her.”
“She lied to EVERYONE in this situation, including you and your wife.” ~ Dry-Explorer2970
“I’d have been interested in how else you’d have thought to explain his dog being at your house without giving the honest truth.”
“Considering you knew the dog was his, and you’d have known how to contact him, I can’t imagine a single fake story covering it.”
“Also, NTA is for the jewelry thing, either.”
“He needed to know she was a thief before she did it again.”
“The next person might not have handled it so calmly, and they might have tried to band together to kick him and his thieving girlfriend out.”
“I don’t understand how your wife lets any of this behavior fly.” ~ TrickSea_239
“NTA. He had the right to know his girlfriend was stealing from his roommates/tenants.”
“I’d be interested to know why you and your wife asked your MIL to leave your home.”
“It sounds like it’s relevant to the story.” ~ Sick_Of_Facebook75
“NTA but knowing your MIL you guys should have contacted the BF right away about the dog.”
“All you did was tell him the truth, about the dog and the stealing.”
“MIL is unhinged.” ~ Jerseygirl2468
“NTA. Nope.”
“If someone stole a partner’s dog and rehomed him, it’s time for scorched earth, then salting that earth, holding an exorcism over the salted ashes, dousing the ashes in holy water, and then burying the ashes in a lead-lined box inside of another box and bound with the anchor chain from a Zumwalt-class destroyer.”
“It is not your job to deceive your MIL’s bf that she stole his dog.”
“He is so very, very lucky that she didn’t dump that dog near a freeway or at a crowded shelter.” ~ Shdfx1
“NTA. Your spouse had better back you up because their toxic mother could’ve caused you to get a visit from the police.”
“In hindsight, you probably should’ve verified when a known thief showed up at your door giving away someone else’s dog.” ~ Somewhere_in_Canada1
“NTA. And I wouldn’t let her move back in with you, have a key to your place, or have any way to access your dog.”
“What kind of monster would steal their partner’s dog and let the partner think the dog is lost?”
“If she did it once, she could do it again.” ~ fixfoxfax
“NTA. WTF!”
“How could you NOT rat her out for stealing the dog?”
“When he came over he knew it was his dog!”
“Your MIL is a real thief.”
“I guess the dog should be lucky it didn’t just get dumped on the street somewhere.”
“Stealing from his roommate is just as bad.”
“It’s good you got their stuff back.”
“Your MIL has some serious issues.”
“What she did was way over the top.”
“It’s no wonder you asked her to leave.”
“She’s gonna be lucky if her boyfriend and roommates don’t file theft charges.”
“Change your locks and block her number, I have a feeling she’ll be trying to move back in short order.” ~ OkPsychology2376
“NTA. You didn’t ‘rat her out’—you told the truth.”
“MIL abandoned a living creature and stole from the people she lived with.”
“Covering for her would’ve made you complicit.”
“She’s facing consequences because of her actions, not because you couldn’t keep quiet.”
“If anything, you probably saved the boyfriend from more lies and theft down the line 🙃.” ~ pink_eden
“NTA, if you hadn’t relayed MIL’s message, he would’ve assumed you guys stole his dog, and MIL would’ve probably agreed.”
“As far as the ‘stealing of the other things’ it was going to come to light eventually anyway, the instant someone else had something go missing the fingers would’ve been pointed.”
“And then, he would assume you were a jerk who knew MIL was a thief but let him suffer.”
“Nobody was going to win, it was a matter of time before something would reveal MIL is a mess- if you keep her secrets, it will probably affect you.”
“Wash your hands of that.” ~ Floating-Cynic
“NTA, if she told her BF his dog went missing but wanted to secretly rehome it behind his back, this was incredibly mean and cruel.”
“The stealing just completes the picture, and it is not a nice one.”
“You did her BF a solid by letting him know.”
“Your MIL got what she deserved.” ~ Prangelina
“Is this really a question for you?”
“NTA at all, she is not a good person, and the sooner the boyfriend realizes who she is, the sooner he can decide if it’s worth it or not.”
“In my opinion, he totally deserved to know those things, and if you had to be the one to tell him, so be it.”
“Maybe now she will get a bit of consequences because maybe she didn’t get many before if she got to that age with this behavior.” ~ doctorbi*chcraft666
“NTA. She stole something of his and gave it to you.”
“She involved you in a crime.”
“Why would you cover for someone like that?”
“If anything, you want her to have a reason to stay away from you.”
“This was your chance to make that happen.” ~ Deep-Okra1461
“NTA. You’re not the AH for reporting her theft, she’s the AH for stealing.”
“If you hadn’t told him and later down the line he marries her/gives something up for her or he loses friends over her and then he finds out she stole, he’d be calling you an AH for not telling him (and so would I).”
“Also, what kind of human gives away their partner’s dog!”
“I hope this bloke doesn’t have children, as I’m sure your MIL will be trying to give them away too.” ~ Jumpy_Imagination208
“So, the opposite of ‘ratting out’ your MIL would have been to lie to her boyfriend and the roommates?”
“That would have made you just as bad as MIL because you knew what she did.”
“So, you took the higher ground and should never feel guilty of other’s choices.”
“SHE chose to lie, not you.”
“Also, telling someone the truth when they can see with their own two eyes you have the dog isn’t ratting out, it’s letting the boyfriend know he has an issue. NTA.” ~ jjrobinson73
“It’s never OK to allow a thief and liar to continue to steal and lie.”
“This whole ‘don’t be a snitch’ thing has got to change.”
“The only people who benefit from that mentality are THE THEIVES AND LIARS!”
“You didn’t rat anyone out; her boyfriend deserved to hear it.”
“How would you feel if your friends knew who had stolen something from you, but refused to tell you because that would be ratting someone out?”
“You don’t even like your MIL, so why do you care if her feelings are hurt?”
“She sounds like an awful person who belongs in jail.”
“Seriously, who steals a dog?”
“Think about it: You are contemplating if you should have helped hide the dog from its owner. Really?”
“NTA for this, but please get over it.”
“You knew it was the right thing to do, so stop pretending you did wrong and you feel bad.” ~ HyperboleBob
“NTA. You may want to distance yourself.”
“She is a proven thief and very cruel.” ~ One-Food-9893
“You are NTA.”
“Your MIL’s behavior warrants being outed.” ~ SpiritedAccount7239
“NTA. Why did you kick her out??”
“You probably didn’t have to throw in the jewelry part but you did.” ~ First_Car7204
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your MIL’s behavior is diabolical.
You were telling the truth.
That poor dog just wanted to go home.