Workplace drama is legendary.
Everyone has had some at some point in their lives.
Even people who work from home can’t escape it.
Otentimes it’s not that bad, other times it’s too much to handle.
And every now and again, combative action must be taken.
Redditor Deerman_Crybaby wanted to discuss their experience and get feedback, so they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for not letting my co-worker interrupt me anymore?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I’ve been at my job for three years now, and in personal and professional conversation, my co-worker continually interrupts me.”
“Not just me, it’s everyone.”
“Usually, someone will start to speak, and after about 2 seconds, he will interrupt.”
“Not always about the same subject, sometimes he will just spark into a completely different topic.”
“There are professional conversations that have to happen, and we literally sit next to each other.”
“Always thought that’s just how his brain works or he’s got a different communication style.”
“Recently, I started just literally talking louder and not stopping when he interrupts.”
“It usually leads to both of us talking for 1-2 seconds… sometimes he will stop/slow down, and sometimes he just keeps going, almost ignoring what I’m saying.”
“I feel crazy, and I feel like everyone else at work notices.”
“I asked him to just stop interrupting me, but when I brought this up to a friend, they said that’s an a**hole move (didn’t work, by the way).”
The OP was left to wonder:
“Am I an a**hole?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA. But I think your strategy can be improved.”
“Right now, you’re sidestepping a bit.”
“When it happens, say ‘please don’t interrupt me.'”
“When it happens to someone else, say, ‘hold on, I was listening to ____.'”
“It sounds like you’ve already talked to them privately, with no result.”
“You need to call them out in front of others directly.”
“Shame works.” ~ 9okm
“My friend once did what OP did.”
“She kept talking over the other person who constantly talks over others, but she also raised her voice and added a comment: ‘–in the end of thE SHOW I’M STILL TALKING JONATHAN PLEASE DON’T INTERRUPT ME IT’S RUDE AND AS I WAS SAYING, THE WAy the show portrays–‘ and son on.”
“She did it every time during the conversation until he stopped doing it.” ~ sweetpotatothyme
“This is perfect because I just get excited sometimes and start yapping when I don’t mean to.”
“I just can’t control it, and sometimes I get that said to me.”
“GENUINELY, it helps me keep the brain calm enough to keep my thoughts AND get them out when it’s actually my turn to speak.” ~ Oddveig37
“In my experience, if the requesting conversational space to finish speaking isn’t working after a couple times, say ‘Is there a *real *reason that you’re interrupting a necessary professional conversation right now?’”
“And if he doesn’t immediately shut up, don’t wait for a REAL response, only for him to start justifying himself, and just veryyy lightly laugh and/or wave your hand politely but dismissively while continuing loudly about work. NTA.” ~ LastStanza
“I’ve learned what seems to work best on men that interrupt is to fully let them say what they wanna say, ignore everything they say, then when they’re done go ‘ok, so as I was saying before I was interrupted,’ and continue with what you were saying.”
“9/10 times if said with a flat emotionless tone it gets a ‘oh sorry’ because men are delicate and you have to be careful on how you point out their wrongdoings.”
“Otherwise, they might fly off the handle and start being aggressive because you hurt their feelings by not allowing them to do whatever they wanted to do without any consequence, despite the fact that what they were doing was rude and unacceptable in the society that they created.”
“Hope this helps.” ~ freshdeliveredtrash
“NTA. I have strategies for people like this, who think whatever they’re saying is more important than any other conversation.”
“My favorite is ‘Can I finish?'”
“I’ve learned people like that will never stop until you call them out on it.” ~ NotCreativeAtAll16NotCreativeAtAll16
“NTA, but to say I was in a relationship like this.”
“My ex did the same and blamed it on being in a big family when I asked him to stop.”
“Next I did the same as you (louder) also to no effect.”
“Next I gave up and sulked.”
“Then I ended the relationship.”
“I doubt you’ll change his behavior.”
“Sorry you can’t just end your working relationship with him!” ~ Additional_Alfalfa35
“NTA. Got friendly with a group of chaps from a local bar and used to meet up once a week, but there was this one guy who was a real know-it-all and refused to be reasonable.”
“He’d hold the floor for 20 minutes then when someone else saw a gap and tried to say something, he would just talk over them.”
“They were too polite and would always yield, so the evening largely became listening to this guy expound on what an expert he was on everything.”
“I got fed up one night and just continued talking when he tried to talk over me.”
“He gave me an angry look like I was the one being rude! I carried on talking and so did he, so the conversation split into two separate conversations.”
“I say conversations… I was having a conversation and he was just on broadcast.”
“Every single subject, he considered himself the expert on… for example, that place in Switzerland my father was evacuated to during the war and lived there for a year?”
“My father’s pronunciation was wrong and this guy’s was right, apparently.”
“That rare W[orld] W[ar]2 Luger only issued to officers a friend found in his loft with a butt-stock attachment and drum magazine?”
“Couldn’t have happened because this guy knew for a fact nothing like that ever existed.”
“We used to wind him up by acting really dumb.”
“No matter how stupid what you said was, he would believe you were serious because that’s what he thought of everyone.”
“It was good sport and made it bearable to be around him.” ~ Keely369
“That is actually exactly how to do it.”
“He may just have A[ttention]-D[eficit]/H[yperactivity] D[isorder] and bad impulse control like me.”
“I interrupt a lot but once my I[n]-L[aws] kept talking over me it rewired my brain a little to not interrupt or I wont be able to speak at all.”
“To be clear, I am the one being rude, not my in-laws.”
“I’m aware of that, even if I can’t always close my mouth in time.” ~ DogsNCoffeeAddict
“NTA. Actually I don’t think you’re being enough of an ar**hole.”
“I recommend a keyring whistle.”
“Yeah let me interrupt- ‘PHWEEE!'”
“AS I WAS SAYING!!!” ~ MorporkianDisc
“NTA. You have to be able to speak without being interrupted.”
“Sometimes let him interrupt, and then say things like, ‘going back to what I was saying earlier’ and continue to stay on point.”
“Sometimes say, ‘Please allow me to finish what I am saying before interrupting.'”
“I think if you say it nicely, it should be received nicely.”
“If it isn’t, well that’s his problem.” ~ Gamestonk5000
“NTA. Oh no, how dare you expect to finish a sentence at work?”
“The audacity!”
“You put up with this for three years, tried addressing it like an adult, and when that didn’t work, you found a way to hold your ground.”
“If your coworker gets to ignore conversation etiquette, why should you be the only one playing by the rules?” ~ cmrtl13
“Talk to him again, ask if he realizes how often he interrupts people who are speaking.”
“I’m not making excuses, I interrupt people and try so hard not to.”
“I work on it always but damned if I can control myself sometimes.”
“Maybe a hand up to signal him or something would help – if he’s aware and wants to improve.”
“I’m guessing that it’s an ADHD thing but I have no proof of that.” ~ uTop-Artichoke5020
“NTA. When he interrupts you, just cut him off with a somewhat louder voice, ‘Excuse me, I am speaking,’ and then go on with your original thought.”
“If he continues to interrupt, then cut him off with ‘Interrupting me while I am speaking is rude. Allow me to finish what I was saying.'”
“Repeat as often as necessary.” ~ alisonchains2023
“NTA, on another post, this woman mentioned to all the coworkers at her male-dominated job that she would start knocking on the table/surface every time one of them started interrupting her.”
“And a few were surprised how much they unconsciously did it.”
“I’d announce something like that and wear a big ol’ costume jewelry bauble ring, to give it some resonance.” ~ Lithogiraffe
“You are not an a******.”
“He is rude for interrupting everyone.”
“My daughter told me what she does in meetings is, if someone starts to interrupt, she holds up her hand as if to say ‘stop.'”
“Then she finishes speaking.”
“She will also say, ‘Let me finish my point.'”
“She is very effective in business.”
“You might try this with the jerk.” ~ Critical_Armadillo32
“NTA – I don’t know how it’s rude of you to ask to stop being interrupted.”
“What’s rude is to interrupt.”
“People really lack manners sometimes.” ~ dizzydugout
“Have you tried to cease talking to him the moment he tries to derail it?”
“Like literally quit talking, look away so doing something else, and if he asks you something, tell him you stop listening because he interrupted.”
“Just do it every single time.”
“Not worth your effort to counter it, move on to something else entirely.” ~ AndarianDequer
“My dad used to do this.”
“Any conversation, he’d just butt in, talk loudly over everyone, and take over.”
“Mom and I got fed up with it.”
“No amount of reasoning with him would get him to stop.”
“So we tried continuing on, instead of stopping talking.”
“He’d get louder and louder.”
“We’d probably stop talking, because we’d be shouting to compete with him.”
“Not great.”
“So we ignored him.”
“No answering him, not even acknowledging he was there.”
“He didn’t like it.”
“But he did get the message.”
“It was a battle of wills with him all the time.” ~ Ratchet_gurl24
“NTA. Some people are in their own heads so much, they do not even realize how their behavior appears to others.”
“It seems a kind, respectful, and direct conversation is necessary.”
“Shaming would be counterproductive.”
“It seems this person needs some kind of cue to let them know when they are ‘doing it again.'” ~ ChooseKind24
“NTA. Make sure you have coworkers on your side before you try anything.”
“You’ve been there 3 years but do you have any allies there?”
“Personality clashes like this are often decided by who is more popular with coworkers.” ~ Deep-Okra1461
“NTA, he’s exceptionally rude.”
“Don’t stop, if he continues, start calling him out.”
“Like ‘I’m not finished speaking, stop talking over me now.'”
“Litterally demand your voice, but don’t escalate your volume too loud.”
“Then finish what you were saying.”
“Of he continues, goto hr with support from others that he does it to.”
“He’s using this as a bullying tactic and to stand out above his colleagues.”
“Either internationally rude or ignorantly rude, it is turning the workplace toxic due to hid disrespectful behavior.” ~ thenord321
“NTA. As a mental health professional, I wonder if your coworker has untreated ADHD.”
“People with ADHD may have poor impulse control and this can manifest in constantly interrupting other people or just blurting stuff out.”
“Since you are his coworker, and not his friend, I’m not sure how this could be broached, so I wouldn’t advise it.”
“I am curious though – does he do this to everyone, or just to you?” ~ jindoowner
“NTA. I’ve been around people like this.”
“When they cut me off, I just walk away.”
“They wanted the attention that badly, but their not getting it at my expense.”
“And it usually send a much louder message than just talking louder.”
“It’s actually worked for me.” ~ More-Diet3566
Reddit understands your reaction to this co-worker, OP.
You had had enough.
Sounds like it could be a good idea to go to HR and let them handle it.
You don’t want anyone to weaponize your behavior.
Be careful. Good luck.