Redditor Johnnyb186 is a young adult still currently living with their parents.
The Original Poster (OP) recently got promoted from being a temporary employee to being a member of the company they were working for.
Along with this promotion, the OP’s mom more than doubled their rent.
This caused the OP to choose to move out, inciting an argument between them and their mom.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
They asked:
“AITA for telling my mom I will move out vs paying $600 a month rent?”
They went on to explain:
“I’m 25 years old, was paying $60 a week rent for a few years. I recently started a new temp job that pays pretty decent, and they decided to keep me with the company last week.”
“This morning, my mom texted me to say, ‘Rent starts up again, $150 a week’.”
“I just told her I will move out. I already pay for my own meals. I only have my small bedroom to call my own in their house.”
“I can rent a studio apartment 3 or 4 times the size of my room for a few hundred more, or could rent a room with friends for less than my mom is trying to charge me.”
“It would be one thing if they cooked and cleaned for me every day and I was raking up their bills, but I do my own thing…”
“…pay my own bills, I never really even cross paths with my parents besides when I am getting off work.”
“My mom’s definitely pissed that I said that, I can tell. But I’m also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house.”
“Even 100 a week I would have been more inclined to be okay with, but 600 a month just to be able to sleep at my parent’s house seems a little high.”
“If I am paying $600 a month I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord, it seems having a landlord would be a better deal for me in this case.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“‘But I’m also upset the person who birthed me is trying to get me to pay what I would pay a landlord for rent just to sleep in her house.'”
“You know, parents have bills and utilities to pay, too. You’re only entitled to free room and board until you’re a legal adult.”
“‘If I am paying $600 a month, I think I would deserve my own spaces around the house also as I would with a landlord'”
“Lol, if you can swing it for $600 go for it. Where I come from, $600/month would get you a shared bedroom, a half-bath, and access to a garden hose with a 3-minute shut-off timer to shower with.”
“Despite coming off a little naive, you’re definitely NTA. I’m not sure why she would be angry unless she was genuinely depending on the income she got from you to pay bills.”
“If she was only depending on it for luxuries and fun money, then she’s extra AH-ish.” – consolelog_a11y
“NTA – you mom has no right to be mad at you for moving out.”
“However, quit the ‘person who birthed me’ nonsense, $600 is too much but $400 is fine for mothers? Who came up with that arbitrary line?” – SkynetMCP
“INFO: where do you live? What’s the cost of living? Have you looked at the rental market recently? $600 for a studio, what about utilities, internet, renter’s insurance??”
“Will you have to use a laundromat? Have you calculated that cost into your monthly budget.”
“You should sit down and calculate these numbers. Better yet, sit down with your mom, look at comparables and calculate all the additional costs you weren’t paying at $60 a week.”
“Also, do you have furniture? A lot goes into getting an apartment. Do you make 2-3 times over the monthly rent?”
“That’s what places are asking for, if you don’t and you don’t have references they’ll ask you for a co-signer to guarantee you’ll be able to afford rent.”
“Also do you have enough to pay 1st & last months?”
“You aren’t just paying for a room, you’re paying into all those costs as well. Be sure you can afford it before you go off.” – AdIntrepid4978
“NAH – ‘Rent starts up again…’ Sounds like she was giving you a free ride for a bit and then gave you a week to celebrate the job before informing you it was time to start adulting again.”
“She seems like a great mom”
“You have no obligation to live with your parents”
“Her being upset may just be because you’re leaving and that can be hard on parents” – DrFishTaco
“NAH”
“1. It’s their house and you’re 25, if she wants to charge you rent she can”
“2. You’re 25 and you should absolutely have the right to a) say you want to move out at that price and b) actually move out….” – ReviewOk929
“NAH – but”
“Lemme break it down for you:”
“Rent: $600.00”
“Food/Necessities: $300.00 (cheap budget)”
“Electric: $100.00”
“Trash/Water: $50-100 (depending on where you live)”
“Laundry: $30 a month (if you have to use a laundromat)”
“Internet: $40-100 (depending on what you get)”
“Gas (Car): $60.00 (avg, if you drive more and have a big truck, it will be more)”
“Car insurance: $100.00 (might be higher depending on driving record)”
“Cell Phone: $100 (for an iphone, minimum)”
“Renter’s Insurance: $40 (shop around, might find better deals)”
“Assuming you do not have to pay anything else, you are looking at about $1350.00 before you do things like:”
“Make a car payment, streaming services, pay for dates, buy clothes/business, go to the doctor, get an oil change, replace a flat tire, play any online video games…”
“…want to eat out/DoorDash/UberEats, go to a concert – do anything other than just survive.”
“It is insanely expensive to be out in the wild right now – groceries at $300.00 a month is you living on the barest of bare foods.”
“It can be done, I did it for a couple of years, but it gets hard to look forward to always eating the toughest meat, the same bland cereals, ramen, or whatever your food of choice ends up being.”
“You will be able to stomach it for a few months, but then you are going to want something besides a sandwich and chips.”
“You can absolutely cut some costs, too—you can give up your smartphone for a flip phone and save $80.00 a month, or you can get the slowest internet speed and save another $50.00.”
“You can wear your rotation of work clothes/home clothes 3-4 times before you wash them, but they will wear out faster if you do that.”
“You can get rid of your car and use public transportation, which is still going to cost you time and money, but not as much as a car payment or car insurance.”
“Just be prepared for living on your own – anyone who has ever ventured out always thought they could do it on their own, got hit in the face with reality…”
“…had to make some hard decisions, and eventually adjusted and are doing just fine.”
“You will too – just don’t go into it thinking you are not going to have sacrifice some of the things you are used to.” – Ayste
“NAH”
“You have the right to decide if you want to live in that space with your parents, pay more to live on your own, or pay less to live with (potentially more than 2) friends.”
“You can absolutely choose to move out.”
“However, your parents definitely have the right to determine the amount of rent. It doesn’t matter if she is your mother.”
“Not that this is relevant, but they too are humans with costs and retirement to think about, and you are now an adult who doesn’t need to be supported.” – Independent_Rain4838
“How did you phrase it?”
“Because if you were like ‘I appreciate having lived with you, but I think it’s the right time for me to get my own place’ she’s TA”
“But if you took it really personally and went off on her I get why she would be pissed”
“But yeah you should move out” – lutensfan
“NTA, you can do whatever you want. I’d be curious to know if ‘pay my own bills’ includes things like natural gas, electric, internet etc or just things like gas and your phone.”
“$600 for an apartment on your own seems highly unlikely, but maybe where you live, it’s doable. You’d be looking to add a few hundred for utilities on top of that.”
“At the end of the day, just don’t put yourself in a financial bind out of stubbornness. It’s worth dealing with your folks if it sets you up for a better, sustainable future.”
“Best of luck.” – Leather_Sweet_2079
“NAH. You SHOULD move out–you need a life as an independent adult. Although you claim you’re independent at home, it is just not the same thing as living on your own.”
“However, your mom is not an AH for charging a 25-year-old rent, especially as it seems you got a pass on rent for an extended period of time because you couldn’t afford it.” – JeepersCreepers74
Best of luck, OP.
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