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Redditor Called Out For ‘Ruining’ Girlfriend’s Brother’s Proposal During Her Housewarming Party

Man proposing to woman
Robert Daly/Getty Images

Proposals on holidays and special occasions can make memorable days even more exciting.

But crashing someone else’s party to propose? Well, Redditor ItsNotMyPartyOrYours doesn’t think that’s an appropriate time or place.

The Original Poster (OP) recently took to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) to vent and get advice.

They asked,

“AITA for ruining a proposal?”

They went on to tell their story.

My girlfriend just bought a house and is so excited. She invited a ton of people over for a housewarming.”

“She put so much work into everything. The house looked amazing, and the food was delicious.”

“Right after dinner, while my girlfriend was getting dessert, her brother proposed to his girlfriend. I was mad because he hijacked my girlfriend’s event that she worked so hard for.”

“Before she could answer I told him to sit down and quit being so rude and disrespectful to his sister. He was mad, but his girlfriend looked so embarrassed. They ended up leaving.”

“The party was very awkward after that. A lot of people left early. My girlfriend’s mom was furious at me, because she wanted her son to stop living in sin, and I ruined it.”

“My girlfriend said I was sweet but didn’t need to do that. Her brother texted me calling me a pr*ck.”

“Was I an a**hole for telling them to have some class?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. It is just plain rude to start hijacking events for your proposal.”

“Oh, my sister bought a new house? Perfect situation to make sure it revolves all around my proposal.”

“Your BIL sounds like a cheapskate who thought he could get away with it. Is he normally so entitled?” – Purpleurkelfromurk


“Based on your comments alone. Your gf says she’s used to her family hijacking her events, so clearly this is not a one-time thing.”

“It seems her family uses every happy moment of hers to have the spotlight shining on themselves. I think all the Y T A comments are weird.”

“Edit- I meant all the Y T A were weird to me because I assumed everyone was a creep on Reddit like me and reads people’s comments.”

“Without the context from OPs comments, it does seem like he’s a slight AH instead of looking out for his gf who is always overlooked.” – Impossible-Peach-985


“He tried hijacking someone else’s party; eventually, people need to learn you ask before making someone else’s event all about you.”  – No-Personality5421

NTA. This wasn’t their event. If he wanted to propose to his GF, then he should have had the manners to ask permission of the host first as opposed to hijacking someone else’s event.”

“And of course, her brother called you a pr*ck – you called out his bad behavior.” – bamf1701


“Text him back telling him he’s the cheap pr*ck, piggybacking off his sister..”

“If he didn’t want people to see what a pr*ck he is he shouldn’t have tried to use his sister’s house, her party, her food, her money, her effort, and her hostess ING to cheap out on a proposal to his girlfriend.” – Fit_General7058

NTA. Your girlfriend’s entire family has a history of hijacking her events, and you stood up to them. Her brother was rude to take an event that was about his sister and make it about himself.”

“Is this the only issue your girlfriend faces with her family?” – barbiesalopecia

Lol if I’m being honest, I laughed a bit reading this.”

“You’re slightly TA for at least not giving his girlfriend the time to answer his proposal, but you’re sweet for wanting your girlfriend’s housewarming to go smoothly.”

“Did your girlfriend even know her brother was going to propose at her housewarming? What if she allowed it? How did she feel about your reaction?”

“Edit: you know what OP, I thought about it, and I’ll take away the “slightly TA” to NTA. I would have definitely done the same thing you did. Props to you” – blackuniverse01

”NTA. You don’t hijack another person’s event for a proposal. Tell him to go out to dinner and do that with everyone else and to let your GF’s party `be about her buying her first house.” – NotCreativeAtAll16

“NTA since your gf wasn’t mad. There is a right time and place to propose, and buddy didn’t get the hint. If you ever plan to propose at someone else’s event, ASK THEM FIRST!!” – Strange-Courage

“I’m going with NTA for the fact that this guy used your gfs hard work and planning as his proposal setting. He was too lazy to decorate/set up/plan his own get-together.”

“To top it off, he didn’t bother to check in beforehand with you-the hosts that did all the work to celebrate YOUR moment.”

“If he had any brains, he would have asked permission and helped sis with decorating, cleaning, costs, etc.” – flonkerton-

E S H, he for taking her moment to make it about himself and you for assuming your gf can’t handle this on her own, she’s right you didn’t need to do that nor was it your place to do so.”

“EDIT: changing my vote to NTA, after reading the comment where you mention her family is used to hijack her moments, F them in that case.” – Certain-Thought531

“NTA, based on the additional info that your gf’s family regularly hijacks her events. Her brother did this on purpose.” – StitchandReuben

“NTA- it’s always sh*tty behaviour to propose or announce something big. Buying a house is a HUGE deal nowadays and should be celebrated.” – heheredbull

“NTA but I’m wondering what the family dynamic history is between your girlfriend and her brother/mother.”

“It’s rude to propose at someone else’s event without asking for permission but the mothers comment about “living in sin” raised some questions for me about the behind the scenes drama of all this.”

“Good for you for setting boundaries on this kind attention stealing behavior but ask your girlfriend what this is really all about so you two can agree on appropriate boundaries for extended family in the future and be able to put up a more united front should anyone cross them going forward.” – Yetis-unicorn

“NTA. Be prepared to continue to offer this level of service to your gf because her family treats her like a doormat.” – eightmarshmallows

“NTA as you mentioned that his family has a habit of doing this, and the brother conveniently wants until gf isn’t in the room. Sounds like gf’s family is mad you didn’t let them hijack yet another event.” – Heavy_Sand5228

“NTA… her brother took advantage of a party he contributed nothing to.”

“He wanted a special occasion to propose? Then plan one yourself. Or at least ask the host before and share expenses.”

“I say good for you for sticking up for your girlfriend. Someone should!”

“This behavior is already too normalized in her life… (OP comments on her family high jacking events before) someone needs to put her first, and you did.”

“They’re the type of people that would use someone else’s baby shower to announce a pregnancy (without prior ok)” – 08PetitSkye09


“‘She put so much work into everything. The house looked amazing, and the food was delicious.’”

“‘She did not. She was sad that he did it but said she is used to her family hijacking her events and that it isn’t a big deal to her anymore.’”

“The housewarming was for your girlfriend to celebrate buying a house. She put in the work. This was her event and her time to shine.”

“Her brother wanted to use the event for his own selfish reasons. You did a good job by standing up for her. It’s a shame she’s used to being treated that way by her own family.”

“The mom and brother can get over themselves.” – buttercupgrump

NTA – decades and decades of this, and it’s still a problem. Do not hijack someone else’s event for your attention-grabbing stunt. Ever. Don’t do it.”

“Brides-to-be, if your guy does it, it should merit an instant. No, due to him showing poor judgment.”

“It just kills me that this stuff is all over the internet in all imaginable media types, and it never ends well, and somehow fools keep thinking theirs will be the exception because they’re just so awesome a person.”

“I swear we need to include a semester of Basic Manners 101 in freshman high school.” – avast2006

NTA at all. OP says in a comment that his gf didn’t know about it, and she was sad because she’s used to her family hijacking special events in her life.”

“She invited people to HER HOUSEWARMING, so the brother should’ve at least checked with her before going ahead with the proposal.”

“I really don’t understand people calling OP an AH. If OP hadn’t done anything, people would’ve accused him of being a wuss and not standing up for his gf.”

“But when he does stand up, some people complain that he shouldn’t have? Come on! 🤦🏻‍♀️“ – italktoomuchuknow

Maybe the next proposal for the OP will be their own (in a much more tasteful manner, of course).

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)