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Redditor Threatens To Call Cops On Wife For Giving $300 Tent They Won Away To Friend For Free

Woman setting up tent
Tony Anderson/Getty Images

We all know that person who is overly generous.

Redditor Salty_University_202 knows that person all too well as they are married to them.

The Original Poster (OP) has a long history of getting frustrated when their wife has lent out some item or another for weeks or months at a time without informing them.

Recently, the OP won a tent, and they intended to sell it.

When they found a buyer, they couldn’t locate the tent, only finding out that their wife had given it to a friend.

This was the last straw for the OP, and they insisted she pay them for the tent.

An argument ensued, driving the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).

They asked:

“AITA for making my wife pay me for something she gave away”

They went on to explain:

“My wife has a bad habit of giving away or lending out things that don’t belong to her. I’ve lost count of how many times I go to look for something of mine only for her to say she lent it to somebody.”

“She also takes forever to get the item back. She once lent my stuff to a coworker and refused to ask for it back for a month.”

“And I’ll never forget the day my usually quiet, reserved son snapped at her for trying to give away his Nintendo Switch.”

“If I wasn’t also fed up with her behavior, I would have washed his mouth out with soap. I’ve had countless talks with her, but she continues to do this.”

“My son and I have resorted to locking up anything we didn’t want touched, which is something we shouldn’t have to do in our own home.”

“Last week I won a $300 tent in a raffle. I had no plans on using it, so I was selling it. When I found a buyer and went to look for it I couldn’t find it.”

“When I asked my wife, she said she gave it to a friend of ours. I got mad at her and said she had no right to give it away.”

“Her defense was since I didn’t spend money on it and was I planning on using it, it made sense to give it away for free. I told her that wasn’t her decision to make, but she just kept repeating herself.”

“I had enough of this and said she’s either going to pay me herself or get the money from who she gave it to and if she didn’t, I’d get law enforcement involved.”

“Since she would rather die than ask a friend for money, she paid me out of her own pocket.”

“This issue eventually got around to her family. While they did say she should have talked to me first, they also reprimanded me for asking for payment.”

“They reasoned that since I didn’t actually buy the tent, I didn’t lose any money, and it went to a friend who could actually put it to good use.”

“I got several texts saying I should be ashamed for extorting my wife for money.”

“I think I have every right to want to be paid for something of mine that was taken, but everyone keeps emphasizing the fact that I didn’t technically buy the tent…”

“…and didn’t want it so I have nothing to be upset about. AITA?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:

“NTA. She absolutely shouldn’t have done that. What it sounds like is your family and friends don’t understand the magnitude of the situation.”

“Of course they think it’s absurd because they don’t know that she does this all the time. You’re just finally fed up with and put your foot down.”

“Honestly, sounds like you should’ve done that a while ago. How would she feel if her stuff just went missing? Tell her she stops, and if she doesn’t, I would give her a taste of her own medicine.”

“I would take things of hers and just give them away. Even if I just pretended I did just to prove a point. Sounds petty I know, but she clearly isn’t getting it any other way.” – Novel_Sky8624

“NTA…does your wife give away any of her own things? Or just everyone else’s?” – Worth-Season3645

“Honestly, it sounds as if your wife has an issue she needs to see a professional about.”

“Giving away your family property, not looking after to get it back, caring more about what her colleagues and friends think than how she makes her family feel – this is sort of a worrying thing.”

“She doesn’t prioritize you and your son. She sounds as if she has a problem with definition of personal property.” – atealein

“I’ve seen this in my mom – her’s comes from a desperate need to be liked and look good. She loves the rush of being the person who gave someone the thing they want or need.”

“Since I was her kid, there’s no rush from doing what I wanted because I should love her by default.”

“But coming through with a PlayStation for a new family in town or party clothes for her friends’ daughters…”

“…or the shoes her niece wanted in addition to the pair my mom had actually bought as a gift?”

“All my possessions and given publicly to make her look good in front of friends and family.” – SnooPets8873


“1.  It’s ridiculous that a boundary even needed to be set in the first place. It’s basic human decently not to give away stuff that isn’t yours.”

“2. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT COST. If it doesn’t 100% belong to her, then she has no right to decide what happens to it unilaterally.”

“That is HUGELY disrespectful in any partnership or human interaction.”

“She wouldn’t be happy if you gave away a seldom-used piece of her jewelry on the basis that it was gifted to her and therefore cost her nothing.”

“Her generosity should not come at her loved one’s expense.” – sav575757

“I think you have every right…absolutely.”


“However, technically, you should tell her, ‘If you ever give away something of mine again without my permission, it’s stealing, and I’ll demand the money back for it’.”

“Just a head’s up so she knows what’s coming and there can’t be any surprise at your actions.”

“I’d also like to know how she’d feel (and her family at that) if you started doing the same.”

“Any gifts you’ve given her that ‘technically she didn’t pay for’, should be yours to start doing what you’d want with it.”

“Books she’s finished reading, jewelry she doesn’t wear often, maybe skiis, a bicycle…wonder how long it would take her to get the point.” – Canadian_01

“NTA…she’s stealing other people’s items and shows no remorse or intention to change her behavior.”

“If her relatives are so concerned,  perhaps they should donate some funds to the cause. It’s easy for them to reason on her behalf when it’s not their stuff. ” – RoyallyOakie

“Yeah, the stealing word is the word OP needs to use. Sit her down and say that the items in this house fall into three categories…”

“1) Yours, 2) Someone Else’s (dad, son, etc) and 3) Shared items. She clearly feels that she owns all the items in the house.”

“Then tell her that she’s free to do anything she wants with her personal items, but that it is stealing to do something with category 2 without permission…”

“…and it is also stealing to do something with category 3 without agreement from all stakeholders.” – jsseven777

“NTA. As several other Redditors have commented, her behavior stems from some sort of insecurity and need to please.”

“So unless she talks to a professional, she will continue to view you as an AH, rather than see her behaviour as problematic.”

“So while I don’t blame you for getting bad and asking her for reimbursement, maybe you should also set up an appointment with a therapist.”

“Otherwise, this will take a toll on your marriage.” – Ok_hon

“NTA. One of the most disgusting things you can do to people you supposedly love is to be ‘generous’ with their resources…”

“…whether they are lending you out to shovel snow at the neighbours, taking your money or your possessions and giving them to others.”

“There may be rare cases where they do it out of ‘the kindness of their heart’, but most of the time they just want to appear to be heroes to their friends…”

“…coworkers or whoever they are bestowing your stuff on. Let them pay or be reported to the authorities till they have learnt the difference between ‘mine’ and ‘yours’.” – FragrantEconomist386

“NTA but your wife needs therapy. This is sincerely unhealthy. Look up ‘Compulsive generosity’ and see if some of the articles ring any bells.”

“This behavior has a number of different root causes, and your whole family deserves to be freed from this.”

“I would suggest 1 or 2 sessions as a couple, perhaps one with your son included (depending on his age & the therapist’s recommendation)…”

“…to establish the extent of the issue and then she needs to dig in and do the work in individual sessions.” – rapt2right

As one Redditor said, her generosity can’t come at the expense of her loved ones.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)