I worked from home before the pandemic forced a lot of people to do it for the very first time. As a confirmed introvert, I prefer to work from home.
What I don’t like is people thinking being at home means I’m not really working, and I don’t have a schedule I keep.
A young man whose sister also devalued his work-from-home job turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Throwerrrrr777 asked:
“AITA for refusing to babysit my sister’s kids after she said my career isn’t ‘real work’?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“So I (26, male) work from home as a freelance graphic designer. It’s a flexible job, and I can manage my own hours, but that doesn’t mean I’m not busy or working hard.”
“My sister (35, female) has three kids under the age of 7 and is constantly asking me to babysit. At first, I didn’t mind helping out occasionally, but lately, it feels like she’s taking advantage of me just because I’m at home.”
“A few weeks ago, we were at a family dinner, and my sister made a comment about how ‘I don’t have a real job’ and that ‘I’m basically just playing around on my computer all day’. I was pretty offended, but I didn’t want to make a scene, so I just laughed it off.”
“The next week, she asked me to watch her kids again because she had something come up. I told her I couldn’t because I had deadlines to meet.”
“She got upset and said, ‘You’re home all day, what could be so important? It’s not like you’re doing real work’. That was the last straw for me.”
“I told her that if she didn’t think my job was real, then she could find someone else to babysit, and I wouldn’t be helping her anymore. Now, she’s furious and says I’m punishing her and the kids over a ‘harmless comment’.”
“My mom has been telling me to just let it go because ‘family helps each other out’, but I’m honestly still pissed. She does help out too, but nowhere near as much as I do because she lives a little further away.”
“AITA for refusing to babysit after my sister disrespected my job?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I might be the a**hole because I told my sister I won’t babysit for her anymore and because she relies on me for babysitting.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“As a former full-time graphic designer with an in-home business, the very last thing on the planet I would want to deal with during a business day is three kids under the age of 7.”
“The problem is that you let this happen the first time, so she thinks it must be easy and you don’t mind doing it. A solid ‘NO’ would have shown that you are doing a real job and can’t be bothered with her kids all day.”
“She made the kids, she gets to deal with the kids. They are her problem, not yours. You aren’t her babysitting service.”
“Your mom sounds like she’s open for the job. Sister can take the kids all the way to her house instead. Problem solved. NTA.” ~ thewoodsiswatching
“Your sister’s comment was disrespectful and undermining your work. If she can’t appreciate your career, she doesn’t get to take advantage of your time. NTA.” ~ BaddieonFleek
“Funny how people only cry ‘…but FaMiLy!!’ when it’s convenient for them. Where was the family when she consistently disrespected you & your job?”
“Tell all those people who are bothering you about it that you’ll tell your sister you have good news! They volunteered to watch her kids because family helps family, right? NTA.” ~ Immediate-Ad7531
“NTA. if she feels this way then you can take your fake time with your fake money that you made from your fake work and spend it on people who respect you and your career.” ~ throwraforffs
“It was not a harmless comment. NTA for pushing back on babysitting—her demands on your time would only escalate if you had not put a stop to it.”
“I’m thinking your mother doesn’t get it either if she feels you should continue to babysit.”
“Graphic design is highly time-consuming. You don’t kick out a design in 15 minutes.” ~ Mamijie
“NTA—family does help each other out, but that doesn’t mean that she gets to sh*t on you.”
“And also, you are justifiably punishing her, but not her kids. If she has this big ‘real job’, then she can pay for childcare.” ~ Saintx77
“NTA—it’s not A harmless comment. It’s several comments she keeps repeating! I would send her some memes about not biting the hand that feeds you.”
“Just tell your family she was right, and because of what she said, you applied and have been offered a ‘’real job’ at a small office-based company, so no more babysitting since you won’t be home anymore.”
“Watch her face drop! It will be priceless. Then carry on working from home at your small office based company of one.” ~ Nervous-Tea-7074
“NTA, and so nice of your mom to immediately volunteer herself for babysitting.”
“I am curious, though, what kind of stressful high-end job does your sister have that she can’t pay for childcare and still has the gall to look down on freelancers?” ~ Suspicious-Dog-5048
“I get so sick of ‘family helps each other out’ being used to excuse crappy behavior. If your mom really believes that and is not just running off at the mouth, tell her she needs to look after her grandkids then, because ‘family helps each other out’.”
“As for your sister, let her know that your unreal job pays your unreal bills and your unreal job allows you to do your unreal work at home. Tell your sister she needs an unreal job too, so she can stay home and keep her own kids. NTA.” ~ LosAngel1935
“NTA. You may work from home, but that means you’re WORKING. You’re not available to babysit during your work hours.
“And your rude sister isn’t entitled to free babysitting outside of your work hours either.” ~ teresajs
“NTA. The audacity of your sister to undervalue your work, just because her pea-sized brain can’t comprehend it, and then having the guts to ask you for unpaid childcare is appalling.”
“Plus tell your mother to help out your sister more if she is so concerned.” ~ anonybaby02
“I get so tired of hearing people complain about the responsibilities of being a parent, when they CHOSE to be a parent!”
“I get needing a break sometimes, and helping her out, but that’s just mean of her to say about your career. She’s been taking advantage of you. You don’t deserve that. NTA.” ~ Lumpy_Ear2441
“I have a big issue when the help being offered out of the kindness of one’s heart gets confused with something that is required.”
“There’s nothing in your sibling contract saying you’re required to babysit her children every single time she asks, especially if it conflicts with your schedule and she’s being a jerk.” ~ cea9248
“And she chose to have kids not just once, but 3 times. Where is the father? Why can’t he watch his kids?” ~ Mykona-1967
“Tell your sister that since you don’t have a real job, but still have bills to pay, that free babysitting is over. She’ll have to pay you like a real job. NTA.” ~ mamabear-50
“My sister, her partner and my eldest child are graphic designers. If you’re good at this job, you can earn very decently, but it involves hard work, a lot of fiddling to get the angle, the writing, the light just perfectly, a large amount of people skills to work with clients, and a lot of time.”
“Don’t let her guilt you into being her unpaid babysitter at the expense of your own work. She’s a big girl, she can figure something out. NTA.” ~ MapHazard5738
“NTA. Tell your mom she’s got to help out more now.”
“I would say something like, ‘Wow, Mom, thanks for offering since you say that “family helps each other out”, you need to help out a lot more, because I need help to no longer be babysitting so my career doesn’t suffer. Thanks for offering to do so!’.”
“And then when she says she can’t for whatever reason just say, ‘why are your excuses more important than my legitimate reasons?’.”
“Every time someone tells you that you should babysit, thank them for offering to babysit your sister’s kids and give them your sister’s phone number. Use their words against them.” ~ Dull-Field2550
“Yeah, where was your mother when your sister was making a rude comment, then demanding you babysit and doubling down on her rude comment?”
“Your mom just didn’t want to babysit, or help her daughter. She’d rather you do it. NTA.” ~ New-Link5725
“NTA—give your sister an hourly rate that’s reasonable for your work, and tell her she can pay you that if she wants you to babysit—since your work ‘isn’t real work’, she shouldn’t have any trouble paying you for it.” ~ 7hr0wn
“NTA. Your sister’s kids are her responsibility, not yours. Just because you work from home doesn’t mean you’re available to be her personal babysitter whenever she feels like it.”
“Your job may be flexible, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t working hard or that your time is any less valuable than someone working in a traditional office. It’s incredibly disrespectful for her to dismiss your work as ‘not a real job’ while expecting you to drop everything and help her out.”
“Her comments weren’t ‘harmless’—they were dismissive and undermined the value of your work and your profession. You’re well within your rights to set boundaries, especially when someone repeatedly disrespects what you do.”
“Just because you’re family doesn’t mean you have to tolerate being treated like your work and time are less important. Helping out family is one thing, but being taken advantage of is another.”
“You’re not punishing her or her kids; you’re simply refusing to be treated like your time doesn’t matter. She should find another arrangement that doesn’t involve demeaning someone else’s profession.”
“Stand your ground—you’re not in the wrong for wanting your work and time to be respected.” ~ anxiety_watermelon
They say time is money. OP’s time has value that his sister seems not to appreciate. Maybe she’ll respect a paid childcare provider’s time more since “real jobs” are a requirement for her.