Every now and then, we’ve all resorted to making threats.
Most of the time, we know that we won’t follow through with these threats, and they are mostly used as a way to shut someone up or ensure something gets done.
That being said, when our ultimate goals of these threats are not accomplished, we might find ourselves needing to make these threats a reality.
Often, much to the surprise of the one we threatened.
Redditor Equal-Airport671 often found themself frustrated when going out to dine with their wife.
As a result, the original poster (OP) ended up giving their wife an ultimatum of sorts.
An ultimatum that the OP’s wife never fully expected they would actually follow through with.
Worried they may have overstepped, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors.
“AITA for refusing to share my food with my wife after she repeatedly orders food she doesn’t like?”
The OP explained why they remained resolute with a policy they inflicted upon their wife:
“We’re a working couple in our late 20s.”
“Often come home late, around 7 PM, so we regularly dine out, like 2 times a week.”
“Our country has hundreds of dishes, so we’re never out of options.”
“I prefer ordering familiar items and try something new only when it looks too tempting.”
“I’m a sensitive eater (not picky) as I’ve strong sensory sensitivity.”
“I get nauseous easily if I eat or smell something I don’t like.”
“My wife is totally opposite.”
“Half of the time, she tries something new and orders things just by reading their names.”
“Mostly, she doesn’t even know what her order looks like.”
“And mostly, the food she tries isn’tas good as our comfort food.”
“So after 2-4 bites, she asks me to split and share each other’s food.”
“I always hesitate doing that due to my different food habits as mentioned above.”
“She’s aware of my nature but asks me to share anyway.”
“It’s been 3 times in a row, the food she ordered came out totally bad, and I had to give up on half of my food to compensate for it, as usual.”
“Being fed up, recently I clearly told her that I won’t be sharing food from now on and whatever she orders, it’s all up to her even if it doesn’t come out good.”
“She agreed in a low voice.”
“Now, yesterday, the same thing happened again, and she casually made the same gesture of sharing food.”
“I said no, mentioning our recent talk about it.”
“She had to finish it all; it spoiled her mood, and she got passive-aggressive the rest of the evening.”
“AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community was in agreement that the OP was not the a**Hole for refusing to share their food with their wife.
Everyone agreed that the OP gave their wife fair warning, and if her attempts at being adventurous continued not to pay off, then she needed to start being more careful about the food she ordered:
“NTA.”
“My husband is one who orders comfort food.”
“I try new things (why have spaghetti at an Italian place when we can have it at home).”
“The only thing is that even if I don’t like what I got, I eat it.”
“I might not finish my plate but I don’t take from someone else.”
“Please OP, stop sharing with her.”
“Tell her she is an adult and as such, can deal with the consequences of ordering something new.”-Silver_Mind_7441
“NTA.”
“This would annoy the shit out of me.”- meteors77
“NTA.”
“She’s an adult, and not behaving like one.”
“Being passive aggressive about it is also very childish.”
‘She’s not respecting you or caring for your feelings and needs anywhere near as close to as she’s expecting you to do for her.”- analogascension
“NTA.”
“I hate when people do what your wife does.”
“Stand your ground.”- Huntress145
“NTA.”
“I bet the only reason she risks ordering random food is that she always had your food as a backup.”
“If it were me and I ordered something I didn’t like, I wouldn’t dream of taking anything of my partner’s unless offered.”
“If I messed up it’s on me.”
“I’d just either wait what I ordered to avoid waste, or if it was really that inedible, I’d just make myself something.”- Leigeofgoblins
“NTA.”
“I’d be super annoyed by that.”
“Tell her you can only split if you order two dishes you both like, or she can order a backup one (and pay for it herself) if she needs to try something new every time.”- saddiebabbie
“NTA.”
“What a ridiculous waste of money.”
“She might as well order nothing, you order two of what you get and she just eat that.”
“Even little kids aren’t allowed to waste food and money like this.”
“Have you ever asked her why she’s so invested in this ridiculously wasteful habit that requires you to go partially hungry?”
“Its very obvious she sees your food as the backup for when she orders poorly.”
“And this may even be some goofy ‘test of caring/love’ that is, again, a huge waste of money and food.”
“You’re nicer than me.”
“I’d get petty randomly to show her how ridiculous it is and order the same gross thing as her or something even weirder.”
“She’ll probably go deer in headlights cause ‘uh oh, no backup’.”- Beneficial-Sort4795
“NTA.”
“You had a discussion about it.”
“She ignored it.”
“That is just bad partnership all around.”- DaVirus
“NTA.”
“I always want to try new stuff, but that is the risk.”
“Once, when traveling abroad with friends, nearly all my orders were not great.”
“Granted, it was often because there weren’t known options and my guesswork was poor.”
“The three others always felt bad for me.”
“I would just laugh, suck it up, and eat it.”
“They obviously felt bad for me though.”
“I may have also been eyeing their food.”
“Eventually, out of the kindness of their hearts, they ‘banned’ me from choosing off menu and had me select my order from something one of them had already chosen.”
“If you are a sensitive eater and she wants to share, here’s the compromise I would suggest: you pick BOTH dishes.”
“Or pick yours and then give her a couple other options she could pick that you’d be willing to share.”
“Otherwise, you’ve made it clear: you won’t be sharing your food, even if hers is not to her liking.”-littl-jinx
“NTA.”
“You set a boundary, she agreed to it, then ignored it the next time because she assumed you’d cave.”
“That’s not about food anymore, that’s about respecting what you already discussed.”
“You’re not her backup meal plan.”- Alice-003
“NTA.”
“Sounds like a dumb situation.”
“Me and my husband like to split meals when we go out as we get to so rarely.”
“But it is always, Always a negotiation on what to get, so that we’re both happy.”
“If we can’t agree (hardly ever happens) then we each pick our own dish and share a dessert.”-Drag0ns_Shad0w
“NTA.”
“She wants to try new things then that’s what she does. She can’t then expect to eat half of yours because she ordered something she didn’t like, that’s the risk.”- Churchie-Baby
“NTA.”
“Your wife is tripping.”
“Why doesn’t she just order what she’s familiar with?”
“This is such odd childish behavior.”
“And the sulking and passive aggression because you said ‘no’ needs to stop.”
“Put your foot down every time she tries pulling this bullsnickle.”
“Not to mention the amount of food and money you’re throwing away.”
“She needs to grow up and stop this nonsense.”- SheLikesToWatch_1989
“I, as your wife, like to try out new dishes as often as possible.”
“However, I also either take something I know I like or agree with my partner beforehand to split a more normal dish with me.”
“You made clear you don’t want to share NTA.”- Black_Whisper
“NTA.”
“She should respect your boundary and maybe try to take her time choosing what she wants from the menu, otherwise this’ll keep happening.”
“Another solution is for her to order the same thing as you.”- Insomniacrushh
“NTA.”
“She fafo’d that’s all.”
“She’s probably mad at herself mostly.”- tomhermans
“NTA.”
“I’m notorious for picking new foods.”
“I’m pretty adventurous and love trying new things.”
“I’m a lot better than I used to be at picking out stuff I’ll like, but sometimes it doesn’t work out.”
“I suck it up and eat it anyway.”
“That’s the risk I run trying new foods, and I have no problem with it.”
“Your wife is entirely unreasonable.”
“You were clear with her, and she obviously didn’t believe you’d hold your boundary.”
“The price for being adventurous is eating stuff you don’t like sometimes.”
“That, or she needs to order safe food as backup or make herself a freaking sandwich.”
“Hopefully now that she knows you’re serious, she’ll make better choices in the future.”- Famous-Upstairs998
We’ve all been brought up being taught that sharing is the kind thing to do.
Nor is it uncommon for people to share food when eating out.
That being said, it seems like the OP’s wife only chooses to order adventurously, knowing that she’ll have a safety net if she doesn’t like what she ordered.
Seeing as that safety net kept leaving the OP with little to nothing to eat, it seems only fair that they finally lowered this net.
Hopefully resulting in their wife making better choices about what she orders.