Weddings are a once in a lifetime event, but that doesn’t mean you need to turn your whole life and your family’s life upside down.
Some people can’t afford to drop everything and go into debt for their siblings’ weddings.
Redditor Laeigh encountered this very issue with her sister. So she turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for calling my sister a bridezilla and saying her wedding is not worth going broke over?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My older sister is getting married in the spring. She got engaged five years ago, had been set to go ahead with a pretty small wedding four years ago and then changed her mind.”
“We had outfits bought for it, invites had been sent, the whole nine yards. Then she decided she wanted bigger and better.”
“She asked me to be her only bridesmaid beforehand, before the cancellation, and after she had decided to go bigger, more expensive and with more time required of me I told her I was no longer able to fulfill the role.”
“I mention this because it is relevant for later.”
“Anyway, the wedding was planned for this summer but then Covid hit and their venue had issues with dates so they took a date for March 2022. Things have gotten so out of hand with this wedding.”
OP’s sister was very specific with her expectations.
“My sister gave us a dress code back in May, women need to wear pink or blue dresses (all women in the family of her and her husband to-be) all men need to be in a white tux, girls need to wear pink, boys need to wear white (including shoes). Then she told us we would need to bring spare shoes. I asked, why, she said they had plans that would require a change of footwear.”
“She then wanted my boys in the wedding. But that meant buying 400 dollar sets for each of them, and they’re 5 and 1!!! So we declined that. And I did say the reason was we could not afford it.”
“She was told both times. She did not want to offer help with it. Then she hit us with the real kicker.”
“She’s getting married in this castle style hotel. Very fancy, very expensive, and quite a drive from everyone’s home. But she is not booking them for a wedding suite or a wedding package for room rates.”
“She has requested both sides of the family pay for the even more luxurious hotel on the beach that cost 600 a night, per person.”
OP would need to budget for her whole family.
“And to get a suite fit for a family, because they don’t provide suitable furniture for kids to sleep on (I checked the website and called) it’s an extra 200 on top of that.”
“She wants us to stay there because she booked a photographer to take photos at 8am the morning after the wedding on the beach the hotel is on. So we would also need to be up early for photos the next day.”
“My husband and I cannot afford it!”
“It’s a huge expense. My sister said we were being unreasonable. I said she was being a bridezilla. She told me it’s her wedding, a once in a lifetime event, and I should do this for her.”
“I told her I couldn’t. She told me I should as her sister. As someone who loves her and wants to see her get married. I told her that her wedding was not worth going broke over, not when I have two kids to feed, clothe, house, etc.”
“She called me a raging bitch and told me I just didn’t want her to get married and wanted to shit over everything. That’s why I dropped out of her wedding, why I said no to the boys being in her wedding, and why I’m doing this now.”
“She said I was rude to her (calling her a bridezilla) and had shit all over our relationship saying her wedding wasn’t worth spending money on. AITA?”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“NTA- What’s her problem? You literally CANT afford it yet she’s still having an attitude. Her childish behavior just proves that she’s not worth going broke over. Who would force their guests to pay THAT much.”
“It’s ridiculous. It’s HER wedding, not yours, so you’re not obligated to pay that much.” ~ NewRedSpyder
“Yeah no, don’t go to the wedding, even if it was free.”
“She literally doesn’t care about the well being of her own nieces/nephews just to achieve her dream. She’s being incredibly selfish and is putting everyone else down just to lift herself up for only a single day.” ~ NewRedSpyder
“It’s like the bride is going for the full princess experience with this wedding and her dream is being ruined because ‘how dare you put essential expenses before my wedding, you don’t need power or groceries coz you can just go without!'”
“If you’re going to have a wedding like this you need to accept that not everyone can go and if it’s really that important to you then you cover the costs yourself. Not rage at someone for not having the funds – ESPECIALLY after the past year and a half.” ~ baybesub
The hotel prices alone are a lot.
“$800 for one night at a hotel alone, when you have a family to provide for, is bananas, especially with all the other costs the bride expects OP to shell out. If you can swing it, fine, but don’t pressure and berate people who can’t.”
“I went to a destination wedding a few years ago, I think I paid about twice that one night hotel price (so $1600) for the full all expenses for the week we were there, and maybe $80 on the wedding outfit.”
“I got a great week long sunny beach vacation with friends, in the middle of winter, with the wedding thrown in there in the middle, and none of this drama.” ~ Redundant_fox221
“That’s $800 for a single night in addition to 4 new sets of clothes, because who has a white tux just lying around at home, much less two of those in children’s sizes?”
“OP is looking at $1000+ at the bare minimum. For a single wedding day. Like what the fuck” ~ snorting_dandelions
“Isn’t it more though? It said 600$ PER PERSON. Does that include her kids too?? That’s at least 2400$ if they have 2 kids! Plus 200. For crib? And 2 tuxes for 800 total? Travel??? Her clothes and shoes!!!!! This is ridiculous. I bet they cover no food either.” ~ Muzzie720
OP should not go into financial crisis over her sister’s wedding.