Living with roommates is always a delicate balance.
Particularly when it comes to the financial aspect of it.
Ideally, everyone should contribute equally to communal items, such as toilet paper, paper towels, dish and hand soap, and cleaning supplies.
In a perfect world, everyone would also contribute equally to the rent, but not everyone agrees to this.
Redditor mikziggy_14 shared an apartment with her girlfriend and one other roommate.
The trio initially came up with an equitable division of the rent and bills.
However, the third roommate eventually contested the amount she should be paying for the apartment.
A suggestion neither the original poster (OP) nor her girlfriend was willing to agree to.
Wondering if she was being unreasonable, the OP took to the subReddit "Would I Be The A**hole" (WIBTA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
"WIBTA If I made my roommate pay rent?"
The OP explained why her roommate wanted to lower the amount of rent she owed:
"Hi there!"
"I really just need some clarity on this situation."
"So any advice is really helpful."
"So to set the stage, I (Marie, 22 F[emale]), my girlfriend (Aspen, 21 F), and our roommate (Mia, 20 F) have lived in a 2-bed 2-bathroom apartment in our college town since April."
"It's in a decent neighborhood ,and rent is about $1,400 a month plus utilities."
"We split rent 3 ways, but because I make a little bit more money, I pay a little more."
"So the split usually ends of being 500/450/450 and utilities equally."
"The conflict is that Mia feels that she shouldn't pay rent when she isn't here during school breaks."
"So over the summer (June-August) she didn't pay rent or utilities, but her stuff was still here."
"Aspen and I didn't want to make it a fight, so we just paid the rent and left it alone."
"However, now that Christmas break is coming up, she texted our group chat and said she doesn't think she should pay rent for December because she is going home on the 13th and won't be back till January 15th."
"I don't think that it's fair, though, because again, her stuff is here, it's still her apartment."
"I understand that it might be difficult for her because she won't be working over the break, but that's not my fault."
"Aspen and I also have money issues (vet bills, car maintenance, etc), and I don't think she should be able to just pick and choose when she pays."
"So Reddit, WIBTA if I made her pay rent?"
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for making Mia pay rent even when she was away.
Everyone agreed that Mia simply didn't understand how a lease worked, and by her logic, if she did not want to pay rent during her time away, then she should also move all her things out during that time as well.
"NTA - this is not how the world works."
"Why should you and Aspen pay Mia's portion of the rent when she's not there?"
"What if all three of you went home for winter break?"
"Would no one be obligated to pay rent?"
"I'm sure the landlord would love that."
"Mia's request is absurd."- eury13
"If that's her mailing address and her stuff is there, she pays rent."
"That's like having a car payment and telling the bank that you shouldn't have to make payments if you don't drive the car."
"Ridiculous."
"The issue is that she's taking up the room, and if she weren't there, you'd have a different roommate paying rent."
"You could conceivably let her slide on paying utilities if you wanted a compromise, since she's not there to use the water/power, but I wouldn't."
"NTA."- JennyM8675309
"NTA."
"That's a lot of entitlement."
"Tell her to move her stuff out so you can rent it to someone else while she's away or else she pays rent."- vt2022cam
"NTA."
"I would also make her pay you guys back for the summer months that she didn't pay."- Iridecent-Cold-Fire
"NTA."
"She doesn't seem to understand how rent works."
"Explain to her, she's free to stop paying rent as soon as she moves out and takes all her stuff."-bmw5986
"NTA."
"If she is on the lease/has her stuff in the apartment, or is coming back, then she pays rent."
"If she were renting on her own, then she would have to pay rent when she went home."
"Same rules apply when you have roommates."
"Also, your salary is irrelevant to the percentage of rent you pay."- General-Toe-8686
"NTA."
"That's not how this works."
"That's not how any of this works."- law-and-horsdoeuvres
"Ywnbta!"
"However, I doubt you will convince her to pay through a normal and logical conversation."
"She won't move her stuff out because she feels entitled to the space."
"So teach her another way."
"Okay Roommate 3, we are about to list your room for rent."
"What are the exact dates you will be gone?"
"Oh, and take out anything valuable so it doesn't get stolen!"
"What do you mean we 'cant' rent 'your' room?"
"If you're not paying rent, it isn't your room!"
"We aren't getting shorted again."
"If you don't pay, you don't have a room."
"We paid three months of your rent already this year."
"We will rent 'the' room out permanently if we have to, but we aren't paying any more rent for you!"-fromhelley
"NTA."
"It's still the apartment she lives in, she still needs to pay for it."- Iridecent-Cold-Fire
"When I went on a work tri,p I didn't use my house or my car for a month."
"Still had to pay for both."
"NTA."- Individual_Check_442
"NTA."
"She needs to pay her rent."
"It's not optional, and that includes the summer months when she's not there."
"She can arrange for someone to sublet (with your approval of whoever it is and if your lease allows it), but that's as far as it goes."
"Mia needs to live in the dorms if she can't pay rent like an adult."- Peep_Power_77
"NTA."
"Tell her to please take all of her stuff with her if she's not paying."- browneyedredhead1968
"This is completely ridiculous."
"She rented an apartment."
"Not a hotel."
"What the hell does she think will happen when she eventually gets her own place?"
"Her landlord will say sure, no worries on the December check?"
"Please ask her this question."
"Dying to know what she thinks would transpire."
"20 years old is way too old for this behavior."
"Tell her that she can come and go as she pleases—and she's still on the hook for her 1/3 of the rent regardless of where in the world she is."
"NTA."- Superb-Dream1626
"Tell her to move her stuff for the time she is gone so that you can sublet the room."
"That if she won't pay rent, you need to be able to make up that money."
"She is being an entitled a**hole."
"NTA."- Quick-Possession-245
"NTA."
"If her stuff is there, she's there."
"She can pay or move out."- RoyallyOakie
"Are you joking that is f*cking insane."
"If this were a Judge Judy episode, her things being there means she lives there, and she needs to pay for it."
"If her stuff wasn't there, you'd get someone to fill the spot."
"Stop being a pushover, YWNBTA."- iraven_mccoy
"NTA."
"She's delusional about how rent works."
"If she wants to not pay rent, she has to take all of her stuff and not be mad if her place is given to someone else."
"She has to pay rent for her stuff to stay and for the knowledge that she has a place to come back to."- Camping_Queen_13
"NTA."
"She still has the option to use the room during that time."
"But you could all discuss renting her room out to another friend/traveller to pay her share if that's something you're comfortable with."
"It's like if she bought a pie."
"She doesn't get to return the pie a week later because she didn't eat it."
"She purchased the option of eating the pie."
"If she wants her money back from the pie, she needs to resell it, which is time and effort."
"As for utilities, if you wanted to be super nice, you could check the bills to see how much the base rates are (ongoing connection, bill fees, etc) and charge her a third of that."
"You're not doing her any favors allowing her to live in this made-up world of hers."- TeddyBear181
It is frustrating to be paying for space when we're not using it.
Unfortunately, that's just how renting a space works, at least on an annual lease.
If Mia gives the OP a hard time about this and chooses to find another living situation, she might be surprised to find that just about every other potential roommate will be equally uninterested in agreeing to her proposed arrangement.















Humiliated Redditor Ditches Friend's Birthday After She Publicly Mocks Them In Front Of Everyone
Fake people tend to show their true colors during pivotal moments, like weddings and major celebrations.
But when they want an audience to hurt someone else, it takes total sense that they would be called out in front of everyone, as agreed by members of the "Am I Overreacting?" (AIO) subreddit.
Redditor HollyyGinger went to their close friend's birthday party, expecting to have a good time and celebrate their loved one's special day.
But when their close friend made several mocking comments about them, and the party laughed along with them, the Original Poster (OP) took that as an indication of the state of their friendship and left the birthday party early.
They asked the sub:
The OP was excited to celebrate their close friend's birthday.
"One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and I was genuinely excited to go."
"I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift, and even rearranged some plans because I wanted to be there for her."
But the birthday dinner did not go at all how the OP expected.
"During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone."
"At first, I laughed along because I didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday."
"But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story I had told her privately, and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive' sometimes."
"People were laughing, and I tried to act like it didn't bother me, but honestly, I felt pretty humiliated."
The OP tried to ask their friend to change the direction of the rest of the party.
"I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening."
"She rolled her eyes and said I was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking."
"I went back to the table for a while because I really didn't want to ruin her birthday."
"But then she made another joke about me, so I decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone, and went home without making a scene."
The OP's friend tried to blame them for how the evening turned out.
"The next morning, she texted me, saying she was hurt that I left early and that several people noticed."
"She said that I made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was 'just having fun.' But her having fun was more of a public embarrassment to me."
"Now I feel guilty, because it was her birthday, and maybe I could have just ignored it for another hour or two."
"I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I had specifically asked her to stop."
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
Some reassured the OP that she didn't have to stay at a party where she didn't feel welcome.
"She was having fun. You were not having fun."
"You’re not overreacting. You told her it was hurting you, and she kept doing it because hurting you was entertaining for her. She is not a good friend." - Dunquinn-
"I remember when I was really little, a bunch of adults were laughing at me as I cried."
"I cried to my mom, 'Stop laughing at me,' to which she replied, 'We aren’t laughing at you; we're laughing with you,' while giggling."
"My response was something I stand by to this day: 'Then why am I the only one crying?!'"
"It’s only funny if the person who’s being teased is laughing too. You weren’t laughing. It wasn’t funny; it was cruel. NOR." - XSmartypants
"She’s a bully. It wasn’t 'more like 'it was publicly embarrassing. It WAS publicly embarrassing."
"Then she tells you that SHE is embarrassed because YOU left early. That's bulls**t."
"NOR. Drop her." - WTH_JFG
"NOR. They make jokes about someone's privacy to humiliate that person. Anyone who would use info that was shared in confidence to get a laugh is an abuser. You don't do that, especially to a close friend, without the intent to hurt that person." - BungenessKrabb
"Would it have been fun if you did the same? Start telling her darkest secrets?"
"She made you into a punchline for other people’s entertainment."
"You told her to stop, and she didn’t; now she’s the victim?"
"NOR."
"But also, some people need to feel it to believe it. I hope you go to the next gathering with a few stories of your own and don’t let her rewrite the narrative." - beached_not_broken
"I’ve had it happen by my 'best friend' at the time, only it was in a professional setting event. Very personal details only she knew, all spilled for her amusement, embarrassing me in front of colleagues."
"NOR, OP. As you did, I left the gathering earlier than expected. My 'friend' called the next day asking why I left so early. I told her what she had said and done and how humiliated I felt."
"Her 'apology' was that flippant version that shows no remorse, like, 'Well, I’m sorry you feel that way.'"
"Over the subsequent years, she managed to alienate and burn bridges with most of those same people we were gathered with."
"I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Anyone who thinks you were 'too sensitive' has no empathy and 'friends' like that don’t deserve your time." - Hungry_Tank9182
"NOR. She was being a jerk to you, and she was expecting you to just take it and not say anything or defend yourself."
"Because they think it's sooo funny to mock others, but I bet if the roles were reversed, she would be offended and upset."
"Honestly, you deserve better friends. I'm sorry you had to deal with this."
"I would've left and blocked her." - Cryslove
Others urged the OP to stop thinking about the event and let that friendship go.
"That was the point of her fun! Humiliating you with an audience!"
"Sharing something deeply personal, told in confidence? Immediate dealbreaker."
"She is not (and likely never was) your friend. Friends do not treat friends with such disrespect. Block her, and go no contact. She brings nothing good to your life, and she’s not worthy of your energy and time."
"NOR." - MizPeachyKeen
"It’s called bullying. She is not your friend. Friends don’t humiliate their true friends, or tell them 'they are too sensitive.'"
"That is what bullies do. She keeps you around to put you down and make herself look or feel better."
"Her actions, attitude, and behavior are those of an immature high schooler. She could actually be jealous of you and not want one or all of the following: you to succeed, have more friends, feel better about yourself, look better, etc."
"Please slowly distance yourself, find new hobbies and activities with more mature, well-rounded, healthy people." - Freeling_Fab_U_lous
"How DARE you spoil her fun; didn't you know that part of your gift was letting her make you the butt of her jokes? (sarcastic comment)"
"What an awful person. No one should need to put others down to raise themselves up. She doesn't deserve the title of friend, to be honest. You showed much more grace than I would have managed." - tphatmcgee
"She was using you as her punching bag to make the others attending laugh. Probably thinking you’d just take it. That’s not a good friend. NOR." - Additional-Start9455
"'Someone I trusted kept embarrassing me after I asked them to stop.' NOR."
"First, you shouldn't have had to ask her to stop because a friend wouldn't have started in the first place. One of her 'jokes' was about you being sensitive, so she knew you didn't like it and did it anyway."
"Second, you asked her privately to stop, because you didn't want to embarrass her. Think about that. You didn't want to embarrass her. But she couldn't show you the same consideration, even after being asked to stop."
"That's not how I treat my friends, and I suspect that's not how you treat your friends, either." - calminthedark
"I would have answered her text that she's a s**tty friend and to f**k off. You have class."
"I probably would have made a comment at dinner that I asked her to stop with the insults."
"NOR. You did everything right." - Particular-King218
The subReddit was disappointed on the OP's behalf that a friendship they were so committed to, they were excited to celebrate their friend's birthday and even helped plan the event, came apart at their expense, and on very public terms.
If the friend didn't want to be "embarrassed," maybe she should have thought about how she was embarrassing others first.