Living with other people takes compromise. But, some people can’t distinguish between a boundary and a ridiculous ask.
Redditor throwFitness9935 encountered this very issue with their roommate. So they turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for moral judgment.
“AITA for doing workouts in the common living area? My roommate says she can’t feel comfortable in her own home.”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I live with two other roommates. One of them moved out and I got a new roommate call her Britney.”
“Now a quick layout, our apartment has three bedrooms and a common area, we also all share the same bathroom. Now that gyms are back open I generally go to the gym but some of the days I just do a workout in the living room.”
“We have a Roku TV so I just put on a youtube video and watch there.”
“Well, Britney has asked me to not workout when she is home, I was like was I being too loud?”
“She is like ‘no, but then says that me working out makes her feel uncomfortable.'”
“She says that when someone is going out of their way to avoid having the body she has (Britney is obese) that it makes her feel hated. She then goes onto say that my Stevia in the kitchen also makes her feel bad.”
“I told her, that I will try to be more quiet when I workout but its my shared space too. She was pretty angry about this.”
“Our other roommate Garret doesn’t care, and for what its worth he is never in the house anyways.”
Redditors gave their opinions on the situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Most Redditors agreed OP was not the a**hole.
“Shared space is shared space. I am afraid Britney needs to work on her insecurities, instead of blaming everyone around her for trying to do what THEY enjoy.” ~ No-Jellyfish-1208
“Exactly. Unless there was an established rule, agreed upon by all tenants, against working out in the common area, she needs to get over it.” ~ Techsupportvictim
“Also, there are dozens of reasons to exercise that have nothing to do with how your body looks: better sleep, better blood pressure, heart and lung function, better mental health, preventing cancer and osteoporosis, and the list goes on and on. The assumption that the ONLY reason OP would exercise is to “avoid looking like her” is a pretty big assumption.” ~ Kathrynlena
“This!!! I took up running (via treadmill) semi-recently to help manage some adhdish symptoms (no diagnosis I’m doing my best to deal with my issues though) and improve my breathing and stamina because despite being a twig I was really unfit.”
“Exercise also helps as a preventative measure for things like type two diabetes, something I’m a little concerned about as my grandmother died due to complications with it, and my dad currently has it.”
“My calves looking great is a bonus to the exercise, not the point of it.” ~ Notquite_Caprogers
“Exactly! I started running when I was SUPER thin because I was so stressed I couldn’t sleep at night.”
“I figured out that if I went for a long walk/run, then showered right before bed, I would actually fall asleep. It had nothing to do with how I looked, and I actually gained a bit of weight because of it.”
“Now I exercise because I still have massive amounts of anxiety and exercising regularly manages it really well.” ~ Kathrynlena
Most people agreed it is OP’s apartment as well, so she can exercise if she wants to.
“Exactly this. Unless OP is totally monopolizing the common space and working out there all the time, then there shouldn’t be a problem. They should be able to work out, watch tv, read, whatever, as long as the other people have equal access to the space, and nothing inappropriate is happening.” ~ enjoysbeerandplants
“Could you imagine if you saw Brittany eating a bunch of donuts and told her “it makes you uncomfortable bc she’s going out of her way to avoid having your body.” Her insecurities shouldn’t affect your life.” ~ AblazedSapphire
“Yeah, as a fit person who is pretty strict about my diet… I honestly would have been a bit of asshole back in that scenario and just said, ‘well in that case, your donuts trigger me and seeing you sit down in the common spaces is uncomfortable because you are avoiding being my body type.'” ~ OddIsopod1925
“I’ve been told that I was making someone feel uncomfortable about their weight because I only ordered a salad when we went out to dinner as a group. Luckily they were met with a bunch of ‘????’ reactions from everyone else and I didn’t have to defend my dietary choices.” ~ adjective____noun
“It’s just so sad because that behavior is avoidance, not owning it. It’s blaming other people instead of processing some admittedly very difficult emotions.”
“Salads don’t insult people — lettuce can’t talk. Stevia doesn’t make her feel like you hate her. They hate themselves. And that sucks. But you aren’t them nor their therapists, so there is nothing you can do to fix it.” ~ greenwrayth
“Oh, ffs. NTA. I’m a fat woman and I exercise a lot. Not to avoid having a fat body, but to move towards having a strong and healthy body (which might still be fat) that I enjoy living in, and to deal with my depression and anxiety.”
“But even if I wanted to be thinner, that’s my prerogative, not a judgment on someone else.”
“You are entitled to work out, to want to make your body whatever you want to make your body into, and it’s got nothing to do with her. Ask her if she had a Prius and you bought a pickup truck (or vice versa), would she feel uncomfortable because you wanted to drive a car that wasn’t like hers?”
“Would she be bothered if you had the same color hair but you dyed yours? If you both were nearsighted but she wore glasses and you chose contacts?”
“Her body is hers and she gets to decide what to do with it. Yours is yours and she needs to respect that you have that same right, too. She isn’t going to always make the same choices you do, and that’s fine.” ~ Katja1236
OP should be able to exercise when she feels like it.