Serving tables isn’t easy, especially if you’ve never worked in hospitality.
It is a strenuous, sometimes cry-inducing job.
People work really hard for every penny.
And yes, some people actually leave pennies as tips. Just pennies.
So it can be even more stressful when one has to fight to get a table they know will tip well.
Case in point…
Redditor Opossum-38-Red wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA For Causing My Coworker To Lose A 500$ Tip?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am currently in my senior year of college.”
“I am working a serving job at a mid-level restaurant (bills typically 100 for drinks, food, appetizers, dessert for 2 people).”
“I have been working here for 10 months.”
“My parents usually come in every Friday with my uncle and aunt.”
“They are usually sat in my section, and they tip me extremely well (~200 bill and 100 tip) just because they’re my family.”
“My manager has no issue with this as I do not give them extras/more attention, I just treat them like a normal customer.”
“He is aware of the tip and my parents will usually order drinks at the bar and tip the bartender as well, so they spend a lot here.”
“He knows them and talks with them when they are here because he appreciates their business.”
“Unfortunately my manger is out because his wife is sick so he is on leave for 6 months.”
“We have a temporary manager named Barb.”
“Barb is very strict and follows the rules.”
“Barb has been here for 2 weeks and has seen my parents twice and she asked me about them the second time.”
“When I told her it was my parents, she made a weird face.”
“I should also note I have a coworker named Tina who hates that I serve my parents and get a huge tip.”
“She was always complaining to my old manager but he never cared.”
“Cut to last Friday my parents come in.”
“This was essentially my cousin’s engagement dinner and also my birthday is soon, so I know they were planning on leaving me a huge tip as a present.”
“I haven’t seen my cousin or my grandpa in awhile and they were all excited to be served by me.”
“I was talking about this all week and talking about how I knew I was getting $500 as a tip because it’s my birthday soon.”
“The hostesses knows them as well and goes to sit them in my section.”
“Barb immediately intercepts this and tells the hostess to sit them in Tina’s section.”
“Not only was this my parent’s but my aunt and uncle, cousin and her b[oy]f[riend], and my grandpa.”
“I ask Barb if I can serve my family and she says she is sick of me being unprofessional, and I am hogging the tips away from the other servers who deserve it as well.”
“Tina sees this and is very happy.”
“My family gets sat in her section however my dad asks if I can serve them, but Barb says ‘OP has some other responsibilities to tend to and wouldn’t be able to give you her full attention.’”
“My parents are confused and I shrug behind my manager.”
“My mom goes to find me half way into their meal, and I tell her what happened.”
“Cut to the end their bill is around $350~. And Tina is left 65 as a tip.”
“My parents leave and after the restaurant closes Tina corners me and screams at me that I cost her $500.”
“Barb steps in and accuses me of telling my parents not to tip Tina.”
“I try to explain this was a present and Barb scoffs and calls me a liar.”
“I left and I don’t work until tomorrow.”
‘I feel like an a**hole because I bet she was really excited to get the huge tip.”
“I am afraid to go back in as people have been talking about it.”
“So AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“But… but… but they DID tip Tina??”
“It’s obvious that they tip you better because you’re family, why the heck would Tina expect to be treated the same? NTA.” ~ PotterOtterSpotter
“Right?! How insane is Barb to think that OP’s PARENTS would tip another waiter what they tip OP.”
“These are clearly just doting family members.”
“They probably only go to that restaurant because their kid works there.”
“If she pushes this nonsense attitude, she is just costing the restaurant business.” ~ Born-Constant-7913
“Unfortunately, if Tina or Barb never had caring parents, they might be unable to understand that the family tips OP to encourage and support her, and not because they always tip like that.”
“Both of them show signs that they are jealous of the interest and attention OP has.”
“It is not unprofessional to serve your family, as you said, it’s bringing in business.” ~ lellyla
“I think OP should be careful about bragging so much about these tips because you’re right.”
“I’m sure she’s not reporting it as income and if her coworkers want to make it really difficult they could probably report her to the IRS and she could end up getting audited.”
“I don’t know if any of her coworkers would be this vindictive but as that genuinely assumed OP’s family was gonna give the other waitress essentially her birthday gift they’re clearly not that logical.”
“Honestly OP, I don’t think you’re the AH for costing your coworker a big tip because let’s be real it’s not actually a tip, it’s just your parents giving you money at work.”
“That being said bragging to your coworkers about how much money your parents are giving you is pretty tacky and definitely pushes into AH territory.”
“I doubt all your coworkers have parents wealthy enough to just randomly hand over a couple hundred dollars just cause they stopped by your work and you brought them their food.”
“Sorry but an exceptional tip is supposed to be based on exceptional service.”
“You’re not going above and beyond to earn these extra tips they’re just giving you extra because you’re their daughter.”
“I mean to put this in another context; if one of your coworkers was getting huge tips from some male customers just cause he had the hots for her, and he always requested being sat in her section and she was constantly going on and on about how much money he gave her, you’d get sick of it pretty quick right?”
“It’s pretty much the same thing.”
“I get why you want to wait on your family.”
“I get why they tip You more (my family would do the same thing) but you don’t need to rub your coworkers faces in the fact that you have access to all this extra income.”
“So for this specific question NTA but I’d really knock off the bragging about the tips.”
“I’m actually surprised your boss hasn’t made it to where everyone has to share their tips- too many more complaints from your coworkers and that’ll likely be the way it goes.” ~ acegirl1985
“Agree. OP is NTA, but why should her bd gift be a tip that’s going through the work terminal?”
“A lot of restaurants tip out, but it sounds like that doesn’t happen here.”
“They can of course tip her well, but a bday gift should be separate than a tip for services rendered that’s causing issues at her work place.”
“And yes, her coworkers are in the wrong, not her, but it is a weird way to give a gift.”
“ETA… OP was in the wrong to talk about the big tip she was getting all week with her coworkers. That’s really inconsiderate and immature.” ~ Professional-Two-403
“Seriously. I was a server.”
“My parents would come in, I would serve them, they would tip well mostly as a little joke (I never expected a tip, I lived with them and they provided most of my needs).”
“And because by giving them extra attention I probably lost a few dollars on other tables I could have been heaping that attention on to instead.”
“My coworkers also LOVED it when family showed up.”
“Everyone would visit the table to say how much we liked working with the related server, the managers would stop by for a drink and send some appetizers.”
“Sometimes the very friendly servers would go share the appetizers with a coworker’s family.”
“It was a little something different that broke up our night.”
“That is how a functional restaurant deals with family.” ~ waterfountain_bidet
OP responded…
“I don’t expect them to tip!”
“I don’t live at home but they’ve been extremely generous and pay my phone bill and help me when I need it.”
“My coworkers like my family as well, they usually spend an hour at the bar and tip the hostesses.”
“My managers love my parents and have even met the owner a few times.”
Reddit continued…
“You need to stop talking about money with your coworkers.”
“This is also going to get tip sharing to be a thing.”
“You’re NTA, but you put yourself at risk if people know your parents were in and you have cash on you… or at least people think you do.”
“Let them give you that cash in birthday cards in the privacy of your house.”
“Or just drop it in a checking account.”
“That’s what my family used to do.” ~ 84unicorn
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
It’s a sticky situation for sure.
But your family is allowed to leave you whatever they wish.
Hopefully, this can just blow over.