“Re-nesting” as an adult in your 20s can be a pretty tough transition.
Your parents still see you as their child, and so the old habits of enforcing house rules, general micromanagement and financial strings attached all begin to creep back into the picture.
A recent post on the “Am I the A**hole (AITA)” subReddit explored one particular situation where those growing pains really show their colors.
The Original Poster (OP), Fast_Experience_6847, got right into the key details with the post’s title.
“AITA for telling my parents I will have sex in their house whether they like it or not?”
OP began with some background information.
“I [22-year-old female] have a generally good relationship with my parents. We all get along bu they are a bit more conservative than me.”
I recently decided to move back to their city for a job offer that I took.”
“My parents haven’t been doing too well financially and asked me if I wanted to move back in with them for a while. I figured why not, I pay part of the mortgage and in exchange don’t need to do as many chores as I would usually have to do.”
Then a new development arose.
“About six months ago I started dating my now boyfriend. He lives a few kilometres out of town so it makes sense for him to stay the night a my place and not the other way round.
“The other day my parents approached me and told me that they don’t want him to stay over anymore because they don’t want their daughter to have sex in their house.”
OP couldn’t believe the line being drawn.
“I was a bit taken aback and told them that I’m sorry but I’m an adult and it’s not like we are loud or anything.”
“They basically said their house their rules to which I just laughed because I pay 40% of the mortgage payment and if it wasn’t for me the house would likely not be theirs anymore.”
“So I told them the my house my rules bs wouldn’t fly with me and if it bothered them so much I’d just get my own place like right now but I certainly will not be told when I can and can’t have sex.”
For OP, that was hardly convincing.
“Now they’re upset because they think I’m trying to blackmail them but I’m like mate?? I’m paying for this place so I’ll fu** whoever and whenever I want.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
Most Redditors agreed with OP’s firm stance.
They cited the financial variable as a key factor.
“NTA Normally I would say don’t have sex in your parents home…but you’re paying 40% of the mortgage, so they have kind of lost the high ground.” — geegeepark
“NTA. This living arrangement was at your parent’s request because they needed help paying their mortgage.”
“In this scenario you aren’t their daughter, you’re their housemate who is paying 40% of the mortgage. If they continue to give you grief, move out.” — Consistent-Leopard71