Pregnancy cravings are a very common occurrence.
They can vary widely from person to person.
They have been tied to hormonal changes, increased nutrient needs, and heightened senses of taste and smell many pregnant people experience.
A woman whose cravings have her eating the same thing every day turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Readywhipped_velvet asked:
“AITA for feeding my family a fish dinner while I eat steak and potatoes?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“I am three months pregnant, and almost every day, I’ve been craving steak and sour cream baked potatoes.”
“I never really cared for steak. I’m more of a chicken fingers and fries girlie, but I’m guessing the baby must’ve loved steak in its past life because that is literally all I crave when I don’t even care for it.
“Today, I made my family baked pizza spaghetti, with fried catfish, a lunchmeat salad (salad with chopped deli meat), and dinner rolls.”
“I, of course, am making the same dish I’ve been eating almost every day these last few months. I pretty much make two separate meals each night for my cravings.”
“Last night, after I served the kids and was getting ready to make my fiancé’s plate, he expressed he wanted steak and potatoes like me. Mind you, he was aware of the menu because I have my meals planned the night before.”
“I told him I only had that one steak for me. He said, ‘Well, we can share’.”
“I politely told him that I will need to eat all of my food since I am eating for tw,o and this is all I have for the night, knowing I’ll most likely still be hungry whilst you guys have a meal you can come back to for seconds.”
“I am now, in his words, a ‘selfish woman using pregnancy as an excuse to be selfish’. I asked what’s different about today than all the other days when I’ve been literally eating the same sh*t almost every day with no complaints?”
“He said nothing but shook his head and said, ‘It’s the principle bae,’ and just walked off. We’ve barely spoken since. Just a dry good morning and goodbyes.”
“AITA?”
“Maybe if he expressed that he wanted the same thing as me, I would have prepared for it, but he literally always eats what I make. I didn’t know I had to be a mind reader.”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I’m not sure if I’m even the a**hole. I’m so confused on what’s going on.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole (NTA).
“NTA, but you might want to get your iron levels checked. Craving red meat can be a sign of low iron.” ~ Special_Hedgehog8368
“Same. I also seem to have a hidden extra stomach for the iron cravings. I usually eat several small meals throughout the day.”
“I’m basically on a Hobbit diet. I’m normally not able to finish a full adult portion in one sitting, but when I’m in STEAK MODE (title awarded by my husband), I can suddenly inhale massive amounts of food and still have room for dessert.”
“Like my go-to is a 12oz ribeye, a literal mixing bowl sized ceasar salad with as much leafy romaine as possible, a whole bowl of green beans, then I chase it all down with half a tub of raspberry sorbet.”
“After that, I’m hungry again two hours later. It’s insane.”
“I read this post to my husband and he went pale just thinking about asking me to share my steak while I’m in steak mode.” ~ TAforScranton
“NTA. You’re already making two separate meals every single night to satisfy your cravings while still feeding the entire family. That alone is more than enough.”
“The fact that this man had a whole a** meal in front of him, one that you took the time to plan and cook, yet decided to sulk and guilt-trip you because he suddenly wanted what was on your plate is ridiculous.”
“If ‘the principle’ is so important to him, then he can get his a** in the kitchen and cook his own damn steak next time.”
“You are growing a whole human inside you. You don’t have time to be dealing with a grown man acting like a pouty toddler who didn’t get the same Happy Meal toy.” ~ ParkAlexis
“NTA. He’s a jerk of a man that can’t help his pregnant wife make dinner. Or at least tell you the night before that he would like to have the steak and potato as well.”
“So the selfish person here is him, because you’re doing all the work plus raising the kids and he’s bitching that he can’t have steak and potato.”
“He can get up off his a** and make it himself…” ~ Future-Nebula74656
“Nope, he’s just being a d*ck.”
“If he wants steak, he can use his words (before dinner is ready, ideally before the shopping is done) and ask for steak.”
“Wanting to take half the meal off his pregnant fiancée is what’s selfish.”
“NTA, hopefully this isn’t a sign of whats to come.” ~ shontsu
“NTA. If he wanted to join you in having steak, he needed to tell you when you had the ability to make more.”
“If you’ve been having steak almost every night, he knows that you’ve been eating that a lot, and he could have told you when you were meal planning that he would like one, too.”
“He’s not necessarily wrong for asking if there was enough to share. If he was smart, he really should have done that when you were starting to prep to cook at the latest so you could adjust how much you were making of each dinner option to have enough if you had enough ingredients (and that way, if you didn’t have a second steak you could cook, he’d have had some time to either adjust his own expectations and try to be satisfied with what you were making for everybody else or go get another steak so there would be enough to fix him one, too).”
“But once he knew there wasn’t enough to share, he needed to shrug and say oh well, and eat what he knew you planned last night.” ~ KaliTheBlaze
“You cooked a meal he knew about in advance. He knew that you would be having steak (as you have been), and he knew that he would be having fish even before you started cooking… it’s selfish to wait so long to let you know that he changed his mind and to beg for half your plate as if he can’t very well cook some steak for himself.”
“Also, if he had an issue with you eating ‘better’ than him, he should have made that clear beforehand, not after months of you eating steak with no problem.”
“He’s in the wrong. NTA at ALL.” ~ teawithmochi
“It sounds like this has been simmering for awhile. You eat steak every night, which is a luxury for most people, while cooking more mundane food for the rest of the family.”
“Have you ever asked your fiancé if he’d like steak too? I don’t know what ‘baked pizza spaghetti with fried catfish’ is, but I would choose steak every time. I bet he would too.
“You’re three months pregnant. Your additional nutritional needs are minimal. Just because you are craving something doesn’t mean you have to eat it, and it certainly doesn’t mean you are the only one who gets to eat it.”
“Your fiancé certainly could have handled his frustration better, but pregnancy is not an excuse to be self-centered. He’s your partner. He likes steak. Feed him steak sometimes, too!” ~ magicienne451
“NTA. If he’s so worried about ‘principles,’ maybe he shouldn’t be calling the woman growing his child selfish for feeding said child. I don’t know, just a thought.” ~ Fun_Effective6846
“She’s been doing this often …all he had to do was open his mouth with his big boy words and say that he also wanted steak. She probably has a couple ready to go if she’s eating them almost every dinner, so she could have made two if he communicated like a grown @ss man is expected to.”
“She’s already making multiple meals at a time, maybe he can get off his a** and help….or, I don’t know, actually say something out loud to the woman cooking about if he wants a meal change.”
“You don’t decide to spitefully ask for her to have half a meal while eating for two because he childishly wants to make a point or was just too ignorant to speak up before/while the meal was being prepared.”
“She isn’t his mind-reading personal chef.” ~ Trinity0748
“NTA. He’s not incapable or an infant. He can open his mouth and ask if he can also have a steak BEFORE they are literally sitting down to eat dinner.”
“He’s also capable of buying and making his own steak instead of being pissy and childish.” ~ ScroochDown
As you’re sitting down to eat isn’t the time to inform the cook you want a menu change.
If OP’s fiancé wants a steak, they could also cook their own.