There can be little that is more stressful than going grocery shopping.
The frustrations when they unexpectedly don’t have the one thing you’re looking for, dealing with the literal freezing cold in the frozen section, and of course, waiting in line to check out.
Choosing the right check out line is always a gamble, and the amount of time you wait can often be determined by the shopper ahead of you in line.
Redditor UrbanBeaner recently drew the short straw when checking out while grocery shopping, resulting in their making a request to the shopper in front of them.
While the shopper did decide to grant the favor, they let their displeasure of the original poster (OP)’s actions be known for all the store to hear.
Wondering if they truly did anything wrong, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for asking a woman with a child to cut in front of her at the store when I had one item?”
The OP shared how they made what they thought was a reasonable request to the shopper in line ahead of them, and the shopper in front had plenty to say afterwards.
“So I was at Aldi buying a bunch of bananas and just as I was getting in line a woman with a child and at least 30 items beat me to the only register operating.”
“I asked the woman politely if I could go in front as I had one item and I was in a rush.”
“She said ‘sure’.”
“I went in front of her and she sarcastically continued ‘because I have a child and that’s not important’.”
“I asked nicely if she wanted me to step back behind her and she said no very rudely.”
“She then proceeded to rant about ‘this world’s going to the men’.”
“’I’m going to post about this on Facebook’.”
“’I wish I had a camera to record this’ etc.”
“Another woman comes from behind and the angry mother lets her cut her stating that I ‘cut her in line’ in turn that woman started yelling at me and making a whole scene.”
“I just wanted some bananas and got drama.”
“Had there been self check-out I would’ve gone there but I was in a rush and meant no disrespect.”
“I had thought asking would be innocuous but apparently not?”
There was no one behind us, she had not unloaded her items when I had asked and she left her cart several times to get more items on the side.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
While the Reddit community was somewhat divided, Neither the OP nor the woman in front of them in line received much sympathy in the end, who found they were equally at fault.
While everyone agreed that the woman’s reaction was rude and unnecessary, they also felt that the OP shouldn’t have asked to cut her in line, and should have waited for her to offer instead.
“Yeah, you asked, but it sure doesn’t sound like you waited for her to finish her answer before you bolted ahead.”
“Registers are first come, first serve.”
“If someone offers to let you go ahead of them, that’s one thing.”
“But to ask is kinda presumptuous.”
“Is your time really so much more valuable than hers that you couldn’t just wait your turn politely?”
“Because let’s be honest, asking to cut ahead of her is basically telling her that your time is more valuable.”- puppyfarts99
“Her for her not just simply saying no, and everything after.”
“You for even asking to cut in front.”
“I don’t even understand how this is a thing.”
“People, myself included, will occasionally offer which is nice.”
“But asking is just an AH move in all but the most severe situations.”- Significant-Ad7390
“This may be an unpopular opinion here, but I think that in a scenario like this, the person in front is supposed to ‘invite’ you to go ahead first, if they want to.”
“It’s a courtesy.”
“Just barging through and ‘demanding’ it is kind of pushy.”- tryandbereasonable96
“When you asked politely, where were you?”
“Already in partway in front of her, or politely in line behind her?”
“No matter how polite your words are, if your body language is comes across as pushy, you’re being rude.”
“Maybe you just ran into a woman who was looking for an excuse to be angry.”
“Or, maybe you’re tone deaf when it comes to norms about ‘asserting’ yourself.”
“Or maybe you’re the kind of person who is so used to getting special treatment because other people are conditioned to be polite that he doesn’t even realize he’s taking advantage.”
“You for cutting, and her for not learning the word ‘no’.”- trustyminotaur
“NTA for asking, as long as you would have been ok with a no.”
“I personally find it rude to ask.”
“Your time is as precious as hers.”
“No one goes to the Aldi for the quick service.”
“At least not where I live.”– International_Yam_80
There were a few, however, who felt that the OP had every right to ask to skip ahead in line, and the woman had no right to react the way she did.
“It wasn’t an unreasonable request, but typically I wait for someone to offer, rather than asking to go ahead.”
“She should have either said no, or let you go ahead without a fuss.”
“She was the AH.”- catsaway9
“May be going against the grain here, but NTA, and here’s why.”
“Aldi has its own set of rules where I live, US Midwest,
“It’s not uncommon to offer those with one or two items to go ahead of you or if they ask you say yes.”
“Because typical Aldi shoppers have huge carts of food filled to the brim.”
“It’s common courtesy to allow someone to go ahead if they have 1-2 items but you have 50.”-KirbyShark13
“That lady is bananas.”- Gigafive
“She became the AH for saying yes but bitching loudly about it in front of her child instead of saying no.”
“Using children as weapons in situations like that is not cool, kids pick up on the resentment and tension.”
“She was perfectly within her right to say no and she didn’t take it.”
“OP knew the answer might be no.”
“I would hope he would have kept his mouth shut and waited his turn.”
“Life is too short to get bent out of shape over a single purchase, especially while one would still be unloading their cart onto the belt.”
“This seems like a worthless hill to die on when we are peppered by actual misogyny all day, everyday.”
“I wonder if the reaction would have been similar with cucumbers or eggplants.”
“NTA in this scenario.”- WestWitch92824
“NTA she could have said no.”
“You don’t say yes then go nuts.”
“I usually offer a person to go in front of me in situations like this when I have lots of stuff.”
“But I mostly do self checkout and keep things under 20.”
“You’re not an AH for asking.”- SpecialistAfter511
“In what world is just asking someone politely if you could go ahead of them rude or an a**hole move?”
“How shallow would a person have to be to be offended by just being asked that?”
“If you don’t want the person cutting then just say no, which the lady didn’t.”- fffrikkie
“There are instances where asking can be a little presumptuous by unfairly putting someone else on the spot.”
“In this situation, the request is reasonable.”
“Both shoppers got in line at about the same time & one had only one item.”
“The woman could have said no and that would have been it.”
“If the interaction occurred exactly as OP described, the woman was way out of line and mischaracterized OP’s actions to get attention.”- Mermaidtoo
“I think she was being passive-aggressive and rude.”
“You may have been rushing out to get bananas for a kid getting over the flu, for all she knew.”
“But seeing the comments, it’s possible it’s an ‘ask/guess’ culture clash.”
“Or just ‘ask/guess’ people.”
“I am an ‘ask’ person and also someone who’s comfortable saying no.”
“I would have no problem telling you, ‘I’m kind of in a rush, too, sorry’.”- CharlesAvlnchGreen
“Because if she could be loud enough to make snarky comments she could have easily said no in the first place.”- crimejunkiefan
One can arguably understand the OP’s frustrations, and why they felt inclined to ask to cut in front of the mother ahead of them.
But perhaps they could have also stopped to think about everything that mother has to juggle on a regular basis, and that she was likely in just as big a hurry to get out of the grocery store as he was.
Even if she didn’t have to react in quite the manner she did.