The gym is not really a place to socialize.
So why do people tend to treat it that way?
What happened to get in and get out?
Or at the very least… just letting people do their own thing?
Case in point…
Redditor Key_Quail_7921 to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for shortening my workout after a man got on the elliptical next to me?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (27 F[emale]) like to go to the gym later in the evenings so I can have the place mostly to myself since.”
“I don’t like how claustrophobic it feels when tons of people are there at the same time.”
“I live around the block from a chain gym and go there most nights to use the elliptical for a while.”
“When I got to the gym tonight, the entire row of ellipticals was empty, so I grabbed the one all the way on the end.”
“Everything was fine during my workout all the way up to the last few minutes.”
“A guy walked into the mostly-deserted gym and got on the elliptical right next to mine.”
“Which I thought was weird since there was a row of about 12 other ones that were all empty.”
“It made me a little uncomfortable, so I shortened my workout by a few minutes and hopped off to grab a disinfectant wipe.”
“When I got back to wipe down the machine, the guy stopped pedaling and asked me what my problem was.”
“I was caught off guard and just stammered something about how I was done with my workout.”
“Which was basically true anyway, but he said something about me ‘treating him like a predator for no reason.'”
“And then put his headphones back in.”
“AITA for shortening my workout because some guy chose the elliptical right next to mine?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“That guy is a weirdo.”
“Gym etiquette: don’t take the machine RIGHT NEXT to someone if there are other vacant ones.”
“Especially during Covid. And not next to a single woman.”
“He knew what he was doing which was why he called himself out on it. NTA.” ~ lkvwfurry
“Yeah solid predator.”
“Not just because he chose the elliptical next to OP, but because when she chose to leave because she was uncomfortable he jumped to ‘you think I’m a predator!'”
“If he was just trying clumsily to hit on her, and she walked away, he would have just let it be.”
“The fact that he called her on it means he knows he was being creepy and was intending to be creepy about it.” ~ haleorshine
“They think they can intimidate women into apologizing for feeling threatened by suspicious creepy men with this tactic.”
“It’s gross and absolutely predatory, and probably a power trip thing.”
“If you’re not being a creep, you wouldn’t be offended if someone decides to end their workout early.”
“That doesn’t affect you in any way.”
“The fact that he tried to guilt-trip or accuse OP of offending him is exactly what he planned for by choosing the elliptical next to her.” ~ tulipbunnys
“And if you’re not a creep you wouldn’t even call OP out on ending your workout.”
“You’d just continue what you were doing.”
‘He knew he was being a creep and is mad that OP’s leaving and keeping him from whatever fantasy was playing out in his head.” ~ SegaNeptune28
“Yep, if a non-creep makes someone uncomfortable, they would feel bad and possibly apologize when they realized .”
“Depending on how uncomfortable the other person seems, it may be that they wouldn’t want to make things worse by seeming like they were trying to start a conversation.”
“They would not get angry and defensive and accuse the other person of being bad.”
“Which is clearly what he was trying to imply.”
“You’re treating me like a predator which is totally unfair to me.”
“Even though I fully chose to take the machine next to you in an empty gym, which is, uh, definitely something a predator might do.”
“You mean cruel person.” ~ vastaril
“This sounds like ‘nice guy’ behavior… in his head he was probably thinking ‘Oh, maybe this would be a perfect meet-cute!'”
“When in reality he’s being creepy-weird and the shaming her for doing what most (if not all) women would have done in this situation.”
“This is a dude who doesn’t realize (or doesn’t care at all) that in public spaces we spend a lot of time assessing risk even when it’s not consciously done.”
“Don’t invade space and then be upset when someone removed themselves from that space.”
“She is NTA and no one is ever the AH for protecting their personal safety.” ~ frozentundra32
“Yes. He was probably being a creepy, predatory weirdo.”
“He seems like one of those guys who deliberately try to intimidate a woman and then act all insulted because the woman was uncomfortable.”
“If this man was a good person, he could have recognized that OP was uncomfortable and then decided to leave OP alone.”
“He could make an effort to make the world just a little bit better and less scary for women.”
“Instead, he decided to lash out, making OP feel even more unsafe.”
“That man at the gym is TA.”
“Women feel uncomfortable about this kind of behavior for a reason.”
‘This guy was all upset because he didn’t get a good response to his creepiness.”
“OP was upset because when men cross common social boundaries and get angry about a negative response.”
“There is a nonzero chance that the man in question will get violent.”
“This is a well documented thing.”
“OP, you are NTA.” ~ salymander_1
“Yes, this! And with people being concerned with airborne viruses these days, why did he jump to predator?”
“Why couldn’t she be wanting to social distance?”
“Men who are creeps ARGUE with women taking safety precautions because it keeps happening to them.”
“Men who are NOT immediately back off when they realize they may have done something that made someone feel safe.”
“I’ve literally had guys say stuff like: ‘Oh god! I’m so sorry!’ or ‘Of course, I didn’t even think about it. You have to be careful these days.'”
“When they realized they’d inadvertently made me feel unsafe.”
“That guy’s guilty conscious was showing.”
“He was pissed he didn’t get to creep on her.”
“He is a creepo for sure.” ~ AlwaysAlexi777
“And OP only shortened her workout by a few minutes.”
“It’s not like she abandoned her workout only a few minutes into it.”
“Did he expect her to stay on her elliptical so that she didn’t make him think he’d scared her off?”
“Like, ‘My workout just happens to end, but if I leave now, it might offend the other person, so I need to stay on for another 10 minutes?'”
“That’s ridiculous!” ~ saucynoodlelover
“Exactly! And she didn’t even say anything to him, just moved away from a place that made her uncomfortable.”
“It’s not like she complained about what he did to him or anyone else.”
“How can anyone take offense at a person quietly removing themselves from a situation without bothering anyone?”
“I’m sure he got annoyed because it keeps happening to him. Why?”
“Because he keeps bothering women like that and goes “But I didn’t do anything, I’m an innocent being painted as a predator.'” ~ nutwit9211
“Agree, NTA.”
“I thought maybe– maybe– he has a favorite elliptical machine for whatever reason, e.g.”
“It’s the machine that’s right in front of the TV that’s tuned to his favorite station.”
“But that remote possibility vanished the moment he opened has mouth.”
“A non-creep would have been focused on his workout, not the random person next to him.”
“Hell, he’d be happy she left because now there’s no one next to him!” ~ Publius246
“NTA. It’s weird that he would choose the one right next to you.”
“And it’s even weirder that he then brought it up that you might be looking at him ‘like a predator.'”
“It’s like he’s telling on himself.” ~ Rice-Correct
“And especially because she was already on it when he got there.”
“For all he knew, she could’ve been there 2 hours already.”
“Or had another commitment to get to at a certain time.”
“He had no reason to assume she was weirded out by him other than that he obviously knew it was weird to take the elliptical right next to her’s.”
“It 100% seems like he was telling on himself for creeping.”
“OP, you’re definitely NTA, this dude was being creepy.” ~ Peachbowtie
“NTA. I was going to say N-A-H but dude confronted you for ending your workout a few minutes early.”
“If I went to the gym to get in an elliptical workout and a lady next to me stops within a couple minutes of me starting, I’m not interrupting my workout to confront her.”
“My focus is on my workout.”
“Dude was clearly creeping on you, and otherwise he would not have gotten upset at you leaving.” ~ Panther-Turtle
Well OP, Reddit is with you.
Sounds like you were just trying to do your own thing.
Which was offending no one.
Keep an eye out for him in the future.
Get your sweat on!