Naming a newborn is an intimate experience.
That’s why many parents constantly go back and forth in the process.
Many parents agree to that a name will take two yesses but only one no.
So it can be a big issue when others insert their opinions and ideas without “permission.”
Case in point…
Redditor Delicious_Author_620 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for what I named my son?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I (31 F[female]) had a little boy recently, my third.”
“We were over the moon and excited to tell the family.”
“I live far away from my family, so we mainly communicate over a family group chat.”
“I don’t get to see them very often as it’s expensive to fly, and they all have kids, too, so it makes traveling a bit tricky.”
“So when I messaged my family introducing my son with his name – Oliver, the general response was positive- however, my brother and his wife (both nearly 40) sent me a nasty text and wouldn’t speak to me.”
“I didn’t understand why as it was a short message and didn’t explain anything- just that they were angry about his name.”
“Since they wouldn’t speak to me, I rang my sister.”
“She explained that they had taken offense and that they thought the name was too similar to their daughter’s name – Olivia.”
“She explained they were very angry with us and not willing to speak to us at the moment.”
“I was completely shocked, and it’s all been very upsetting.”
“I’ve spoken to my parents and my other sister, who are also very confused by their reaction.”
“My sister-in-law has said to them that they might be willing to allow us to use Oliver as a middle name.”
“But if we use it as a first name, then that will essentially lead to an end of the relationship between us and them.”
“I don’t feel I have to justify or ask permission for naming my son and feel they are controlling with double standards.”
“They’ve never asked anyone permission for naming their children, nor have any of my other siblings.”
“We have different last names, and there are nearly five years between their Olivia and my Oliver.”
“Not to mention we live in different countries.”
“It’s been weeks now, and they still haven’t spoken to me or reached out.”
“I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong but, AITA for choosing a similar name?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA and LOL at ‘allow you to use the name as a middle name.'”
“What are they, the name police??”
“You don’t need their permission, and they are being utterly ridiculous.” ~ hellolittlebears
“NTA, adios to them, I guess.”
“People are so crazy. Even if it’s the same name, who cares?”
“My husband has a huge family.”
“There are multiples of Tom, Michael, Tim, Matthew, etc.”
“And guess what? No one is confused or bothered.”
“P.S. love the name.”
“I wanted to name my son that but couldn’t get my hubs on board.” ~ CommunicationOdd9406
“NTA. What the hell?”
“They don’t have ownership over a name or any names similar to one they chose.”
“The fact that they’re willing to die on this hill and cut all contact with you over it is ridiculous.” ~ WolfGoddess77
“Also, they live far away, so the children won’t even be spending much time with each other.”
“Who is going to know or care?”
“Most people who go N[o] C[ontact] with relatives have some major trauma.”
“Imagine them having to explain to acquaintances that the reason they don’t have anything to do with you is that you gave your son a name that is a bit similar to their daughter’s. NTA.” ~ StrangeVioletRed
“NTA… growing up (long story short), my parents ended up with custody of my cousin. He was a year older than me and had the exact same name as me first and last. Imagine how awkward that was in school, not knowing which one you calling or talking to.” ~ OkValue9989
“Please don’t give in to the demands of psychopaths essentially holding the family hostage to get their way.”
“You have every right to name your own son, and if you give in to this, they will just continue to believe they can make decisions about your own life.”
“How dare they said they ‘may allow’ you to use it as a middle name.”
“You are not responsible for any of this.”
“If they cause a conflict, that is on them and only them.”
“You have literally no responsibility in it.” ~ lessthanabelian
“I think it’s cute, cousins Oliver and Olivia.”
“That being said, how do they justify giving their daughter the MOST common girl’s name (an online baby name uniqueness analyzer says that one out of every 100 girls and 206,000 boys is being named Olivia).”
“Making it so that she will probably have other Olivias around her constantly for the rest of her life, yet find a cousin with a slightly similar name in another country to be offensive? NTA NTA NTA.” ~ HPSofSNARK
“I have a cousin named Kathleen who refuses to speak to her sister because her sister named her daughter Katherine.”
“She told her sister that she ‘stole her identity.'”
“Some people are just insane. NTA.” ~ TemperatureDizzy3257
“NTA… and tell them to get stuffed.”
“It’s not like they own the name, and you need their approval to name your child.”
“If they want to sulk, so be it.”
“Sometimes it’s best to leave people who aren’t mature enough alone so that they can continue to live their miserable self-entitled life.” ~ SPolowiski
“NTA – it’s none of her business.”
“Even if she lived close, it still shouldn’t matter.”
“My niece’s (20) name ends in Ayla, and our daughter’s (16) also ends in Ayla.”
“We are a very close family.”
“Nobody cared about the names being so similar.”
“They have been called the wrong name many times and are referred to as ‘the La-La girls’ when they are together (they just love that now that they are older 😂).” ~ Tonikaya1001
“NTA. My brother and our cousin have the same names, but we live across the country.”
“My sister and our cousin have different names than our grandma’s name is in.”
“Think Marianna and Annabel. My cousins have similar names. Think Dustin and Justin’s… one kid belongs to my aunt and the other my uncle.” ~ Go_Corgi_Fan84
“NTA. Oliver is a fine name.”
“If said brother and wife are going to throw a fit over what you two choose to name your child, well, they can get over it or have another kid and name theirs whatever they want.”
“Bit silly on their end.” ~ HypetheKomodo
“NTA-but you’re yet another over-explainer.”
“They told you in their very first communication that they were angry about your son’s name-you already felt that they don’t get a say in that.”
“You should have ignored them from that message on or said, ‘I’m sorry, you must be confused.'”
“This is a GREAT response whenever someone steps over the line.”
“They don’t know what you mean, and you haven’t opened the opportunity to speak, you’ve expressed no interest in learning more, etc.”
“Let them land on their own sword by stirring up their own trouble.”
“They were already on their way to doing just that by complaining to everyone else.”
“Unfortunately, you didn’t. You responded in a way that opened up a conversation by calling people up and calling your sister-who, has nothing to do with this, and now you’ve dragged everyone else into it!”
“You’re responsible for the mess you’ve created by being curious as to what their issue was (even when you knew that naming was no one else’s business).”
“Even to us Redditors, you’re trying to justify everything (different last names, five years difference, etc.).”
“You could have used the same exact name, and you still wouldn’t have been wrong.”
“STOP defending yourself when you know you’ve done nothing wrong!!!”
“This is probably a good lesson for you to work on in life in general.” ~ OkSeat4312
“Obviously, you’re NTA.”
“I don’t understand the whole ‘reserved name/similar to name’ situations that I read here.”
“Names aren’t reserved. They’re names.”
“Olivia is a common name.”
“Oliver is a common name.”
“To add, they considered ‘allowing’ you to use Oliver as his middle name????”
“What the actual hell?”
“They aren’t Oliver’s parents.”
“They aren’t your parents.”
“Parents choose their newborn’s name.” ~ mrslII
“NTA. It’s a very weird thing to be mad about.”
“My guess is that maybe they wanted to name a possible future son, Oliver.”
“I’ve known several families (including me and my siblings) having names that sound similar or starts with the same letter.” ~ OctaveSpan
“NTA. Olivia is a super popular name right now, and there will probably be three of them in every class she’s in all through school.”
“It’s also very common for family names to be used by more than one person.”
“So if ‘Emilio’ is a cherished grandfather, several of the grandchildren might be named that, plus an Emilia!”
“No one gets to call dibs on names.” ~ avocadosdontbite
“NTA. I wouldn’t have even associated the two had you not put it.”
“They’re not the same name or even the same gender.”
“Also, the different countries.”
“It sounds like an excuse to cause drama, really, and I’d leave them to it.” ~ Selmo20
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Your baby, your rules.
You get to decide.
Please, try not to fret.
Welcome to the world, Oliver!