Keeping a name in the family is a special honor for loved ones since passed.
Redditor DesignerAnimal613 intentionally named her son after her grandfather by giving her baby boy her grandfather’s name as his middle name.
But apparently the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t the only one with this idea.
The OP’s sister-in-law just found out she’s pregnant with her second and she already chose a baby name.
Yep, the same name as OP’s grandfather.
This name matchup drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
She asked:
“WIBTA if I made my sister-in-law change the name of her unborn baby?”
She went on to explain.
“My son (we’ll call him Jack Emmett Smith) was born just over six months ago, and we decided to use my grandfather’s name (Emmett) as his middle name to honor him.
“And because I have always been close to my grandfather. My sister-in-law is now pregnant with their second child unexpectedly after her first just had her first birthday.”
“There will be about a 19-month age gap between them.”
“The big thing here is that they already announced the name of the baby when she was only a month along. The name is the same name as my grandfather and my son’s middle name- Emmett.”
“They already announced this to both sides of her family and announced that they won’t even be calling her by that name but by a nickname for her entire childhood.”
“My brother, with all of this, doesn’t really care what they name the kids and really just lets my sister-in-law decide what she wants, which is fine.”
“But the fact that they announced the name and never even talked to us about it beforehand, and we only found out due to a group chat text stings, especially since my son is barely six months old.”
“My sister-in-law struggles with severe mental health issues, and I honestly don’t know if I can bring this up to her without her having a complete meltdown and her end up thinking that we hate her and so on and so on.”
“I spoke to my mother about it, and she said that she thinks it’s great that we all like the same name and that name’s take on a different meaning for everyone and that it is completely fine.”
“(My mother has also had to go through a lot of struggles in her relationship with my SIL due to the mental health struggles and all sorts of issues there).”
The OP was left to wonder,
“WIBTA for telling my sister-in-law that she needs to change the name of her unborn child because it is too soon after my own son being born?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
-
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“YTA. You don’t have sole rights to your grandfather’s name, or any name, actually. Your child is called Jack, for a start.”
“Edit: Jack being the first name (not Emmet) – nothing against regular Jacks.” – -Space-Lion-
“YTA just thinking that it’s your business.” – mus_speculus
“YTA. It’s your son’s middle name. People hardly ever use middle names. It’s actually kind of neat they are using it as a first name. It’s something they’ll have in common.” – juicydreamer
“Stopped reading after ‘they announced the name and never even talked to us about it beforehand.’”
“This is over the top entitled, and it’s their business naming THEIR kid. You don’t own a name lol look at how many families have like eight people named John lol YTA” – [deleted]
“YWBTA for two reasons.”
“1. Thinking you can “make” her change the name as if you had that type of power to control what others do.”
“2. For feeling ownership over the name. It’s a name. I’m sure you’ll meet other people in the world with that name. Get over it.”
“My cousin named her son Samuel. My cousin’s sister had a kid and named him Sam. So the two kids are Sam and Samuel. No one took issue with this.”
“This is not in your control. I suggest learning just to accept it. If you hate it so much, change your own kid’s name because that you can control.” – archetyping101
“YTA, you are being really childish and weirdly possessive over a name. You do not have the ownership of the name and have no right to even ask your sister-in-law.” – Kukka63
“Has anyone else noticed how in an Aita post there is always someone who has mental health issues or autism or ADHD??”
“There is like 1% of the population who has autism, but on Reddit everyone has it.”
“Either way, YTA.” – Elegant_Panic7858
“YTA.”
“The name someone chooses for their kid is their choice.”
“Nobody else has something to do with that.” – Pink_Cloud90
“YTA. Why does it matter? It’s a nice gesture for both families to honor someone. And what the hell does too soon mean?”
“She has the right to use that name the next day if she wants.” – Master_Post4665
“Nobody cares if your SIL struggles with severe mental health issues. You are muddying the water, even bringing it up in this post.”
“Your SIL doesn’t need to be bothered by your opinion because it is none of your business.”
“What you name your own child is your and your partner’s business, too.”
“There can be more than one kid in the family named Emmet. Especially if the other name is something different. MTOB and YTA” – YouthNAsia63
“YWBTA for TRYING to “make” your SIL choose a different name. First, according to one of your comments, she’s having a girl, and they will call her Emme.”
“Second, Emmett is your son’s MIDDLE name. It’s not like she wants to name the kid Jacqueline Emmett Smith.”
“Third, you don’t hold the copyright to any name.” – Inner-Show-1172
“YTA. Cousins share family names all the time, and you didn’t even use it as a first name.”
“There is no reason your SIL can’t use it. Don’t say anything to her and work on getting over your entitlement.” – photosbeersandteach
“YTA. It’s the middle name. Even if it wasn’t, who cares? My niece and nephew (cousins) have the same middle name because it’s a family name. Very common.” – ksleeve724
“YTA.”
“They can honor your grandfather just as you can. Nothing wrong with the same first name and middle name.” – beentherealmostdid
“YTA. It’s very common for families to share names and for kids to have the same middle name.”
“She likes the name, so do you, and neither of you are apparently calling your kid by that name, so there won’t be any confusion.”
“You don’t own the name- she and your brother get to name their kid what they want.” – SpicyTurtle38
“YTA”
“This has nothing to do with mental health issues. The main issue is you’re being an a**hole.”
“You don’t own the name. And if you loved it so much, you would’ve used it as a first name.”
“Your sil has every right to tell you to go pound sand if you bring it up.” – TheHobbyWaitress
“YTA for bringing up your SIL’s mental health issues as if that has anything to do with the situation. Acting as if you can’t bring it up because she’d be sooooo unreasonable.”
“You are the one being unreasonable. No one gives a monkey’s what your child’s middle name is. Only a handful of people in his life will ever even know it.”
“Get over yourself and congratulate them on their baby and beautiful choice of name.”
“Although I also have questions:”
“1. How do they know the gender if they are only a month along?”
“2. Have you asked your brother why they chose that name? Maybe he wanted to honour his grandfather too” – DoorSubstantial2104
“Posts like yours always seem to emphasize putting others down so you can think you are somewhat superior to them.”
“When people make these posts, I can only assume they already know they are the AH.” – Rainyday2022
“YTA.”
“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, multiple extended family members can have the same name.”
“I have three first cousins who have given their daughters the same name, which is the same name as another first cousin. I have 4 cousins that have sons with the same first name.”
“One of my cousins has given their son the same name as me.”
“Unless the name your SIL is choosing is the name of a deceased child, it’s fine to use it” – lostrandomdude
“YTA And btw, it is common for families to repeat names in several generations and relatives. My grandfather’s name is my brother’s first name and my son’s middle name.”
“My ex-husband has his grandfather’s name as his middle name, and it is his cousin’s first name and our son’s middle name as well.”
“And no one cares, and chances are if my children have kids, they will carry on the tradition. You don’t get to own the name.” – catjo70
At least Grandpa is getting lots of posthumous love.
We hope the family can resolve any drama before the little bundle comes into the world.