College roommate situations can be a lot to handle.
Teenagers just getting to know one another and learning personalities... that's a lot of drama waiting to explode.
Some roommate traits don't always mesh.
Some roommate traits grind.
Learning to co-exist can be part of the college experience, but it's not easy.
Redditor DifficultDog67 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
"WIBTA if I refuse to switch to a silent alarm for my roommate?"
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
"I am moving to university in the fall from community college and have been talking to my assigned roommate."
"I need a loud alarm in order to wake up, but my roommate has asked me to either have no alarm at all or switch to a silent alarm."
"I've never tried a silent alarm before, so I tried one for about a week, and I've slept through it every day I tried it."
"I'm not the kind of person to press snooze for 30 minutes."
"I can wake up after it goes off once, but I'm going to have to get up early if I want to be on time for classes."
"I told him that silent alarms don't work for me, and I can wake up after one alarm, but he still wants me to have one."
"ETA: Even though the general consensus seems to be that I'm in the clear, I forgot to add that bedrooms in my dorm are separate from each other; it isn't a shared room like a traditional dorm."
"As in there's my door, then a hallway to his door, so the sound should be somewhat muffled by it."
The OP was left to wonder:
"WIBTA if I refuse and keep my loud alarm?"
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question, AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You're The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Her
- INFO - More Information Needed
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A-hole.
"NTA. If your roommate has a problem with it (after moving in), they can put in a request for a room change." ~ GardenSafe8519
"This, or they can get earplugs." ~ Obvious-Arrival2571
"NTA. You need to wake up for your day, and that’s a non-negotiable basic responsibility."
"Unless your alarm is a literal air raid siren going off at 3 AM, your roommate needs to invest in earplugs or a white noise machine."
"Living with other people involves some level of tolerance for human noises, including the ones needed to get out of bed." ~ Defiant_Formal_8143
"Agreed, especially with the edit about having separate bedrooms. A normal alarm going off once shouldn’t be a dealbreaker if they are that sensitive of a sleeper. Shared housing might not be for them, and they should look into a room change." ~ stoneecho33
"Yes, yes, NTA (I also have a loud alarm)."
"Separate rooms, two doors, and you actually tested the silent alarm for a week and slept through class every time... Just frame it as 'let's see how it sounds once we're in, 'so you start the year as allies, and you will build on this." ~ Armantvs
"Your roommate and the other commenters here losing their minds over an audible alarm are ridiculous and childish."
"Having an alarm is normal. If the roommate cannot handle that, they need to upgrade to a single."
"I would see if I could switch roomies now because they are already controlling and irrational."
"That never gets better, only worse in my experience living in dorms with total tyrannical @ssh@ts sophomore year." ~ MistyMountainDewDrop
"NTA. If you were a consistent snoozer, I'd say YTA, but if you really do get up after the first ring or 2, then they can switch to those noise-canceling headbands."
"Roommate sleeping comes with compromises."
"You attempted, and it didn't work. his turn." ~ Flimsy-Brick-9426
"NTA. Especially because you actually tried the silent alarm for a week rather than just telling him, 'No, deal with it."'
"Hearing noise from your roommate and waking up to them sometimes is just part of living in a college dorm."
"He is being unreasonable if he expects otherwise."
"All of my roommates had alarms, and I did too, and we just dealt with it, and it wasn't a big deal."
"At worst, he wakes up for a few seconds and goes back to sleep."
"On the other hand, if you switched to silent alarms, the worst thing for you would be missing your classes." ~ gaokeai
"NTA. If your roommate is a light sleeper, they can use earplugs or a noise machine."
"If anything, you were a good sport for trying the silent alarm." ~ oldyorker123
"Yeah, I am an incredibly light sleeper (I will wake up if someone opens any door within the apartment), and I would never ever ever make that demand of someone."
"When that’s how you are, you learn to accept that your sleep is going to be disrupted, and feeling detached from control actually makes falling back asleep a lot easier."
"It wouldn’t even occur to me to make the silent alarm request, to be honest, especially not even sharing a room!"
"My partner is a very heavy sleeper (truly has slept through fireworks, neighbor fights, you name it) and needs a loud alarm."
"I asked them to change the abrasive tone they originally used because it would scare me awake, and then my heart would be racing, and I couldn’t fall back asleep."
"They changed it to a more mild melodic tone for me, and I obviously still woke up, but just went back to sleep after."
"I can't imagine telling them they couldn’t use an alarm??" ~ spacedinosaur1313131
"NTA, as long as you immediately turn off your alarm and do not leave it on, if you NEED a loud alarm, you use a loud alarm even if that bothers your assigned roommate (and I would also not wake up with a silent alarm either, so do what works for you, no matter how much your assigned roommate complains, and well, if he continues to make a fuss and gets in any way nasty and regarding this, talk to your residence don and tell them about the situation)."
"Your assigned roommate sounds rather demanding and entitled (but even if he might have auditory issues and/or startles easily, categorically demanding that you either not use an alarm clock or a silent one that does not work for you, is, in my opinion, totally unreasonable and incredibly self-centred)." ~ GoetheundLotte
"NTA. This is part of having a roommate; they will have to use earplugs if it bothers them."
"You will be an a**hole if you snooze repeatedly in the mornings, though." ~ bananawith3wings
"There are a lot of phones that have an escalating alarm."
"It starts off soft and gradually gets louder."
"Could be a good alternative since if you can wake up during the early part, it might not be loud enough to wake your roommate." ~ Alewerkz
"NTA. I lived on campus all 4 years in college."
"Didn’t have a roommate for health reasons, but the walls are thin, and I’m pretty noise sensitive."
"I’d have loved neighbors whose only commotion was a loud alarm that went off once."
"Is this your roommate's first time in communal housing, too?" ~ hayleybeth7
"NTA, having an alarm in a shared dorm room is completely normal."
"As long as you don’t snooze it multiple times, or set it for unheard of hours (5 am), or make a ruckus getting ready, they need to learn how to adjust to communal living." ~ MadDogTwentyTwenty
"NTA. Part of living with people is that sometimes they make noise."
"I don't know when your classes are versus when your roommate sleeps, but that's kinda how roommates at school work; alarms, footsteps, someone coming in late."
"It's the deal when you share a room."
"And 7:30 for a 9 a.m. is completely normal."
"That's not you being inconsiderate; that's just a person waking up for class at a reasonable hour."
"You're not blasting it at 5 a.m. or pressing snooze every 5 minutes for an hour (something that I do when I need to wake up)."
"One alarm and you're awake within 20 seconds; that's a pretty low-impact wake-up."
"You even tested the silent alarm for a full week in good faith and slept through it every day."
"So you didn't dismiss their concerns and tried an alternative to be a good roommate."
"If they want silent-or-nothing, they're not asking for a compromise; they're asking you to oversleep so they don't have to hear a normal alarm at a normal hour."
"They are always welcome to pay extra for a single room." ~ PsychologicalSalad10
"NTA. He's going to have to learn to live with a roommate."
"You too."
"Be sure to assure him you'll be extremely quiet when you come in late, and try not to turn on the lights if he's already in bed."
"Ask the same in return if you need to." ~ holy-reddit-batman
"One alarm that you turn off quickly is 100% acceptable and a normal expectation."
"3-4 rounds of snooze is rude."
"In many years past, the college dorm now, but when I sleep in a hostel, I set a couple alarms to vibrate my Apple Watch and then one sound alarm for the 'if you’re not awake, yet it’s your last chance.'"
"9/10 I’m awake enough to cancel the loud alarm before it goes off, but it’s a good fail-safe."
"Maybe over the summer, you could work on acclimating yourself to a less loud volume setting?"
"Turn it one notch down for a few days, then another, etc., until you find the lowest volume you can still wake up to?"
"But ultimately, you’re paying a lot of money for those classes, so don’t miss them!" ~ sarahshift1
Reddit is with you, OP.
Your roommate can learn to live with one alarm a day... that is NOT in his room.
You have to prioritize your studies.
Good Luck.
