For momentous occasions like weddings or baby showers, a gift registry is certainly a very helpful thing to have.
In addition to limiting selections for friends and family in attendance, it also helps the recipients obtain practical items to use in their homes.
But can an item chosen for a registry beat a homemade personal gift from a loved one?
According to the sister-in-law of Redditor 364goalsss, the answer would be yes, and she even went so far as to reject his present.
Not only that, she would go on to demand that the original poster (OP) still buy her a present from her registry.
Surprised by this demand, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not getting my SIL a baby shower gift after she wouldn’t take my handmade one?”
The OP explained his current financial situation posed a problem with getting his brother and sister-in-law a gift for their upcoming baby, but came up with what they thought was an ideal solution.
“Due to financial challenges I am currently broke right now.”
“This coincided with my sister in law’ [SIL]’s baby shower.”
“It’s the first baby born to any of my siblings so it’s a big to do.”
“I had money set aside but had to use it to cover some unexpected expenses that came up with my car.”
“By the time I got things sorted and got around to the registry, the smaller items were gone and all that was left were the big ticket ones of 100+ dollars which honestly I can’t afford.”
“But I can knit pretty well and have a yarn stash so in downtime between work, and general life I knitted up a baby blanket for my new niece.”
“I did pick up some smaller items too, pacifiers, some of those little texture books and whatnot.”
But when the OP presented his gift to his brother and sister-in-law, they’re reaction wasn’t quite what he expected.
‘I was working a double the night of the shower so I didn’t get to go, so the weekend after I swung by my brother’s place and gave the blanket and small items to them.”
‘My sister in law was peeved and gave me back the blanket for being the ‘wrong color’.”
“It was a deep navy blue yarn and I guess it’s a boys color, whatever.’
“I was annoyed but one of my friend’s had a baby recently so I decided I’d give it to her.’
“I left the smaller items and went home a little miffed but whatever.”
“Few days pass and my brother calls and says my sister in law is asking what I’m planning to get them so they can start planning the nursery layout.”
“I was just sorta like wtf and pointed out that I had already given them my gift and his wife gave it back.”
“Won’t get into the whole convo but basically they said I went off the registry so they’re still expecting something from me since I’m the uncle.”
“Most of the small big ticket items are now gone so I really honestly can’t afford anything left on the registry.”
“I asked about the smaller items I gave them and my brother said his wife said those didn’t count, they asked for gifts off the registry, or I could make a blanket with the right colors.”
“Told my brother that hell no I wasn’t making another blanket, between work it took me almost a month to make that blanket and I used up 90% of my infrequent downtime to make it.”
“Mom says they’re right, I’m not supposed to give them something off the registry and as immediate family I should buy them something they asked for.”
“Dad’s stance is ‘why are you as a grown a** man knitting’ and sister in law is giving me the cold shoulder, brother is idek at this point.”
‘Says he’s sorry but asking me to give in just to make it go away.”
“I don’t have any clue how any of this baby shower stuff works so AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The OP found firm support from the Reddit community, with everyone agreeing he was in no way the a**hole.
Redditors were shocked by the selfish behavior of the OP’s brother and sister-in-law, and were equally shocked by the behavior of his parents.
“If your parents are so upset, they can get something on your behalf.”
“Bam, problem solved.”
“Let’s see how they like paying for $100 items.”
“Baby blanket is cute, their loss.”
“NTA.”- CouchcarrotStatus
“NTA.”
“The hand knitted blanket should have meant much more than something generic from a list.”
“She called you up to demand another gift, the smaller gifts ‘don’t count’, and she won’t use a blue blanket because it’s a ‘boy” color?
“What is wrong with these people?”
“Do NOT get these entitled people anything more.”- ParsimoniousSalad
“NTA.”
“You gave a gift.”
“They didn’t want it.”
“Obligation and generosity on your part was met.”
“Its rude AF to hand someone their gift back.”
“And it’s absolutely never appropriate to demand a new gift after rejecting a completely reasonable gift.”
“Wrong color’ is not a reason to be an AH.”
“And babies do not care what color a blanket is.”
“If you can’t afford something on the registry than a similar present to cheaper items or a homemade gift is fine.”
“Heck, any gift is exactly that.”
“A gift.”
“No one is entitled to gifts.”
“There is absolutely zero things that you need to apologize for, and I’m sorry your SIL and brother are so ridiculous as humans.”
“Or that your parents clearly have taught ya all that any of this is even remotely normal as behavior.”- JetItTogether
‘NTA.”
‘You made them a nice gift, they should have just graciously accepted.”
“Don’t get them anything.”
“And tell your dad to get his head out of his rectum.”- ChapSteve711
“NTA but your sister in law is a huge AH!”
“First of all who cares about the color of the blanket?”
“The fact that you even know how to knit and took the time to lovingly make a blanket for your niece is amazing.”
“I had family members crochet or knit blankets for my kids when they were born and they are now treasured keepsakes to be passed down to the next generation.”- 1Chicken2
“NTA.”
“Tell them you can’t afford the expensive stuff and you made a labor of love gift that she returned.”
“So, that’s that.”
“As for your dad, tell him knitting is an excellent form of meditation and creation.”- DarkAthena
“Not sure what part of you don’t have any money they didn’t get.’
“It’s not your baby so you shouldn’t have to go into debt for it.’
“Paint a rock pink and give it her.”- MommaGuy
“Of course NTA.”
“Don’t waste another moment thinking about this.”
“The proper response to any gift, wrong color, don’t like it or need it, already have one, whatever, is ‘Thank You’.”- RB1327
“NTA.”
“Just had a baby and my broke friend knit him some small mittens and I adore them.”
“Too bad your SIL is spoiled and entitled.”- Bigdaddylovesfatties
“NTA.”
“Your SIL and Brother are the a**holes.’
“First, I understand it’s customary to give a baby shower gift but your still not required to do so.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything.”
“A gift is a ‘thing given willingly without payment’ not a forced purchase from a list.”
“Didn’t your SIL ever get a hideous holiday sweater or pair of socks as a present as kid that she had to pretend to love?”
“They are rude and ungrateful.”
“You are great and thoughtful.”-LawGrad001
“NTA.”
“I’m sorry, the handmade item has more value.”
“She gave it back, so tough t*tties.”-MimirBattleAxe
“NTA.”
“You spent a lot of time making that blanket, and they somehow had the gall to be ungrateful.”
“Your brother and SIL are entitled AHs.”-starunner
“NTA.”
“You gave them a gift within your means and they rejected it.”
“I have few handmade baby blankets for my kids.”
“Are they they ‘right colors?'”
“No.”
“Are they still special as hell?”
“Absolutely yes.”- Gocatsgo2010
“NTA.”
“WtH, the entitlement of your brothers wife, wow.”-TheAmethyst1139
“Are they out of their minds?”
“Whatever happened to manners and common sense?”
“I taught my kids that if someone gives you a gift, you say thank you.”
“If you don’t like said gift, you keep your mouth shut.”
“A registry is a list of things you would like, not a damn binding contract.”
“I honestly don’t know what is going on with some people.”
“And you are NTA.”
“But you have a lot of them in your family.”- noodlesaintpasta
It’s hard to say which is more shocking, that the OP’s sister in law would reject a very personal, hand made gift for any reason, or that she actually demanded he get her a gift from her registry.
One can’t help but worry about what sort of lessons they’ll be teaching their soon-to-arrive child.