Vacations are meant to be a time of enjoyment.
Whether that time is spent laying in a motel room, by a pool, or on a mountain, it’s about enjoying that time.
Of course, this doesn’t mean the responsibilities don’t come with us, but at least we expect it.
What happens, though, when we’re included on the vacation but only to enhance someone else’s good time?
This was the problem facing Redditor and Original Poster (OP) familyvacayruiner when she came to the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for an outside perspective.
She asked:
“AITA for leaving a family vacation early?”
First, OP gave us the premise.
“I (27 Female) was invited on a family vacation to Las Vegas.”
“It included me, my mom and her husband, and my brother (8 Male).”
“We had a couple family activities planned but obviously, it’s vegas, I wanted to go to a show or two and to the casinos.”
Everything seemed to be going well.
“The first day there we went to the hoover dam, it was fun and my brother really thought it was cool.”
“After we got back to the hotel, my mom and stepdad split for dinner and left my brother and I with money to order food.”
“It wasn’t how I wanted to spend the evening, but we had fun hanging out at the hotel nonetheless.”
“The next morning, however, I woke up to my brother in the living room area of our hotel room (it was more of a condo I guess? Had two bedrooms and a living room/kitchen) and my mom and stepdad were out shopping.”
“I called my mom to ask when they’d be back, as I wanted to do some shopping as well and didn’t really want to be responsible for my brother the whole day.”
“She gave me a vague ‘this afternoon’ answer.”
“I took my brother to the pool and the afternoon turned to evening and my mom and stepdad were still gone.”
“When I called her again she told me they had tickets to a show and suggested my brother and I order some food and watch a movie.
“When they got back late, I asked my mom what the plans were for the next day.”
“We only had a couple days remaining and I still wanted to at least go out alone to the casino or something once.”
“She told me they had tickets to another show the next day but that we’d all have brunch together, and then I could watch my brother at night.”
Then OP came to the heart of the matter.
“I told her I didn’t come on the vacation to be her babysitter, and she told me, straight up, that was the only reason she invited me.”
“We got into a bit of an argument and I told her I’d rather go home than spend my time in Vegas babysitting.”
“She essentially said ‘Fine, then leave!’
“So.. I booked a flight home for first thing in the morning, took an Uber to the airport, and went home.”
“She sent me some nasty texts afterwards about ‘ruining their vacation’ and my dad thought what I did was funny, as he can’t stand my mom, but kind of agreed that it was rude of me to leave.”
She was left wondering.
“AITA?”
Having explained the full situation, OP turned to Reddit for clarity.
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:NTA
Some pointed to the lack of communication.Â
“NTA.”
“If the intention was for you to watch the kids, that should have been communicated to you.”
“You’re 27 for God’s sake. Not 19.”
“But it sounds like you had the reasonable expectation that this trip was a vacation for everyone.“~ JoeBirdsong
Others applauded OP’s use of boundaries.
“NTA.”
“First they leave you to watch him while they go to dinner, then they disappear WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING in order to go shopping and still left your brother with you.”
“Then were gone way past the given return time, basically refused to give you a chance to do anything you wanted, never attempted to tell you the true reason behind you going until the very end, and then claimed you ‘ruined their vacation’ by having boundaries and being a normal person.”
“You did the right thing and have, essentially, put a boundary down for them to recognize.”
“I find it funny how your dad thought it was rude of you to leave, but never thought that it may be rude to bring you as an unknowing babysitter and consistently leaving you to do his (and your mom’s) job of watching your brother.”~ MiHoyMiNoy7
And,
“NTA. Not rude to leave.”
“Super rude of your mother to take advantage of you after inviting you on vacation.”
“I guess she meant her vacation. Good job sticking up for yourself.”~ Quix66
Commenters were confused by the parent’s actions.
“NTA Your mom is a HUUUUUUUUUUGE a**hole.”
“None of this makes sense.”
“If she and your stepdad didn’t want to spend time with you or your brother, I don’t understand why they’d bring you both.”
“It seems like it would have been easier to send your brother to grandparents or other family members and go alone.”
“You’re 20 freaking 7!”
“You clearly have your own life.”
“They shouldn’t have even bothered you with this if this wasn’t an actual vacation.”~ Riddleless_Sphinx
OP did return to clarify this point.
“We sadly don’t have anyone around that could’ve watched him other than my dad, and my parents do not get along.”
“My mom will do anything to avoid giving my dad any extra time with my brother (they have 50/50 custody. She has left him with me a couple of times to avoid having to ask my dad to keep him an extra night).”
“So I think she only brought him along so she wouldn’t have to do that.”
“And then apparently invited me so she could still make the vacation all about her and my stepdad lol”
Of course, some got right to the point.
“NTA – that’s a jerk move from your mom.”
“Def talk to your brother though.”~shingomido
Vacations are meant to be enjoyed.
Remember that those you share the vacation with have as much right to enjoy themselves as you do, it’s their vacation too.