Whether we had siblings, roommates, or a sometimes annoying partner, we’ve all had an experience where we lived with someone who made themselves a little too comfortable with our stuff.
There’s nothing quite like the frustration to come back to our bathroom supplies or closet, only to see that someone else has ruffled through it, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor carlitayeeta was back home from college and already sick of her younger brother helping himself to her stuff when he ran out of his own.
When her razors were the final straw, the Original Poster (OP) called him out by telling him what she used her razors for.
She asked the sub:
“ATIA for telling my brother that the razor he keeps stealing from me was used to shave my butthole?”
The OP was back home from college and was already annoyed.
“My brother is 16. I’m 20 (Female). I recently got home from college.”
“He has a bad habit of taking my stuff when he runs out of his own. He takes my shampoo, my hair products, my conditioner, and my face wash.”
“No matter how much I yell at him, when he’s in a pinch and just trying to go fast and has run out of stuff, he just uses mine.”
The latest annoyance involved the OP’s razors.
“I usually hide all of it under my sink, but I generally keep my razor in the shower.”
“The first time, I thought it was an accident. I always put the plastic covering back on my razor and found that the next time I went to use it, it had been removed.”
“I just told him it was mine and not to do it again. Just in case though, I removed the old head and put the new one I had just used to shave my entire body in my drawer in the bathroom, so the next time I would shower, I could just grab it from there.”
“The second time, I got p**sed. He literally went to use my razor, found there was no head, and then went through my bathroom stuff to find another razor head, replaced it, and then used it to shave.”
The OP called her brother out on using her stuff.
“I found out and lost my s**t. I screamed at him that I literally used that to shave my a**hole and he used it on his face.”
“He got mad because I replaced the plastic on the razor head and put it in my drawer with other new razors that I had bought, so he assumed it was new.”
“He said he wasn’t trying to use mine, but he was in a pinch again and just searched around for what he thought was a clean razor head to use so he wouldn’t use my used one like last time.”
“He also freaked out about the a**hole thing and was like gagging and crying about it.”
“I just told him he shouldn’t have used my stuff after I specifically told him not to.”
The OP’s parents sided with her brother.
“My parents are mad at me because I was ‘crude’ and said that I didn’t have to say all the a**hole stuff.”
“They are also saying my reaction was disproportionate and that I shouldn’t have reacted so much because it WAS an honest mistake and he thought it wasn’t used.”
“I did get pretty mad, screaming at him that he was gross and had no respect or boundaries.”
“I kind of feel bad because he’s not talking to me now, and I do really care about him.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some completely understood the OP’s actions and anger.
“NTA. This was quite a read, though! I’m glad you brought up the fact that you shave your a-hole with it to him. Hopefully, he learns his lesson by then.”
“And honestly? Valid reaction. The screaming feels like a build-up more than anything. You’re 20 years old; you’re an adult with boundaries, so he should respect them. ESH but you.” – Bibliorphic
“NTA. Your parents are just enabling his behavior. I’d put the stuff in a locked drawer or locked box. He intentionally went through your stuff to get your razer. That’s not an accident.” – piefanart
“Your parents said it was an ‘honest mistake.’ But no. No, it wasn’t.”
“He knows not to use your stuff. Telling him off doesn’t work because there’s never any comeback. The a-hole thing might help, but I wouldn’t count on it. Next time, hide your stuff better, except for one shower gel or shampoo into which you’ve mixed some green food coloring or similar.”
“NTA.” – AlpineHaddock
“NTA, it’s not an ‘honest mistake’ when he’s constantly doing it after being told not to. Sounds like he got the wake-up call he needed, though.”
“Side note, how does he not have his own razor if he’s used to shaving? And why was he going so far out of his way to use your razor to the point that he rifled through your stuff to get a new razor head?” – Furnace45
“An ‘honest mistake’ is when there are two razors in the shower, and you accidentally use the one that is not yours. You apologize and replace their razor.”
“A ‘lazy fart’ doesn’t have a razor because he didn’t bother asking Mom to put any on the store list. Probably didn’t respond when Mom texted, ‘Does anyone need anything from the store before I go?'”
“Then, the next time he’s butt naked, realizes he doesn’t have what he needs. He’ll use your supplies if they’re handy. If not, he rummages around to find them.”
“He then leaves your tools, encrusted with his follicles, bacteria & sloughed skin cells, and goes on his way. Too bad for YOU, Sis!”
“WHAT? YOU USED YOUR OWN PRODUCTS TO CLEAN YOUR OWN BODY? AND THEN I USED THEM ON MYSELF?! DISGUSTING!!”
“NTA.” – Abject-Technician558
Others thought everyone in the situation was at least a little at fault.
“I’m going to take the unpopular route and say ESH.”
“Bro sucks for using stuff that isn’t his… But he’s also 16. OP doesn’t mention whether he has his own job or does his own shopping, so he’s really at the mercy of his parents to buy him things like razors. And mentally, he’s still in a mental place where things in the house are communal property since he probably has very few things that are specifically his.”
“Parents suck for not providing essential items to their teenage son and then trying to make their daughter feel bad when she sticks up for herself and her personal property.”
“And lastly, OP sucks because she probably didn’t take the time to have a serious discussion with her brother about not using her stuff. She has gone off to college and developed more of a sense of ownership over her things and comes back home with a different mentality than she had when she left. Instead of sitting here brother down and explaining that she buys her own stuff and it’s expensive she probably just yelled at him once and expected that to be sufficient, but it isn’t because he hasn’t changed, she has.” – colormechristie
“If he’s old enough to use hygiene products without supervision, he’s old enough to keep track of it and notify a parent when he’s running low if he doesn’t purchase his own. The two of you don’t share underwear, feminine products, cutlery at the table, socks, precisely the same wad of toilet paper, etc.”
“It’s not only a hygiene thing. It’s a personal boundary and self-care thing. How often is he inattentive in other areas of his life that cause him to scramble around ‘in a pinch’?”
“I find it difficult to pass judgment here. You may have been out of line with the a**hole thing (holy s**t, you had me rolling, though), but he is out of line for not guarding his own personal boundaries enough to do his part in making sure he has his hygiene products, or at least asking to use a razor head or some other item if he truly has no other option.”
“Somewhere between NAH and ESH? Is there an option directly in the middle one I haven’t come across yet?” – JDawnchild
“As many have already said, clearly, he was wrong. But ‘screaming’ at him is not a mature response. I agree that getting a lockbox or otherwise taking further steps may be necessary. Certainly, having a firm conversation is warranted. But screaming at some is rarely if ever warranted: and someone stealing a relatively inexpensive possession is not it.” – whattimeisit531
“He’s 16. Why aren’t your parents getting him the products he needs not to be a stinky hormonal mess?”
“Take this up with them instead of punishing him.”
“ESH.” – On_The_Blindside
“Is everyone missing the part where OP’s brother is a literal child? I’m sorry, but a 20-year-old should know better than to scream and shout at a 16-year-old.”
“I’m going ESH. You’re brother shouldn’t take your stuff without permission, but he’s a kid and doesn’t have the same freedoms as you, so it’s harder for him to get stuff and stay topped up.”
“Rather than hide your stuff in the bathroom, just put it in a bag and bring the bag to your room with you, and in the car when you’re away. That way, nobody will use your stuff, and you don’t have to be paranoid about him using yours.”
“Why doesn’t he use your dad’s razors? And is there another shampoo and conditioner besides yours that he could use? If there is, why doesn’t he?” – Organic-Accountant74
After receiving feedback, the OP shared a clarification and an update.
“I’m not sure anyone will see this, but I did not expect so many people to see my original post, LOL (laughing out loud). I’m glad a bunch of people on the internet now know I shave my a**hole.”
“People were assuming he’s the favorite. My parents are just religious southerners and super anti-ANY ‘crude’ language, especially if it could ‘corrupt’ the baby of the family (my brother).”
“My brother is usually cool. He just was embarrassed and wanted to shift the blame to someone else.”
“My parents did buy me more razors to replace the ones my brother soiled, and they got my brother his own supply for himself.”
“I also tried talking to my brother a bit to apologize about traumatizing him a bit, but he was just like, ‘YEP, IT’S OKAY, I’m SORRY.’ He very much just wanted to move on and not talk about it.”
“Anyways, I doubt he will be using my razors or other stuff any time soon!”
While some thought that this might have been an over-the-top reaction to the situation, everyone could understand the frustrations of someone borrowing our supplies without asking and using them, only to make excuses when it happened.
Fortunately, the OP’s parents seemed to listen, and hopefully, the OP won’t need to sign back in and write a post about something like this any time soon.