It feels like wedding requests have gotten a little out of control.
A wedding is meant to a joyous time, to celebrate love and hope.
People come and join in a union.
How far are people suppose to go though?
In distance? In money? In support?
In appearance?
Case in point…
Redditor Practical_Button_982 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA for taking my daughters side in an argument?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I don’t want to make people read a book so I’ll do my best to keep this short. :)”
“A close friend (33 F[emale]) of mine (38 F[emale]) is getting married, I will call her Mandy.”
“She asked two of my daughters (19 and 20) to be her bridesmaid together with 2 of her cousins.”
“Her cousins are both blond with blue eyes.”
“My first daughter is blond with beautiful green eyes and my youngest has a dark brown hair with beautiful brown eyes, just like my husband.”
“Mandy asked my youngest daughter to color her hair (with some L’oreal product that you put on your hair and go out in the sun) a lighter shade and put in blue or green eye contacts so all the maids of honor would match.”
“My daughter is refusing to do both.”
“My daughter will never put anything in her eyes, she is very sensitive and simply can’t.”
“And she has never colored her hair and loves her natural color.”
“She explained this to Mandy, but Mandy absolutely refused to accept these ‘excuses’ and yelled at my daughter, claiming she was self-centered and rude.”
“After she was done yelling, my daughter simply said, ‘You are self-centered, conceited and shallow and I will not attend your wedding.'”
“After this, my eldest daughter said that she won’t be attending either.”
“Mandy asked me to confront my daughters.”
“But I took their side and told her very calmly that she can’t expect everyone to agree to do anything she wants just because she’s getting married.”
“She was not calm and just kept on yelling and arguing.”
“My husband came home in the middle of our argument.”
“Mandy then asked my husband to ‘talk some sense’ into us, but he agreed with my daughters and was very angry when my daughters told him all that happened after Mandy left.”
“Her family and friends wouldn’t stop calling and texting my daughters and insulting them.”
“They also told my husband and I that we were bad parents and raised such ‘Divas,’ uncaring and selfish daughters.”
“I feel like my husband and I did the right thing in standing up for our daughters.”
“But a lot of people in her family disagree.”
“Were we wrong to take our daughters side?”
“Are we the AH?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“How on earth does every confrontation on reddit end up with the victims being called/texted by people they barely know, non-stop?”
“I’ve messed up plenty in my life and it has never ended in phone calls and texts from groups of people siding with the other person.”
“Snarky, passive aggressive social media posts by the other party and a best friend once – but hardly a parade of people I know or don’t know who need to tell me their options.” ~ Mental_Chapter_7559
“Literally do a group text and call out all the hypocrisy.”
“And everything going on and then block every single freaking person hassling all of you.”
“And good for you for raising a daughter who is as self-Assured as she is to refuse to be bullied good parenting there.” ~ MacaroonHead5187
“This is the thing.”
“I have never known anyone outside of middle school who would participate in a pile-on like this.”
“To many people it’s weird that anyone would do it, much less a group of people.”
“Kind of like running into a string of posts where bunches of people all have nine fingers.”
“You wonder where they all came from since you’ve only met maybe one nine fingered person in thirty years of your life.”
“And here’s 34 of them in a few reddit posts.”
“Also, communication (or blocking) seems to not exist in posts like this.”
“Type out a stock ‘She wanted my daughter to change her natural hair and eye color just to match other people because apparently normal human variation clashes with her idea of necessary wedding aesthetic.'”
“‘Daughter decided not to participate in the wedding if that was a requirement. Which is well within her rights.’”
“And post it/copy paste in reply to anyone you don’t block.” ~ Meghanshadow
“As an aside: Sun-In and it’s variants will fry anyone’s hair and turn dark hair orange at best.”
“So she’d ruin your daughter’s hair for the look she wants and not even get the look she wants anyway.”
“She’s an idiot. NTA.” ~ producerofconfusion
“NTA. I cant believe you are even posting on here to ask!!”
“She isn’t your close friend anymore.”
‘How dare she demand your child change her hair color and eye color to match some Aryan fetish of what is beautiful.”
“Who tries to physically change the appearance of people so they match hair and eye colour.”
“You match dresses, shoes in weddings not actual physical appearance.”
“If she wanted that then she should have selected someone else.”
“How dare she ask your child to permanently change her hair colour for a one off event.”
“How dare she make a young woman doubt her looks.”
“How dare she yell at your daughter and call her self-centered and rude.”
“That yelling and those words alone are the reason why she is an ex friend now and you shouldn’t even go to this wedding.”
“Good on your daughter for standing up for herself and for her sister for having her back.”
“Good on you for standing up for her and good on your husband too.”
“But see this through – this is no longer your friend and you cannot accept how your daughter was spoken to.”
“And lol at the family and friends of hers calling your kids divas – that what your ex best friend is.” ~ Big__Bang
“NTA even in the slightest.”
“Who does Mandy think she is?”
“Insisting that your children wear contacts and color their hair just so they match her cousins for a photo?
“What a load of nonsense on Mandy’s part.”
“Anyone who thinks your daughters are ‘divas’ is flat-out wrong.”
“Mandy is the diva with that ridiculous behavior.” ~booksandmints
“NTA. Why is Mandy so hellbent on ruining your daughter’s natural hair??”
“And all for a wedding?
“My first thought is she’s worried that your daughter is gonna be the one to stand out if they don’t all look the same.”
“My second thought implies something way more severe and this subreddit isn’t the place to talk about it.” ~ weenymybeeny
“NTA, but your friend is and my goodness is she a major Bridezilla!”
“Who expects people to dye their hair and wear coloured contact lenses!”
“Good for you all for standing up to your friend.”
“I would not go to her wedding either after her shocking behavior.” ~ Various-Bridge-325
“NTA. How would you be the a**hole?”
“I can’t imagine how your daughters weren’t 100 percent justified.”
“They should be supported.” ~ Kris82868
“Nope. NTA – Mandy and her flying monkeys can kick rocks.”
“Y’all don’t need friends like that.”
“Block ’em ALL and plan something fun with all the money your daughters are saving by not being bridesmaids (spa day?).”
“Can’t say any of this bodes well for Mandy’s marriage, though.” ~ cherrypie4breakfast
“NTA. Brides pick the dresses for their bridesmaids. Nothing else.”
“They don’t get to tell people to change their hair or eyes or anything else.”
“When she called your daughters divas, she was projecting.”
“At first I was wondering why she picked your daughters.”
“Since they are so much younger, I find it hard to believe that they all hang out together.”
“But, I guessing this lady doesn’t have many friends.” ~ BlueRFR3100
OP came back with more deets…
“Update: I have seen a few comments about the post and I just wanted to explain a few things.”
“English is not my first language (sorry about that).”
“The reason she chose my daughter’s to be her bridesmaids is because they’ll be doing her hair and make up.”
“And she needs them close to her for any touch ups she may need.”
“This is not the first negative interactions we have had with Mandy, but this time it was just way too extreme.”
“The few people that are bullying us are not strangers, more like acquaintances.”
“They know us and think my daughter should have made these sacrifices for the bride.”
“That is also the reason I made this post.”
“These people know us and still chose to behave this way.”
“I started doubting myself and wanted the opinion of a third party.”
“We will not be attending the wedding and Mandy is going to need to find someone else to do her hair and makeup.”
“All the bullies are blocked.”
“We all know each other, and she made sure to get everyone she knows to bully my daughters, my husband and I.”
“That is why I’m asking strangers if I actually should have acted differently?”
“I wish people would stop acting like brides are the goddesses of the universe.”
“And stop doing unreasonable things for brides or taking their side just because they’re a bride.”
“Thank you all so much!!”
Seems like you and your family have this handled OP.
Reddit is clearly with you if you have anymore doubts.
No doubt you’ll find something more fun to do that day.