Becoming and staying sober is a major feat that should be celebrated.
But some people don’t particularly appreciate the work and dedication it takes to be successful, pointed out the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor brisketbirb wanted to be able to attend their sister’s wedding but knew they would need to drink something non-alcoholic to make it through the event.
But when they were accused of trying to draw attention to themselves for this, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if they had actually done something wrong.
They asked the sub:
“AITA for drinking a half-gallon of milk at my sister’s wedding?”
The OP was recently sober and attending their older sister’s wedding.
“I (a woman) quit drinking 4 months ago, and my oldest sister Emmy’s wedding was last weekend.”
“My younger sister Sara has been really supportive of me getting sober, and she actually packed me a little cooler bag of nonalcoholic drinks for the wedding when she knew there would be an open bar and wanted me to have other options.”
The OP thought their younger sister’s choices were adorable.
“She’s 15 and doesn’t have a car or anything yet, so she just packed this bag with drinks from around the house. But it was still sweet.”
“Anyway, at the wedding, I looked in the bag and there were a few iced coffees, a few juices, and a half-gallon of milk.”
“Now, she knows me a little too well. I’d drink milk with pretty much every meal, I know it’s a little weird for an adult but what can I say, I like it?”
The OP accidentally drank all of the milk.
“So I poured myself some when everyone else was drinking alcohol.”
“And I guess I was feeling nervous and a little tense being in a group where most people were drinking heavily for the first time since I’ve gotten sober, so I kept fidgeting and nervously drinking from my cup.”
“Honestly a lot like how I’d compulsively drink alcohol in the past.”
“Before I knew it my uncle was like, ‘D**n, you just drank all that milk?’ and he was pointing out the empty bottle.”
“I was like, ‘D**n, guess I did.'”
The OP was surprised by the attention this received.
“My uncle started calling everyone’s attention to that? Which was kinda embarrassing because I’d just been doing it to avoid liquor.”
“But I guess it became a running joke among everyone there. Like, people just started talking about it? IDK why, it honestly doesn’t seem that interesting to me.”
The bride was not happy about the milk discussion.
“But anyway, the day after the wedding, Emmy confronted me saying that she didn’t appreciate the ‘stunt’ I pulled.”
“I was confused and she said that she heard I drank a gallon of milk and didn’t puke.”
“I said it was a half-gallon. She didn’t find that funny and was convinced I was doing it as a joke.”
“She doesn’t believe me that I wasn’t trying to draw attention or play some dumb prank.”
“Like even as a prank, it makes no sense. What’s funny about drinking a slightly weird amount of milk? It’s kinda boring.”
“But my parents are taking her side and think I did something s**tty.”
“AITA for drinking a half-gallon of milk at my sister’s wedding?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were upset that the bride and family were turning this into such a problem.
“Good for you for staying sober!! Things like weddings can be super triggering. Frankly, I’m surprised that they don’t seem to be focusing on that point.” – Sea-Ad3724
“NTA. I guess I can understand her initial irritation if she heard about it and it was interpreted as you drinking a gallon of milk as a stunt. The old Telephone Game at work.”
“But once you explained the situation, that should have been the end of it. At that point, it makes it the bride’s problem that she refuses to believe you and stays mad at it, and your uncle/everyone joining in on gossip is an a**hole.” – TessyDuck
“NTA. Your sister heard half of what she was being told and jumped to a wild conclusion out of her own insecurities.”
“Right now, the only one making an issue of it is her. Tell her that if you feel compelled to do so. But ignore her accusations. With time, she may realize how silly she’s being.”
“If the other family members ask about it, be honest, but most of all be calm and direct about it. Like, ‘She seems to be under the impression I was drawing attention to myself. I was not.’ People tend to believe the person who doesn’t get dramatic in a situation like this, for better or worse.” – UnqualifiedIT
“Geez, your sister needs to pull her head out of her butt. She’s got a great story to tell, no? Speaking of butts, your parents need to butt out.”
“Congrats to you for running with it, it ended up being both a coping mechanism and fun for the guests. You didn’t go in with a plan to be disruptive. It just unfolded.”
“Stay strong, you rock and totally NTA.” – AgitatedJacket9627
“NTA. If my brother were four months sober, my wedding would be a dry one and if anyone had an issue with that they’d be uninvited.”
“I’m not a big drinker, so maybe I’m an outlier, but I’m pretty sure my family members who do drink regularly would be 100% supportive of it. Because ultimately my brother is more important to me than booze.”
“At four months, it’s really impressive you were able to be around people drinking at all. At the VERY LEAST, they could have had a second drinks area for the non-alcoholic drinks, especially if there were kids other than your sister there.”
“Your family all suck, except for your little sister. Keep her around!” – Piebandit
Others pointed out that there was nothing weird about the amount of milk they drank.
“NTA. Congrats on recovery! I’m at a year, and it does get so much easier.”
“Family should be happy and showing you support. Grown adults who know you’re in recovery don’t call you being nervous at a wedding a ‘stunt.'”
“Weddings are nervewracking, and people drink to excess at them, both triggers for most people in recovery.”
“I have a feeling someone saw what they thought was weird, exaggerated how much milk you drank, and people thought you were doing a prank (drinking a gallon of milk in under x amount of time).”
“If she knows you’re sober, explain when she’s cooled off. If she doesn’t, tell her if you’re comfortable.” – gonzothegreatz
“Congratulations on your sobriety! You’re already through those first 90 days, you deserve all the recognition!”
“You said, ‘I kept fidgeting and nervously drinking from my cup. Honestly a lot like how I’d compulsively drink alcohol in the past.'”
“This is SO normal! One of my best friends is almost a decade sober now and he can put away a case of soda water in one sitting and he’s not a very big dude. He says it’s definitely because of his binge drinking in the past.”
“You’re doing great and your little sister sounds so sweet. Enjoy all the milk you like!”
“Also, weddings are literally the BIGGEST trigger for addicts, especially newly sober ones, tied only with funerals. You did amazing, don’t let your family make you feel bad. I’m so proud of you.” – bookynerdworm
“NTA. I was raised in a household where we had a glass of milk at every meal because my mother was raised that way too. There are 4 kids in my family and 2 of us will still go for a cold glass of milk as our preferred meal drink, while the other two no longer really drink it at all.”
“It wasn’t until I was an adult on social media that I learned so many people have such strong feelings about milk. It was just my normal.”
“I would think it a little odd to just be sipping away at milk at a wedding reception, but I honestly wouldn’t judge you for it.” – Breadcrumb-Forest
“NTA. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and he was obsessed with milk for years. He could kill a gallon in minutes. It WAS a running joke because drinking that much milk feels weird to people.”
“That being said, this story is adorable. Your little sister is the best and your uncle is a dud for making a big deal out of it, especially when he likely knows that you’re in recovery.”
“Social events can be hard and milk is tasty. Live your life.” – changeneverhappens
“NTA. Chugging a gallon of milk without puking was a YouTube challenge a while back. It was not successfully done often. It was also usually done by guys under 21 because well, they are guys under 21 and think they are the ones who will avoid puking. They don’t.”
“Your sister and parents are still caught up in the stress and drama that often come with a wedding and not thinking rationally. You got some important information on how you behave in a social situation where alcohol is present, namely, that your drink when you are nervous and having a readily available non-alcoholic drink available for you to just keep pouring into your glass helps.”
“Hey, being over hydrated is better than hungover, so good job. And good job staying sober at the wedding. That was a milestone. Be proud of yourself.”
“Hopefully, as your sister and parents decompress they will return to rational thought and realize you were just gulping down the milk out of social anxiety and realize they were being AH when they should have been supporting and celebrating you staying sober.”
“Your uncle is an AH to calling attention to your nervous milk drinking and making it a thing. I would avoid that uncle until you are more secure in your sobriety and triggers.” – Letters_from_summer
“First of all, congratulations on your sobriety and for staying sober when everyone around you was drinking copious amounts of alcohol!”
“Secondly, your little sister is so adorable and sweet and kind-hearted. Don’t let your older sister ruin that with her s**tty attitude.”
“Lastly, you are 100% NTA in any way. Your uncle sucks for making a big deal out of nothing, and your sister sucks for being angry and thinking you were pulling a stunt when you were literally just trying to survive while being there for her big day.”
“Good on you, my friend. For what it’s worth, I’m really proud of you.” – imafulla**human
Proud of the OP for being sober and staying strong at the wedding, the subReddit couldn’t understand what the big deal was with the milk. Their family really should have been happy for their achievement, rather than worrying about this being some kind of stunt.