Halloween brings out a mischievous side to many people. Children especially can get really into the spirit.
Redditor halloweenthrowaway9’s son was no exception as the child seemed really excited for candy. However, his greed may have gotten the better of him, as the original poster (OP) had to teach him a lesson.
This caused a little division between OP and their husband, who thought OP was too harsh. OP decided to ask the “Am I the A**hole” (AITA) subReddit if they went too far.
Was their punishment too much trick over some treats?
“AITA for making my son pass out the candy he got from trick or treating because he was being rude?”
Maybe he was little too in spirit of the season.
“My son is 9 years old. We went trick or treating like we usually do and the night was going well except when we got to a house that had a bowl of candy sitting on the porch It said ‘Take 2 please’.”
“He puts his whole hand in there and grabs about 6 pieces.”
“Of course I corrected him, and made him put 4 of them back, explaining be needed to leave some for the others. From then on he had an attitude, and the last straw was when I told him to stop grabbing so much candy from people and he screamed ‘No!’.”
“We had only been out for about an hour so I took him right on home. Took his candy bag, dumped it in a bowl and told him to come sit outside on the porch with me.”
“He objected of course, as kids came by and took handfuls of his candy. He complained they were taking too much and I told him that he shouldn’t have done the same then.”
“His father came home from work, asked why he was in his room crying, to which I explained why. He said it was really cruel to give away the kids candy just because he was taking a little too much.”
“I said he needs to learn to not be so greedy to which my husband said that ‘Its ok, it’s Halloween’.”
“He said I was being a jerk, and that I should cut some slack for the one holiday that kids get to pig out. I don’t agree, although I figured I could’ve done this differently. AITA?”
OP provided a little more information about how much candy was given away.
“Edit: No, I did not give away the entire bowl. And even if I had, I would have had no problem providing him more once he learned his lesson and apologized.”
OP’s husband definitely felt they could have handled things differently. But how bad was OP’s punishment really?
Other Redditors judged OP by including one of the following in their comments:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
OP’s punishment didn’t have their son give away all the candy. And there should be some repercussion if he kept trying to take too much candy after being told not to.
The comments agreed that OP was NTA for her punishment.
“NTA. The outbursts are what get me. When he screamed no, more specifically.”
“It sounds to me like a test of boundaries, as if he knew perfectly well what was expected of him and purposefully crossed the line in order to see if his behavior would be corrected. And you did that.”
“He learned a lesson when he became resentful that other kids were taking too much, that’s what his behavior looks like but from the view of others.” – whothefisrachell
“NTA, although I hope you did save some candy for your son. He’s past the age where he should know how his greed affects others, and seeing it in action was probably a lesson he’ll remember.”
“Temper that lesson with a few treats later and a discussion, and I think it’s a good parenting moment overall.” – grecianviolet
“NTA. Way to be a good parent and teach your kid to be considerate of others and respect rules.”
“He’s not going to be scarred from this, in the end of the day it’s just free candy in a world of overabundance and it’s not like he’ll never get candy again, it’s a hard lesson but hopefully a lesson learned.” – novanugs
“NTA I pass out king size candy but unless it’s the end of the night, everyone only gets one.”
“Conversation with one of the kids: Me: Pick any 1 you like. Kid: 2? Me: I said 1. Kid: So 2? Me: Nope 1. Kid: Well I want 2. Me: And that’s why now you get zero. Get off my porch.”
“I gave his portion to his sister. Some kids need more boundary lessons than others.” – DerbyDogMom
Other commenters had a debate about the efficacy of OP’s punishment. Some felt it was too harsh, while others felt it was fine.
The comments continued this discussion long after judgement was rendered.
“Some of these comments are very strange. Cruel? Cut contact over candy? This was an entirely proportionate consequence for poor behaviour.”
“Missing out on candy on one occasion is not a significant punishment, it is related to the poor behaviour and completed immediately (i.e. no ongoing punishment). This is entirely within the parameters suggested by child behaviourists.”
“Too many children don’t have parents or guardians who care about them enough set reasonable boundaries with proportionate consequences like this. Definitely NTA.” – ExistentialistTeapot
“YTA. I was completely on board with you making your son put back the extra candy and ending trick or treating early. However I think making him give away all of his candy to other kids is crossing the line.”
“A lot of people on here are forgetting that this child is 9 years old. Yes he’s not a toddler but that’s still a very very young age and sometimes they are being unreasonable that’s cause he’s a kid.”
“I would’ve taken away his candy and made him earn it back with good behavior. I think the lesson you were trying to teach your son is a valid one but the execution towards the end was bad.” – packerbacker2828
“I disagree with you. I wouldn’t have been as strict as OP, but she’s not an AH for it.”
“Unless there are beatings or clear-cut emotional abuse, I’m not going to tell a parent how to discipline their kids.” – kmfdmretro
OP’s son hopefully understood the message behind the punishment. If not, this would just seem like a waste.
Maybe OP’s husband can have a talk, both with OP about their position on parenting, and with his son about why you shouldn’t take more candy than you’re supposed to.