People’s homes are their sanctuaries.
When one is invited into another’s sanctuary, there is a certain expectation from the homeowner that people will be respectful of their property.
Inevitably accidents will happen, especially when young children are involved.
Items will be broken.
Walls will get scuffed.
Food will get thrown.
It’s not the end of the world.
Some parents could be more attentive with their little ones in someone else’s home.
So who takes responsibility if something gets broken?
The homeowner or the guest?
Case in point…
RedditorJolly-Case93 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for asking my brother to pay for the statue his son broke?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My girlfriend (Sarah – 28 F[emale]) and I (25 F) moved in together about a year ago.”
“We invited my side of the family over for dinner.”
“My nephew (8 M[ale]) is a walking tornado.”
“As I suspected, despite me already telling my brother that our place is now packed with fragile objects and decorative items and that he should keep an eye on his son, my nephew broke a glass statue.”
“More like a sculpture. It was Sarah’s favorite item in the house.”
“Sarah and I are honestly tired of my nephew’s carelessness around objects in and outside our home.”
“So, for the first time, we asked to be paid for the damage done.”
“My brother is furious and thinks I am being a major AH and a horrible sister.”
“He says I should consider his finances because we’re family.”
“He said he couldn’t afford it.”
“I said I was fine with installments, and he still thinks I am an AH.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“The kid is eight and old enough to know better, yet young enough your brother should have been watching him more responsibly.”
“If he were at a store, they would have made him pay for it. NTA.” ~ Turbulent_Bad_3849
“They aren’t eating anything.”
“They’re sending the broken item back to the manufacturer/documenting its destruction per the supplier agreement and getting a refund/replacement product.”
“The manufacturer is eating part of the cost, that they write off on taxes, and depending on the product, potentially fully repairing it and selling it as pre-owned if possible.”
“Some stores certainly still have a rule still, but even many smaller retailers will have the return to vendor option on a lot of their merchandise.”
“Outside of a place that sells things like non-mass produced art, most stores don’t lose much, if anything, on the broken product.”
“Forcing customers to buy broken stuff might be just in some sense, but it’s never something retail wants to do, and they’ll do a lot not to do it.” ~ AsgeirVanirson
“NTA. Your brother needs to be realistic.”
“He can’t let his kid run around and break people’s things.”
“He’s lucky it was someone willing to work with him this time.” ~ CielloGames
“I strongly suspect the brother would keep a much closer eye on his kid in one of those places, but the brother said it himself since this is family his kid should be allowed to run around and break things and the brother shouldn’t be expected to pay for the damage.”
“It’s incredibly rude and OP is NTA for asking his brother to pay up.”
“Maybe he’ll learn he has to keep an eye on his kid wherever they are from now on.” ~ the_skies_falling
“NTA. Some disagree as they think you’re at fault for inviting a known walking tornado to a place with fragile objects.”
“However, it is your home and you have every right to decorate it the way you want. You pre-warned your brother – that should have been enough.”
“Your brother was remiss in not teaching his son boundaries.”
“Honestly, I’ve seen literal toddlers who know better than your nephew.”
“8 years old is old enough to be taught respect for other people’s belongings and accountability for actions.” ~ Dorkhette
“NTA. Your nephew is going to find out the consequences of his actions eventually.”
“Thank goodness he’s still at a young age to change his habits.” ~ BloxTD_02
“When my grandson was that age, he had to go out on a dive boat with his dad (captain) because there was no daycare available that day.”
“It was so cool– a client on the boat gave him a $50 tip for helping with the dive equipment, etc.”
“That night, little grandson threw something in the house and broke a window.”
“The look on his face when dad said, ‘There goes your tip!'” ~ Ok-Thing-2222
“NTA… your brother should consider YOUR financial situation.”
“Also, it’s his fault for raising that tornado of a child.”
“All the blame is on him, and your actions are all called for.” ~ zingerzanzer
“Preach. As the owner of one child tornado, I know better than to take him to my friend’s houses.”
“Example: A friend of mine has a pretty cool funky pop collection that my son is enamored by.”
“They look like toys, but I know she loves them and cares for them.”
“The minute he gets within 5 ft of one, I’m on his a**.”
“There’s no excuse. OP is NTA. Brother is just a lazy dad.” ~ Extreme_Egg7476
“NTA. It’s your right to decorate your house as you please and your brother’s responsibility to teach his son boundaries.”
“You had already warned your brother to keep his son under control.”
“At 8 years old, the boy is old enough to learn to respect other people’s stuff.” ~ Last_Muffin_1354
“NTA. Perhaps if your brother is held accountable, he might decide to give his son the level of supervision he clearly needs to avoid damaging others’ property.”
“You did try to avoid damage by moving the smaller pieces.”
“You have the right to decorate as you choose, and your brother is responsible for his child.”
“And really, 8 is too old for ‘tornado’ behavior while in someone else’s home.”
“Your brother may need to work on his parenting.” ~ badpandacat
“NTA – when my son was 2, he broke my mom’s TV.”
“I also couldn’t afford it, but I replaced it ASAP.”
“His son is old enough to know better.” ~ Seashed_
“NTA. Unless this kid has a disability, eight is old enough to control yourself in someone’s home.”
“Even if he is neurodivergent, his parents should be setting boundaries and monitoring.”
“When my kids were toddlers, they had tornado phases.”
“If they ever broke something in someone’s home, I would offer to pay immediately.” ~ Loud_Ad_6871
“NTA – Reminds me of my sister and my niece, I had a nice $200+ scale model which my niece thought was a toy, and then launched it down the stairs.”
“My sister didn’t bother reimbursing me because it was an ‘accident.'”
“If I were to actually tally up everything, my sister would owe me quite a bit of money.” ~J esterace77
“NTA. His son needs to be careful around other people’s belongings, and by not offering to pay you for it the second it broke, he showed he has no respect for your home.” ~ tantalustroupe2
“NTA, your nephew is old enough to know better.”
“He should be at a point where he can be trusted.”
“If not, why is your brother not watching him.”
“To those saying, ‘You know what he’s like and you should move things.’ Why?”
“It’s OP’s home, she shouldn’t have to rearrange everything in the hopes that nothing gets damaged.”
“If this is a common occurrence, I can understand now demanding a payment.”
“There’s only so many times you can let it slide.”
“Perhaps even just the threat will make your brother actually parent his child.” ~ Dry-Depth-4693
“NTA. Unless you take them to small claims or something, I wouldn’t hold your breath on getting that money back.”
“However, I would tell them their son is officially no longer welcome in your home until he can learn to respect other people’s spaces.” ~ whatthefrelll
“NTA. 8 is too old for that level of careless accident. Any decent parent would offer to replace it or keep a much closer eye on their kid if they knew they can’t afford to replace things.”
“I say this as a parent to a very active 6-year-old who needs to have a very close eye kept on her because I can’t afford to replace stuff.” ~ HisssHisss
“NTA. As a parent, it’s the brother’s responsibility to ensure his child does not break/damage other people’s property.”
“And in the event it should happen, he most definitely should pay to have the item fixed (if possible) or replaced.”
“If your brother is complaining about not being able to afford it, maybe that’s a sign he should not take his child anywhere until he can either…”
“A) afford to replace broken items…”
“B) teach his child to be more careful, or…”
“C) watch his child better. Or better yet…”
“D) all of the above.” ~ wigglepie
“NTA – Your brother’s being a terrible parent. Not only he doesn’t take responsibility for his kid, but also he could’ve gotten hurt. It was a glass statue. What if it fell on him or cut him?”
“This could’ve ended a lot worse than it did.” ~ Independent_Cookie
OP had more to say…
“Someone said I should mention that the statue was quite heavy actually.”
“I’m surprised he managed to break that in the first place, which to me screams that he is doing this on purpose, which is why I’m extra upset.”
“It was about 5 feet tall, laminated plate glass.”
“He broke it by ‘accidentally’ hitting the table while he was running, and the table swung, making the statue fall.”
“I didn’t see any of it.”
“I just walked into shattered glass so I don’t know how much of that is true, given it was heavy.”
“It cost around 4K, and it was Sarah’s favorite.”
“It is not the first time my nephew destroys something Sarah likes.”
Well, OP, Reddit is clearly with you.
It is ok to be upset when others act out in your home.
And when people break your things, it is not out of the ordinary to expect compensation.
This could very well turn into a situation that causes a family rift.
Which is very unfortunate.
Hopefully, your brother takes responsibility.
Good luck.