Gender norms are being smashed on the daily.
We can all do it all.
That seems to be the new life message.
But not everyone is getting the memo.
Is this maybe too progressive a thought when it comes to kids?
Case in point…
Redditor Key_Effective_2260 wanted to discuss his experience and get some feedback. So naturally, he came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
He asked:
“AITA for having my daughter do ‘guy’ chores and telling my wife to stop babying her?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I am married to my wife and have four stepkids.”
“We have been together so long that I consider them mine, and really I am the only father figure they know. Biodad is not involved at all. “
“They all call me Dad.”
“Now the oldest is 15, and the youngest is 8.”
“The two oldest are guys, and I taught both of them stereotypical guy chores, fixing cars, cutting grass… etc.”
“I started both of them when they were about 10.”
“My daughter Annie just turned 11.”
“When she did turn ten, I did start teaching her more hands-off stuff since she was small.”
“She is bigger now and stronger, so we had our first lesson on cutting the grass and how a lawnmower works.”
“She did really well (a little worried she would lose control of the mower since she is still short, but my fears were unfounded).”
“She did the whole yard, and I’m quite proud of her.”
“My wife had a fit, though. We got in an argument about teaching her guy chores.”
“That she is too young (the other two kids started before her age).”
“I told her that she needs to stop babying her and that she needs to know how stuff works.”
“She called me a jerk and left.”
“Also, yes, the guys can do household chores.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“I wish my father had taught me ‘guy chores.’ NTA.”
“Not HAVING TO depend on a man to do basic household stuff is a godsend.” ~ ixixan
“Neither feminism nor misogyny will help you cook when you’re hungry, nor change a tire when you’re stranded.”
“These are just general life skills everyone should know.”
“I too wish my dad taught me ‘guy chores.'” ~ HellhoundsAteMyBaby
“There’s a channel on YouTube called ‘Dad how do I?'”
“Where this guy teaches things fathers usually teach their sons for boys without dads.”
“One of the most wholesome things in the world, honestly.”
“Edit: Geez guys thanks but make sure you subscribe to this guy’s channel too and maybe send some love his way.” ~ RedApple-Cigarettes
“NTA. Out of the blue, You should bake a cake with your daughter just to confuse your wife.” ~ drmoesta
“Yes! Both my boys love cooking and baking, AND they have learned how to change tires and engine oil.”
“I have had them doing their own laundry since they could reach the buttons on the machines.”
“This is just basic adulting and has nothing to do with gender. NTA, by the way.” ~ Revolutionary_50
“NTA. Teaching girls how to change tires and fix plumbing issues or mowing their own grass is beneficial to them later in life, NOT having to be reliant on a man.”
“Teaching young men to do laundry or sew or teaching them how to cook makes them better all around people.”
“Your wife is wrong, as she’s willing to allow the girls to be reliant on men.”
“A self-sufficient PERSON is a more desirable person, and they’ll have a better grasp on real adversity later in life.” ~ HellBoundWhiskeyBent
“This I F[emale] was a very curious kid.”
“Got in a lot of trouble for stealing my dad’s screwdriver so I could take apart appliances so I could put them back together.”
“The toaster and kettle etc.”
“My dad was a handyman and when I was old enough taught me how to rewire a plug and where to properly hang shelves. I even got a soldering set for Christmas one year when I was 10 so I could build circuits.”
“I went into finance as a career, but I am one of the most capable people I know.”
“Hole my shirt, sew it up. The dryer is acting up; replace the fan.” ~ Different_Rutabaga27
“Chores are chores. There aren’t a guy or gal chores.”
“Every skill is important in life. NTA.” ~ 000-Hotaru_Tomoe
“Exactly, me and my brothers all know how to do basic home maintenance and how to impress a date with a clean house and at least 3 decent home-cooked meals.”
“That’s called teaching your kids to be a success.”
“My dad was so proud when a toilet broke on Christmas Eve at my house, and I didn’t need to call a plumber for an emergency (aka expensive) appointment.”
“And he was equally proud when my brothers made his mother’s secret recipe of lasagna for that Christmas afternoon.” ~ Technical-Soup1595
“Exactly. My daughter sure as sh*t is going to know how to change a tire when she’s old enough to drive.”
“As the man of the family, I also do any sewing that needs doing, and my sons sure as s**t going to learn that too.”
“I can’t cook for s**t.”
“My wife used to be a chef and has already started teaching our 11-year-old son to cook.”
“They argue about it, but he’s learning and has cooked for me when I’ve been ill.”
“The more skills you have, the better your life will be.” ~ Wasteland-Scum
“NTA ‘guy chores?'”
“Give me a break.”
“Chores are chores, and everyone needs to know how to do all of them.” ~ boilergal47
“There was a gender division when my kids were younger, but it was purely accidental.”
“My girls and I didn’t do outside lawn/garden work because we all have terrible allergies!”
“My son and his dad did not.”
“So we called them ‘allergy chores’ and ‘non-allergy chores.'”
“We all shoveled the snow, though!” ~ CreativeMusic5121
“Oh no! Teaching your daughter independence! Such a bad dad!”
“Anyhoo..please continue teaching your daughter everything you know.”
“My mother and I were the handy people around the house.”
“When I moved out, she bought me my own toolbox, and every birthday and Xmas for a few years after that she would help me fill it up.” ~ terpischore761
“NTA. I was the oldest and happened to be a girl.”
“My dad didn’t let that stop him from teaching me how to mow, garden, change my car oil, fix a flat tire, tape drywall, install wallpaper, and fix minor plumbing and electrical problems.”
“It has saved me so much money over the years.”
“Your daughter will thank you when she is older.” ~ Spectrachic9100
“NTA! You are teaching her how to manage her own household.”
“I don’t mow these days… but I absolutely can.”
“And that matters.”
“Just like boys need to be taught laundry and cooking because they need the skills. Full stop.” ~ PracticalPrimrose
“NTA. Sometimes the enforcers of misogyny are women.”
“There’s no such thing as ‘guy’ chores.”
“There are chores that some people can do, and others they can’t – sometimes from a lack of knowledge, sometimes from a physical limitation such as an injury or disability.”
“Being a girl is not a physical limitation to chores.” ~ Kettlewise
“NTA. I’m a woman, and my dad never taught me anything.”
“My grandpa did teach me a few things, but not the ‘main ones’ as I was a girl.”
“It f**ks me over every time, and I get stuck with a super high unnecessary bill from fixers.”
“Teach her how to fix sh*t, how to check for mistakes, teach her every ‘manly’ job you know and force your wife to teach every ‘womanly’ job she knows to your sons.”
“Life is full of s**t and the better prepared you are, the less of your paycheck goes towards shit that could be avoided.” ~ Dangerous-Quarter-43
“NTA – There are no ‘guy’ chores or ‘girl’ chores.”
“There are just chores.”
“When Annie is an adult, she will thank you for teaching her how to do these things.”
“I am from an older generation (58) and female.”
“My father taught me to fish, use power and hand tools, shoot guns safely, and all of those things.”
“He also wouldn’t let me get my driver’s license until I demonstrated I knew how to check oil, fluid and change a tire.”
“My brothers and brothers-in-law taught me to ride motorcycles, change my own oil and protect myself (as much as my strength allowed).”
“These were just things we did in my family — and it’s worked out well for all of us girls who grew up to be very independent women with strong relationships.” ~ Punkinsmom
“NTA – you are setting her up to be strong and independent.”
“This is how it should be done.”
“I knew how to change a tire, change brake pads, check and add oil, put on tire chains, and drive stick when I got a permit at 15.”
“In addition to other practical skills around the house/yard.”
“I am so grateful my dad did that.” ~ Latter-Shower-9888
“NTA there’s nothing wrong with your daughter learning how a lawnmower works just as there’s nothing wrong with your sons knowing how to load the washing machine or use an iron!”
“Your wife is the jerk.” ~ Littlevoice13x
“NTA. A girl should learn how to mow a lawn.”
“Change oil in a car. Change a tire.”
“And jump-start a dead car battery.”
“All important things she’ll need to know how to do.” ~ Starry-Dust4444
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
Chores are for all.
It’s good to know how to do as many things as possible in life.
Change a tire.
Sew a shirt.
Make a cappuccino.
These are all life essentials, no matter the gender.