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Teen Sparks Drama After Telling Her Stepsiblings That Her Half-Sister Isn’t Really ‘Their Family’

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Blended families can get complicated when there are multiple relationships involved.

A 15-year-old girl is dealing with a tangled mess caused by expectations from stepsiblings and the reality of her relationships with her half-siblings. She turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.

Redditor PuppyLuvvu asked:

“AITA for telling my stepsiblings my sister isn’t their family which is why she never gives them gifts or takes them places?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I wanna try and keep this short if I can. I (15f) have two half-siblings—one from each parent.”

“I have a sister from my mom and a brother from my dad. My sister and I are incredibly close.”

“She’s 27 and we have been extra close since our mom died when I was 8. She and my dad aren’t related.”

“My parents only had a brief thing and had me so [my sister] and my dad never had much to do with anything and they’ve had some issues regarding me and her role in my life. But she has visitation rights to me.”

“My sister isn’t anything to my dad either. They were never steps.”

“My parents were never married. And he wasn’t in her life at all until my mom died and she had to go through him for a relationship with me.”

“My sister didn’t really want anything to do with him either so it’s pretty mutual but they don’t really have a reason to connect. They were never really in each other’s lives. I would just appreciate if he stopped trying to interfere in my relationship with her.”

“My dad got married five years ago and I have two stepsiblings. My stepsister is 9 and my stepbrother is 7.”

“So they know I have a sister and they know my dad has a son that has never been around. I never actually met my half-brother and he has no interest in a relationship with me and he has no relationship with our dad.”

“It has always bugged my stepsiblings because they want the older big sibling who buys them stuff and takes them places so ever since they accepted my brother would never be part of our lives they have obsessed over my sister.”

“She has never been in their house. She gives me gifts outside the house and has never met them.”

“The thing is they are not her stepsiblings which is why I don’t see the big deal in her not including them.”

“This is something my dad and sister fight over because he doesn’t want her taking me and leaving them and he doesn’t like when she buys me things and doesn’t get them anything.”

“It got really hated this Christmas because my sister got me this really great gift and booked an (unspecified date) weekend at this cool waterpark whenever things are back to normal so we can have sister time.”

“My stepsiblings were really upset and jealous and they asked why they couldn’t go. My stepmom told me I should pass on the weekend with my sister to spare their feelings and she told me to share my other gift with them because they’re younger and don’t deserve to be left out completely.”

“It got to me, the asking why my sister doesn’t include them and I ended up telling them that it’s because they’re not family, she’s mine through my mom and so that’s why we know each other but they don’t know her or get anything from her. They got upset and wanted to know why she wouldn’t want to adopt them as siblings.”

“I’m not really close with them and haven’t tried to be that big sister for them. I consider my sister my only sibling honestly.”

“I have thought for a while now that the way [my father] tries to interfere in the relationship with my sister that I might not have a relationship with him forever and I don’t really want the struggle of trying to maintain a relationship with the kids if I don’t maintain one with him (or his wife because she is definitely not going to be in my life forever).”

“Now I’m in sh*t with my dad and stepmom. She told me I was mean to them and didn’t need to rub it in their faces that my sister rejects them.”

“AITA?”

Redditors weighed in on the situation by declaring:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided the OP was not the a**hole.

“NTA your sister isn’t anything to your Dad’s step kids.”

“If your mom were still alive she would buy you stuff and not her ex-husbands wife’s kids. Same thing.”

“Talk to your dad and have him advocate for you, if he won’t then just stop sharing information with them to make things easer until you move out.” ~ greenbean999

“Your dad and stepmom are actively causing problems though, while your sister just seems to want a relationship with you.”

“They should be explaining to their kids why your sister has a different relationship. They’re going to grow up thinking they’re entitled to anything anyone else has.” ~ TheSilverNoble

“If the sister was just OP’s friend would the parents pitch a fit if OP’s friend got her gifts and demand she share them too? OP can’t go to a movie with friends unless steps go too?”

“That’s incredibly unfair.”

“Taking a 15-year-old on a weekend to a water park is an entirely different thing than taking a 9 and 7-year-old. OP’s parents are being ridiculous.” ~ brerosie33

“NTA – It probably should have been explained to them properly by your dad/ stepmom so they could understand from a younger age and so you wouldn’t be in this awkward position.” ~ GabriellaLHeys

“When I was 15 the most difficult convo I had to have with my little siblings was about why they couldn’t have extra dessert before bed and maybe a few times reminding them that we didn’t have the money for some of the things they’d beg for.”

“You should not have this responsibility on you. Obviously there’s probably a way better way to explain your family dynamic than what you did, but you shouldn’t have been put in that place to begin with.”

“You aren’t the adult in this scenario, you don’t owe them tact or any explanation frankly. Your stepmother and father owe them the explanation, and all backlash that inevitably comes with such a situation.”

“Please let your sister, who seems to be your ‘trusted adult’ in this situation, know what’s going on and how you are feeling. I’m sure she will have a lot more support and advice than your guardians at the moment.” ~ amandapandab

“Honestly, you’re 15. If your sister is willing and you want, you could probably have her file for custody so you don’t have to deal with your dad and stepmom.” ~ nyorifamiliarspirit

“At least I’m no longer wondering why OP’s brother cut contact with their dad.” ~ Darktwistedlady

While the OP is in a difficult position because of her father and stepmother refusing to explain the situation properly to her children, Reddit is clearly on her side. Hopefully her stepsiblings will be told the truth soon.

Amelia Mavis Christnot

Written by Amelia Mavis Christnot

Amelia Christnot is an Oglala Lakota, Kanien'kehá:ka and Metis Navy brat who settled in the wilds of Northern Maine. She considers herself another proud Maineiac. Her picture is from 1984 for purely Orwellian reasons.