We all want to believe the best in people.
And we all want to help when we can.
That’s the best part of humanity.
But sometimes, humanity is just going to disappoint.
Case in point…
Redditor yunilerwn wanted to discuss her story for some feedback. So naturally she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
She asked:
“AITA for asking my friend to please Venmo me back after I gave him money for a plane home?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My friend (20 M[ale[) and I (19 F[emale]) both go to school in the US, but we are both in a foreign country in Europe to gain work experience.”
“The internship is unpaid, but the school provided a small stipend to pay rent for those with financial need.”
“My friend and I both got the stipend.”
“We have a week and a half left here.”
“My friend suddenly told me he needs to fly to Austria to see his mother (he’s a citizen of Austria, but our school is in the US) because she’s sick.”
“She had cancer in the past, and he said they think it might have come back.”
“He has no more stipend money, so he asked me to loan him $110 for the plane.”
“I found out he’s actually in Paris with his girlfriend.”
“My other friend showed me his private Instagram story.”
“His mom is fine.”
“I got upset at him since he deceived me.”
“And he admitted it and said ‘but you wouldn’t have given me the money if I told you the truth.'”
“I said he needs to give me back the money so I can eat, because I’m stuck here another week with basically no money for food.”
“He is ignoring me now, and my other friends are saying it’s warranted because of my harsh words for him.”
“I literally have like $15 to eat for a week and a half.”
“I need the money so I don’t starve alone in a foreign country.”
“But they’re acting like I’m being an unreasonable person for demanding it, and he isn’t answering.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA?:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared our OP was NOT the A**hole.
It’s a tricky situation.
Let’s hear some thoughts…
“NTA but contact his parents and ask for the money.” ~ PattersonsOlady
“But don’t let on you know about the lie.”
“DM his mother sincerely.”
“‘Hey, Marcus told me you were really sick, I lent him money for the flight back to see you, but I haven’t heard from him.'”
“‘Did his flight arrive safely? He was so worried about you and going on and on about how he couldn’t afford to go see you.'”
‘”So naturally I lent him the $110 he needed to make sure you were okay.'”
“‘I just haven’t gotten an update from him so I wanted to check on you myself.'”
“‘He said your cancer is back, how bad is it?'”
“‘Do you need anything? How can I help?'” ~ sparrowhawk75
“Yes. But OP should also add on that ‘he promised to pay me back ASAP.'”
“‘And I have almost no money left for food, and since I haven’t heard from him, I’m really worried about both of you.'”
‘”As I know he wouldn’t leave me without food money unless something was wrong.'” ~ Pencils_
“All of this and ALSO CONTACT THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE OF THE PROGRAM AND DO THE SAME THING!”
“ONLY TELL THEM THE TRUTH!”
“SAY, ‘I gave him money to go home to be with his mother but now I’m struggling for food money.'”
“‘Then, I found out he took my money, went to hang out in Paris w/his girlfriend and he won’t pay me back.'”
“‘Are there funds for emergencies I can access?'”
“Document it all. That little turd abused the program as well as you.” ~ odetteroulette
“Yes- THIS! Make sure to do ALL of that.”
“Print off those text messages and when his mom asks you about it send them to her.”
“When the people running the program question you, email copies to them.”
“And, OP, those ‘friends’ of yours who are giving you grief over this- have any of THEM offered to help you with grocery money? NO?”
“Then they aren’t your friends, it’s as simple as that.” ~ Tinlizzie2
“Piggybacking on top comment in hopes OP will see.”
“Send another text to this jerk.”
“Tell him he pays you back or you’re going to your University and notifying them of his deceit and refusal to pay you back.”
“Tell him it will go on his academic record, might cause issues for future opportunities—whatever you need to say to scare the crap out of him.”
“And chances are, the school will want to know if students are preying on each other.”
“But the point is, scare him.”
“Hopefully, he’ll cough up the money.”
“I’m sorry this happened to you, definitely NTA.” ~ PocketsWouldbeNice
“But also, what was OP thinking?”
“Literally left without money for food?”
“It’s one thing to feel sorry for someone and cover their travel expenses (ostensibly to see their sick mother).”
“It’s another thing to do that at the expense of you being able to eat.”
“OP’s need to eat comes before the desire of someone else to travel.”
“NTA, but OP needs to learn to prioritize basic survival.”
“OP needs to do whatever is necessary to get that money back.” ~ Boeing367-80
“NTA. He lied about why he needed it and not just that, but he used a fake cancer scare as the excuse so he could go see his GF.”
“That kinda lie is just manipulative and dirty.”
“Why didn’t his gf pay for him?”
“And him saying he knew you wouldn’t have given him the money otherwise proves he knows it was wrong.”
“No amount of harsh words from you makes what he did ok.”
“I’d be blowing up his phone and social media until he gave it back.”
“Probably the gf’s too.”
“If he blocked me, I’d start telling all his friends how he used his mother to steal money from me.”
“He is no longer a friend.”
“All bets are off.” ~ Blonde-Engineer-3
“NTA. Exactly what I was thinking.”
“Contact his mom and say how sorry you are to hear that she’s sick and hope that he landed safely at home w the money you lended him.”
“Oh wait, mom’s not sick?”
“Where did your friend go with your money then after using poor mom’s cancer as an excuse to steal money?”
“Let mom try and figure out the story.” ~ anntheyam
“I wonder what would happen if you called his mother looking for him.”
“Like, explain that you lent him money to come see her because she’s sick, and you hope she’s ok, but you need to ask him something regarding school.”
“I wonder what her reaction would be?”
“Yes, that’s petty.”
“I wonder how his mom would react if she knew her son was lying and using her past cancer to get party money out of people?”
“You = NTA, of course.” ~ MasterChicken52
“I disagree. Yes call the mother, but tell her the truth of what happened and send her screenshots, etc.”
“No need for further subterfuge as that will make OP look bad when all the truth comes out.”
“It always does.”
“Personally, my first reaction was, if the mother is so sick, why isn’t his family paying for his ticket?”
“OP NTA.” ~ whiterose3hearts
“NTA- This person isn’t your friend.”
“He used you for money and is leaving you with nothing to eat so that he can party with his girlfriend.”
“That’s not a friend.”
“He owes you the money, and he likely will never give it back.”
“Never loan him anything.”
“And until he gives it back with a very sincere apology about how wrong he is then you don’t need to associate with him.”
“Is there a food pantry near you?”
“Or a church, mosque, or synagogue that runs a soup kitchen?”
“Any sort of aid or emergency voucher the school can give you?” ~ JetItTogether
“NTA. I’m curious what you said to him cause I can honestly imagine nothing you could have said which would have made your so called friends take his side in this.”
“Honestly give him an ultimatum either the money is paid back or it goes further.”
“The further being screenshots to his mother, your school (they may have some code of conduct regarding moral character of students) and social media so he can be publicly shamed for lying about his mother being sick to get you to pay for a holiday for him.”
“Oh and besides that I would try contact the university or somewhere to see if something can be done so you don’t starve.”
“Edit: also this may just be me just being a bit angry overall about this situation but hey if these friends keep shaming you despite having all the facts in front of them.”
“They may be in for some shaming on social media too.”
“Because honestly anyone who defends this guy for what he done isn’t much better, especially if they’re pressuring you into not getting the money back.” ~ fatherted98
Well you are in a spot OP.
A lot of good advice on finding food here.
Don’t go hungry.
And do all you can to get your money back.
Don’t give up.