Some service workers in your life become constants. You go to the same hairdresser, or hire the same contractors when you need help on projects around the house.
And you grow to like and depend on those people sometimes. So when they sass you, it can become jarring.
Redditor chopitoffalready was very startled when her hairstylist laughed in her face when she wanted to get a haircut. After refusing to do the requested haircut, the woman walked out of the shop.
The stylist did not take it well.
Wanting to know if she acted out of turn, she went to the popular subReddit “Am I The A**hole?” or “AITA” for feedback from objective strangers:
“AITA for storming out of my hair appointment without paying?”
Our original poster, or OP, talked about her prior relationship with “Talia.”
“I (22F[emale]) have been seeing the same hairsylist, Talia, for a few years now, and because we always chat during my appointments, she knows the basics of my life.”
“I have always had long hair, sometimes going a bit shorter (shortest has been to my shoulders), adding bangs, adding layers, etc. Nothing crazy.”
“Well, I had an appointment yesterday and I decided to go for a super short pixie cut. For reference, this is one of the photos I showed my stylist.”
“My stylist was shocked, but then she made a joke like ‘Oh no, this is breakup hair, isn’t it?’ I was weirded out by that but I confirmed that yes, actually, my boyfriend of a year and I broke up a few weeks ago, but it had nothing to do with my hair.”
“She then tells me that she really doesn’t want to cut my hair that short, because my hair is so nice (her words, I don’t really care) and it would be a ‘waste’ to cut it.”
“She then remembers that I’m going to be my sister’s Maid of Honor in a couple months, and that I’ll have graduation in the spring, and she said that I’ll regret having short hair in the photos.”
OP wasn’t necessarily interested in her opinion, which Talia did not take well.
“Honestly I was pretty offended at that. As a grown woman whether or not I regret a hairstyle down the line is none of her business, as long as she does the cut well.”
“She told me the shortest she would go was a long bob, and so I told her that I would be leaving, as that’s not what I want.”
“She tried to get me to pay the ‘cancelation fee,’ as now she was going to lose the 2 hours booked, and what I would have paid.”
“I told her that wasn’t my problem, and I left anyways. On my way out, she told me I wasn’t welcome back.”
“I relayed this story to my friends today, and the response was mixed. A couple people told me she was just trying to look out for me in case I did regret the haircut, and that after the past couple years, me walking out may have really hurt her financially.”
“I feel really torn. I don’t like conflict, but I really felt like Talia crossed a line when she refused to do my hair the way I wanted.”
Anonymous strangers weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
People thought OP was entirely within her rights to have walked out.
“If a professional who has a long standing relationship with you, thinks that you are making a poor decision I do think its appropriate for them to speak up.”
“This stylist went too far with the out right refusal but I think a lot of stylists would push back if you wanted to make a radical hair change which they thought wouldn’t look good.”
“Asking for a cancellation fee pushed the stylist way into the a**hole category though. Dumb move if she originally wanted to maintain the client relationship.”-starchy2ber
“NTA, as I see it the terms you both agreed to are she cuts your hair to your specifications and then she gets paid.”
“Once she refuses to fulfill her part of that, you’re no longer obligated to pay the full amount.”
“If there’s a cancellation fee, then she needs to show you somewhere where you agreed to that, but also a cancellation implies that you broke the agreement, when in reality she did, so I’d say even that’s debatable at best.”-Sockadoo
“I’m sorry but I’m not going to argue with the person who I am paying for a service about the hair style I chose.”
“OP is a grown a** woman, if she wants a pixie cut that’s her prerogative. I can see the stylist confirming once that’s what she wants knowing there is big events coming up but after that either perform the service as requested or tell OP they aren’t able to do so.”
“OP was well within her rights to leave after being infantilized by the stylist, especially since they wanted the cancelation fee when they weren’t willing to preform the service.”-ExperienceSea820
“NTA. You don’t pay a cancellation fee when you don’t cancel. Your stylist simply refused to provide the service for which you were paying so you left. Perfectly reasonable, completely ethical.”
“If I walked into a restaurant where I had a reservation and they told me they wouldn’t be serving me any food, I would leave and not expect a ‘no show’ charge on my card.”-HeartpineFloors
As a paying customer, people think OP reserved the right to leave the service without being charged.
“NTA. You’re paying for the cut you want. She refused, it was her choice not to cut your hair, so you shouldn’t have to pay the cancelation fee (she is essentially the one who cancelled on you, not the other way around).”
“If she’s really that hard up for money, she shouldn’t be refusing to cut people’s hair.”-minicooperlove
“NTA but it probably doesn’t matter. I can’t see why you would book with Talia again or why she would consider having you back.”
“I’m guessing Talia’s refusal was due to other clients getting angry after giving them exactly what they requested.”
“I think she was within her rights to refuse to do something she wasn’t comfortable with but asking for payment after refusing was out of line.”-pumpkinbubbles
“NTA – you were paying for a service, she refused to provide the service, so you left. You didn’t cancel, she refused to give you the cut you wanted.”
“It’s fine that she brought up the concern about regrets, since part of her job is to ensure people have a cut/style they’ll love, and people sometimes make impulsive choices they regret. But once you confirmed you were sure, that should have been the end of it.”-JustAReader924
“NTA. I actually went to a different stylist when I cut my hair into a short pixie back in the Spring. I did this specifically to avoid the ‘Are you sure???'”
“Question I was sure to be 10,000 times from my prior stylist. The new person confirmed once or twice; I only remember the one time before the buzzing began.”
“Chopped my hair short, zero regrets. I get stylists having experience of what will work / what will not work and wanting to proceed with caution for big changes.”
“I’m sure they’ve been screamed at if the person they’re cutting the hair off of doesn’t like it. But at the end of the day…thats a decision and possible mistake for the person getting it cut to make.”-keyofeflat
And the hairdresser was out of line.
“NTA If she wants to use her experience and expertise to ensure you are sure about a drastic change, that is one thing.”
“But you don’t owe her anything if she flat-out refused to do what you were asking. You were planning to pay for a service; she chose not to provide that service. That’s on her.”-athomefarfromhome
“NTA – It’s okay for her to look out for you, but it’s ultimately your choice. If you hate it, then oh well, hair grows out.”
“I understand that sometimes it’s good to listen to a stylist’s opinion, but they shouldn’t flat out refuse to give you a hair cut you want.”
“My stylist let me get a pixie cut at 15, and I’ve had that hair cut for 6 years. She cut my hair into a bob length at first to make sure I was okay, then she did it. Not everyone regrets it.”-Lizardd06
“NTA. You are paying for a service. It’s okay if she wants to make recommendations, but if she refuses to provide the service you are paying for then she doesn’t get paid.”
“It’s completely the stylist’s fault for not getting paid. She refused to provide the service you requested.”
“I know it’s not quite the same, but if I go to a restaurant and order the steak it’s fine if my server wants to recommend the fish.”
“However if I still order the steak and my server brings me the fish or no food at all, I’m not paying for that as that’s not what I ordered. Again, I know it’s not the same but I feel it’s kind of similar.”-muskiesfan1
“NTA. Talia is lucky you didn’t leave a review about the quality of her services in addition to not paying the cancellation fee.”
“It’s one thing to advise someone against something (especially since you’ve had years to get to know one another) but the way she went about it was supremely condescending.”
“Also, the only reason you refused to pay was because she refused to do her job. It’s not your fault you cancelled, it’s 100% hers.”-Loving_Hate
“NTA. You didn’t get any service and you didn’t cancel so no you don’t owe her anything. And if she doesn’t want your custom anymore after she was highly rude, that’s her call.”
“Oh and she lost herself the money by being rude.”
“You know that saying ‘the customer is always right’? Many folks think that that’s a blank check to make demands and get your way.”
“It’s not. But this kind of scenario is exactly what it’s about.”
“If a customer wants to shave her head, or wear pink when you think it’s an ugly color, that’s the customer’s choice. You can kindly and respectfully suggest a slightly different hair cut or a different shade of pink but if the customer decliines the suggestion then that’s that.”
“The customer is always right when it comes to their choices for their own body.” – Annual-Contract-115
“NTA. Stylists don’t want to cut a drastic change like that sometimes. If you hate the hair, you then hate the salon and the stylist.”
“They want you to love your hair and come back and rave about them, so it’s understandable that she pushed back against it.”
“They also can have you sign disclaimers about these kinds of things (drastic cuts, color correcting, bleaching, etc.) when the client is insistent on a certain style or color, especially since you really wanted the cut.”
“She was too pushy and adamant not to cut when she had other avenues. Trying to make you pay a cancellation fee because she wouldn’t cut your hair though is what makes her TA.” – Tobikens
“You did the right thing. The stylist was completely out of line, and honestly so were the ‘friends’ of yours that tried to justify the stylist’s sh*tty behavior.”
“She refused to give you the cut you wanted and instead gave you unsolicited life coaching.”
“Cancellation fee for you being inconvenienced by her refusal? I think the f’k not.” – TeddyBeartholomew
“NTA for sure. Girl works in the service industry….you perform the service your customer asks if you are able…”
“If you refuse to perform a service for personal reasons the customer shouldn’t be on the hook to pay you….the hairdresser said she could not perform the service that the client wanted and the client left, end of story.”
“Plenty of fantastic hairdressers out there looking for new clients.” – Neither-Appointment4
Ultimately, though everyone understands Talia’s intentions were good, she crossed the line when she outright refused and also infantilized OP.
OP’s hair, OP’s choice. OP can live with the consequences as an adult.