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Teen Angers Dad By Refusing To Let Him Sleep In Her Room After Mom Kicks Him Out Of Theirs

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Everyone needs a good night’s rest for a productive next day.

And where we lay our heads is an important piece of the evening.

But sometimes the sleeping arrangements become a serious issue.

Case in point…

Redditor Lunna_Kiwi wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for telling my dad he can’t sleep in my bedroom?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“My (17 F[emale]) dad (49 M[ale]) had an argument with my mom (46 F) yesterday.”

“I don’t know what it was about, but my dad then went to my room and said (demanded, really) that he was going to sleep there with me.”

“Even though I’m a teenager, one of my parents sleeping in my room, and vice-versa, isn’t that uncommon, since they have conflicting sleeping schedules.”

“However, my dad wears a very HEAVILY scented lotion to sleep, something my mother has been complaining about ever since he started wearing it.”

“To make matters worse, I’m incredibly sensitive to smells.”

“They give me intense migraines and sometimes panic attacks.”

“That was why I said he couldn’t sleep here.”

“He ordered me to go sleep with my mom.”

“But when I got to her room to explain the situation, she confronted my dad and said that I was going to sleep in my room by myself.”

“My dad exploded and went to sleep in the living room.”

“And I went to sleep in my bedroom.”

“In the middle of the night, my dad came to my room again to sleep, which woke me up.”

“So I went to my mom’s bedroom, and he went there to tell me to go back to my room.”

“I said no and slept the rest of the night there, and haven’t spoken to my dad since.”

“And I just wanted to clarify that there is a spare mattress in my room, they aren’t sleeping in bed with me.”

“So, AITA for not letting him sleep in my room?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. Also, the concerning thing about your dad sleeping in your room is not scented lotion.” ~ Jillskillingit

“Yeah. The scented lotion isn’t my concern either.”

‘There are far more concerning potential outcomes.” ~ Andrea_frm_DubT

“The problem here is that OP’s father is not respecting that OP deserves a place to sleep uninterrupted.” ~ diagnosedwolf

“The marital problems that OP described aren’t enough?”

“Mom and dad have an argument.”

“Dad decides he’s going to bunk in with the kid. Kid objects.”

“Now dad decides that he’s going to insist that kid bunks with him, because otherwise (in his thinking) he loses face.”

“This is exactly how so many stupid marital arguments play out.”

“If it was ‘dad insists that kid sit at the table and eat dinner with dad instead of going outside to eat with mom,’ everyone would see precisely what was happening.”

“Dad is being an a**.”  ~ diagnosedwolf

“OP mentioned that it’s culturally normal for kids and parents to share a bedroom, so that’s not inherently weird.”

“That being said, what’s really weird to me is that he wanted her to sleep in the same room as him, rather than respecting her choice to sleep in her mother’s room.”

“Like, regardless of culture, that’s just weird.”

“And I don’t know of any cultures where it’s somehow less acceptable to sleep next to your same sex parent or another family member as opposed to an opposite sex one.”

“OP is definitely NTA and has the right to sleep wherever and however she’s most comfortable.”  ~ totes-mi-goats

“Fark NO! NTA.”

“He can sleep on the couch.”

‘Your parents should not be sleeping in your room or entering it uninvited at all.”

“You’re not concerned about the fact he’s a grown man wanting to sleep with his daughter?”

“That’s creepy and very inappropriate.” ~Andrea_frm_DubT

OP responded…

“I get the concerns, but I’m not American.”

“And in my culture/country it’s not very common for people to knock before entering.”

‘I’m used to it, so it doesn’t bother me that often and if I complain they will only think I’m hiding something from them.”

“I guess I just never saw it like that, he has never done anything weird or creepy to me though.”

Reddit continued…

“Dude I was 40 F and he was late sixties last time my dad visited my studio apartment.”

“And we shared a double bed and didn’t touch and the times I wanted to sleep on my lounge chair was not protested.”

“I’m not saying your dad is necessarily a creep or that parents and children sleeping in a bed or room together needs to be weird, but your dad is clearly controlling on some level which worries me. NTA.”  ~ weddingcurmudgeon69

“NTA. Your dad had the perfectly fine option of sleeping in the living room.”

“So the fact he specifically chose your room shows that he is not being respectful to your own personal space.” ~ beluuuuuuga

“NTA. It sounds like your Dad wanted to sleep in your room as a way to drag you into the fight between him and your Mum.”

“Like if she was going to kick him out, he was going to take it out on you so she won’t kick him out anymore.”

“I suggest moving the mattress out of your room.”

“Also, talk to your Mum about what your Dad did.” ~ JoJo-likes-bikes

“If I was him I’d buy an airstream, fill it with stinky lotions and stop bothering my children like an a**hole.”

“In fact, the very last thing I want would be trying to sleep in a teenager’s room that sounds awful.”  ~ dadrewbear420

“Your Dad should not be involving you in the least.”

“He should have been a man about and slept in the living room and not take things out on you.”

“You’re also 17 yrs old, not a little kid and there’s absolutely NOTHING appropriate about him sleeping in your room.”

“I hope to God there are 2 beds in your room.”  ~ FlexibleMorality1

“I’m very relieved to read that there’s a spare mattress.”

“It’s still ridiculous though.”

“Why are they even involving you in their marital discord by making you directly deal with the consequences?”

“Also why isn’t your dad willing to compromise on the lotion?”

“If you want to make a gesture of goodwill, consider inviting him out with you for a day of checking out different lotions at a mall, dept store, Sephora, whatever.”

“Make a day of it.”

“It’ll probably be nice for both of you.”

“NTA obviously.”  ~ oooyomeyo

“People need to drop the concern about them sharing a room in general though.”

“Multi generational sleeping is common in many cultures… not just sharing a room but even a bed with parents/grandparents.”

“This is a very Americanized way of thinking.”

“While I would never share a bed or room with either of my parents ’cause I’m American and it’s weird as f**k.”

“I understand that it’s actually more common culturally speaking than our weirdness about not sharing.” ~ gorenglitter

OP added…

“I don’t love having to share a bed or a bedroom, but I don’t have an issue with it if it can’t be avoided.”

“Also, the way people are calling my father creepy just because we’ve slept in the same bedroom is quite sad to me.”

“Sure, he was wrong for not respecting my privacy, but that doesn’t make him a bad person in general.

Reddit continued…

“NTA. What is concerning is that he didn’t want you to go your mum’s bed, even though you have good reason to.”

“I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt but more a case he’s an AH trying to use you as a tool in his fight.”

“Him to your mum – ‘See our daughter can sleep fine with the smell, you’re just crazy,’ and unfortunately for him, you are proving him wrong.”

“Tell your dad to stop involving you in the arguments, you are not on his side because the lotion does make you feel ill too.”

“Tell him to stop trying to prove otherwise.” ~ Proud-Complex-5267

“I think your Mom had the same issue.”

“The heavily scented lotion and asked him to sleep on couch but he came to your room and asked to sleep there.”

“You also said no for the same reason and that hurt him”

“This is all assumption on my part and I can’t say anything about why he back to your room or your mom’s. NTA.” ~ Timely-Atmosphere-99

“NTA. Get the spare mattress out of your room and insist on a lock for your door.

“They shouldn’t be sleeping in your room, that’s your space.”  ~ ImpossibleBlanket

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

Those sleeping arrangements don’t seem to be the best option for anyone.

Hopefully, in the future, your parents can figure out logistics after an argument without involving you.

Good luck and rest well.