It’s strongly recommended these days to live with someone before deciding to marry them, just in case the person exhibits any deal-breaking behaviors, to avoid the ramifications of a divorce.
But sometimes the things that people don’t find to be a dealbreaker shock other people, agreed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redidtor Alarming_Jump_1311’s parents allowed his older brother’s girlfriend to move in with them, and she recently showed some alarming behavior toward the minor.
When his older brother sided with her and blamed him for what she did, the Original Poster (OP) wasn’t sure what to think.
He asked the sub:
“AITA for not opening the bathroom door for my brother’s girlfriend while in the shower?”
The OP’s brother’s girlfriend was particular about her bathroom use in their home.
“I (16 Male) live with my parents, as well as my brother (20 Male) and his girlfriend (20 Female). We will call his girlfriend ‘Paige.'”
“Paige moved in with us about a year ago since her parents wanted her to pay rent.”
“Now, we have two bathrooms, one with a shower and one without. Since moving in, Paige has made it very clear that she doesn’t like the smaller bathroom. She would rather wait until the person is done with the larger one (the one with a shower) than use the smaller one.”
“Whatever, I don’t really have a preference, so I usually use the small one to prevent drama.”
All was fine until the OP needed to take a shower.
“Anyway, a couple of days ago, I had just come home from a long run, and I was gross and sweaty.”
“As soon as I got into the house, I went to the larger bathroom to take a shower.”
“Everything was fine until I heard banging on the door. Mind you, I was mid-shower, fully naked, and covered in soap.”
“I asked the person banging what they wanted, and Paige answered, ‘Let me in, I have to pee.'”
“I was shocked and asked her, ‘Is the other bathroom being used?'”
“She sighed, exasperated, and said, ‘Just f**king let me in!'”
“I told her no and that she could either use the other bathroom or wait her turn.”
Paige did not like that response at all.
“She started banging on the door and cursing me out. This went on for about five minutes.”
“I just tuned her out and continued with my shower.”
“When I was done, I just assumed she relented and used the other one, but I was met with a warm, wet surprise when I stepped into the hallway.”
“Paige had p**sed on the floor and didn’t even clean it up.”
This led to a big argument.
“I was angry then. Not only did she harass me while I was showering, but she also left a disgusting mess that could have been avoided if she just used the other bathroom.”
“I stormed to her and my brother’s room, and we got into an argument, the gist of it being ‘This wouldn’t have happened if you just opened the door’ from her (and later my brother), and ‘You were invading my privacy and left a big gross mess’ from me.”
The argument escalated and impacted Paige’s living arrangements.
“Paige ended up telling my parents everything except the p**sing on the floor part.”
“They were already on my side, to begin with, but when I told them that final detail, they were livid.”
“They almost kicked her out, but after they calmed down a little, they told her she’d have to find somewhere else to shower because she was no longer allowed to use the big bathroom.”
“Now my brother is not talking to me, and his girlfriend is telling everyone I was a manipulative a**hole who almost made her homeless.”
“I don’t think I was the a**hole, but maybe she is right?”
“What do you think? AITA?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some reassured the OP that he was totally NTA for what happened.
“NTA. You were a naked minor, and she was a fully clothed adult. This gives me creepy vibes.” – 2badstahpMRSA
“NTA. It’s not her house, she’s female, and you’re male, and you’re a minor.”
“Who the f**k urinates on the floor over the age of two?! Who the f**k does she think she is not being accountable for what she did, not paying her parents’ rent, and throwing her weight around at the home of someone being so gracious to allow her to stay rent-free?” – Stunning-Field2011
“NTA, this girl is a freak. She hates the other bathroom so much she’d rather p**s on the floor? What in the actual f**k?”
“That is psycho behavior; no normal human would ever do something like that.”
“Not to mention the wanting to get in the bathroom while a minor is showering. She’s disgusting.” – DarkSpeedster74
“Probably Paige: ‘Oh my god, my boyfriend’s underage brother is soooo manipulative. He was taking a shower and wouldn’t get out to open the door for me to pee. There was another bathroom, but it wasn’t the one I liked. So I peed on the floor after yelling at him for 10 minutes. Then when I explained it to their parents, he made sure to also tell them about me peeing on the floor. He’s such a d**k.'”
“I have no idea how OP even remotely had to question if he is the a**hole. This is as clearly NTA as it comes. Was there a bunch of stuff he left out? Or is the truth of Paige’s projection really obvious that she is super manipulative and spoiled?” – TheNeoKGuyMaybe
“NTA. Not even a little bit. You were taking a shower, for f**k’s sake. She’s acting like a spoiled brat. It was extremely rude of her to be banging on the door while you were in there. She needs to grow the f**k up.”
“And her p**sing on the floor is absolutely disgusting. And completely unnecessary. And she didn’t even clean it up. What the f**k is her problem? Good luck to you!” – Embarassed-Math-699
“Definitely NTA, but your brother’s girlfriend is a MAJOR one. I honestly don’t think her response could have been any more childish or absolutely spoiled seeming.”
“I hope your parents kick her out and that your brother comes around. Because, seriously, red flags, dude. Red. Flags.” – xJennaStark
“NTA. I don’t care if pee is generally f**king clean, it’s a body fluid, and you stepped in it.”
“Given the ages, that you’re a minor and she’s an adult, it makes it so much worse.”
“She’s an adult who tried to bust in on you while you were naked and, frankly, vulnerable, and upon being denied entry, she p**sed in the hallway like an unneutered alley cat.”
“Ask your parents for a room lock. Predator or not, this woman should not be around you and needs therapy, etc.” – RattusRattus
“How can she (and your brother!) possibly think she’s right?”
“She’s basically a guest in your family’s house. She wanted you to get out of the bathroom while you were mid-shower. She kept insisting and banging on the door. She REFUSED using the other bathroom…”
“She ended up PEEING on the floor… and DIDN’T CLEAN UP her pee! Somehow your brother thinks she’s right… And now she is badmouthing you everywhere.”
“NTA.”
“Tell EVERYONE what SHE did (peed her pants in your parents’ house and DIDN’T clean up after herself) and stress that THAT is what almost made her homeless. Not you.”
“Telling on her would be a definite JAM (Justified A**hole Move).” – DoIWantToKnow6417
Others agreed and questioned why the parents didn’t kick Paige out right away.
“NTA. Her parents must be so relieved to have her out of their home.” – Perfectpomelo3
“Someone pees on the floor, and they don’t kick her out? I’m questioning your parents the most in this story. Why haven’t they kicked her out? NTA.” – Fear_The_Rabbit
“Is the second bathroom infested with spiders? An outhouse? What kind of random madness is this?”
“How did you manipulate her when she came to a bathroom you were already in and started trying to get you out? Were you supposed to stay in there while she peed? Stand in the hallway soapy and naked? I have so many questions.”
“NTA. Your parents are kind. Anyone who p**sed in my hallway and then left it there would never be allowed back in my house. Make sure you share that detail with all the folks she’s telling her oh-woe-is-me tale to.” – LoadbearingWallflowr
“NTA to you and your parents.”
“Now, your brother and his girlfriend are another story. She needs to be kicked out; she is entitled and rude. I think it was more than being made to pay rent that caused her to leave her parents’ house.” – demon803
“NTA. She wanted to get in the bathroom with a naked minor, kept harassing said minor for five minutes, and then p**sed on the floor. I know why she doesn’t live with her parents, and it was neither her choice nor because of rent.” – B_art_account
“NTA. You need to have another talk with your parents. You are a minor and their child.”
“They are responsible for providing you with a safe (physically and emotionally) place to live. They are not responsible for housing your brother’s ADULT girlfriend.”
“And Paige’s continued hostility towards you is unacceptable.” – Forward_Squirrel8879
“NTA. I’m surprised your parents didn’t follow through with kicking her out with that kind of behavior.”
“Banging on the door and insisting on using that particular bathroom while someone was naked and showering when there is another perfectly good bathroom free is immature, invasive, and extremely entitled.”
“Her peeing on the floor in response is just seriously messed up.”
“She would be out of my house that day if she pulled something like that.” – Opinionated321
“NTA and ew. It may be time for your brother and Paige to get their own place. She may be disappointed by the small size of your average apartment bathroom, though!” – sharirogers
Though the OP’s own brother was siding against him and accusing him of almost getting his girlfriend kicked out of their family home, the subReddit believed Paige and the OP’s brother had another thing coming.
It was already inappropriate for someone to try to bully their way into a bathroom someone else was using without their consent, but peeing in the hallway and not cleaning it up, were concerning, escalated behaviors.
Add in the fact that all of this happened with a minor present, and Paige should feel lucky that she was only being told to use a different bathroom and shower.