We all have very different relationships with food.
Some people are in the enviable position of simply being able to eat just about anything, but managing to keep their diet balanced and under control.
Others however, have to be more careful about their eating habits, not being able to stop in certain situations, or causing trouble with their weight, cholesterol or blood sugar.
Upon the advice of her doctor, Redditor Odd-Implement-3127 became much more conscious about her eating habits in an effort to stay healthy.
Something a friend of hers felt was not only unnecessary, but offensive, even going as far as to taunt and belittle her about it.
Wondering if what her friend was saying was true, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for being on a diet?”
The OP first explained how both she and her doctor noticed a changer in her health and diet, resulting in her making immediate changes.
“For some backstory, I (17 F[emale]) recently started a diet.”
“One of the reasons for this is because I binge eat when I’m stressed.”
“I’m an IBDP student and the program is very demanding.”
“On top of the workload from the IBDP, I’m also doing online school (CNED) to get my French Baccalaureate so I’m basically stressed about school 24/7.”
“I gained 10kg since I started the IBDP and when I went to the doctor, I was told that I was slightly overweight for my height.”
“I expected this since my diet basically consisted of pure junk food and snacking in secret.”
“I also have knee problems because my hips are deformed which causes my kneecaps to grind against each other and cause a lot of pain.”
“For all these reasons, I decided to lose weight over the summer.”
“Over the course of 4 weeks, (summer break) I lost 5kg.”
While most would find these changes to the OP’s lifestyle an improvement, a friend of the OP’s did not think these changes were for the better, and wasn’t afraid to say so.
“Two days ago was the first day of school and my friend ‘Alex’ who was diagnosed with clinical obesity, this becomes relevant later, commented on how I looked skinnier and asked me if I lost weight.”
“I said yes and they asked me ‘Why would you do that you’re already skinny’.”
“So I explained to them that I was overweight and had knee problems as well as my issue with binge eating.”
“They proceeded to tell me that binge eating was not a thing and that I should eat until I feel satisfied and not ‘starve’ myself because a doctor told me to.”
“Alex believes in intuitive eating and believes that dieting is a scam.”
“They told me that I was borderline anorexic and fatphobic and that me losing weight is actually offensive to them because I’m showing them how much I don’t want to look like them.”
“I didn’t even change my diet that much, I just ate smaller portions of what I generally eat so I don’t see the big deal.”
“Yesterday at school they put a burger on my plate, we’re allowed to order food from outside, and told me to eat it.”
“I told them that I didn’t want to and that I try to only eat junk food on the weekends.”
“They said that they were concerned for my weight and went to the teachers who then sent my parents an email about body image and possibly seeing a therapist.”
“We explained the situation to them and my teachers agreed that this was simply a misunderstanding.”
“Today, Alex came up to me and told me they didn’t want to be friends with me because of my fatphobic tendencies and because I was practically body shaming them by trying to become skinnier.”
But I’m not even trying to become skinnier, I’m just trying to lose weight and become healthier.”
“I think they are exaggerating the situation but I don’t know.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for going on a diet and being mindful of her own personal health.
Everyone agreed that it was clear that “Alex” had serious problems and it was their own insecurities regarding body perception which caused their unsettling behavior.
“Your friend has serious issues that need to be addressed.”
“It is never ok to judge someone else’s eating habits or force them to eat/starve just because you disagree with their habits.”
“It sounds like your friend is very body conscious and insecure but are pretending not to be, which is why they feel threatened by you losing weight.”- Just_passing_time321
“This person is harassing you.”
“You explained to them you were changing your meals under doctors advice.”
“They then, personally harangued you, accused you of prejudice, misrepresented your situation to teachers to get your parents involved, pulled a public stunt of presenting you with a hamburger.
“Finally, after presumably being updated by teachers that she was wrong, comes marching up to you to make a dramatic ‘unfriend’ and presumably to make you plead that you’re not fatphobic etc.””
“I do believe it’s a great result if you can get them to leave you alone, and spend more time with others more supportive of what you’re trying to do.”
“Maybe see if you can go on some walking meetups?”- SienteElBern
“Insecure people do insecure things.”
“Alex should prob jump on board tbh.”- headkicks
“I too am a recovering binge eater.”
“Heart disease runs strong in my family and when I was 22 I weighed 260 lbs.”
“And I was getting daily chest and left arm pains from my weight so I made the choice put in the work and drop 120 lbs.”
“Because I was scared a heart attack would be the death of me at a young age.”
“You never said they were bad people because of their weight so you’re not fat phobic, but their logic and rhetoric is all too common among the body positivity and health at every size movement.”
“You have every right to take control of your health and ED and did nothing wrong.”- RestlessMind95
“Alex is not a good friend.”
“Seems like they are only thinking about how they feel.”
“I would let them go.”- Tinkergwen
“You need to find new friends.”
“You’re striving for better and to become a better version of yourself, these people just want to drag you down.”
“You told them you had issues with your knees and other things, and instead of asking if you’re ok and understanding where you’re coming from, they’re not concerned about you or your health at all, they just cared about how YOU are making THEM feel.”
“They’re selfish and jealous of your progress.”
“Having a good weight, eating healthy and exercising is what we all should do and strive for.”
“Trying to not be obese and to not want to look obese isn’t fat phobic, is being mentally stable.”
“Why would you want to be unhealthy and risk your life?”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah, NTA, again, good riddance.”- Trick-Risk-1213
“Alex'” sounds terribly confused.”
“I wish them the best but you don’t need that negativity.”
“I was in a magnet with a similar workload and even had friends in the IBDP at our neighboring high school.”
“It’s a lot to take on.”
“Good on you for facing the challenge and having the presence of mind to focus on your physical health at the same time.”
“Good luck and skill!”- Old_Ground6520
“Alex is projecting insecurities on you.”- The_Death_Flower
“You’re not being fat phobic or anything in any way.”
“Do whatever feels right for you.”- PrincessOfHell13
“Alex is making this about themselves.”
“Body positivity is one thing, but they’re making your life more difficult rather than supporting you so they’re not being a good friend to you right now.”
“You’re following your doctor’s advice.”
“Wanting to eat healthily and be a healthy weight again is absolutely fine.”
“I’m annoyed on your behalf that the teachers didn’t check their facts and that they then brushed it under the carpet as a misunderstanding, though.”- Now_Villager
“Your weight is your business.”- Ok-Kaleidoscope-2785
“Looking after yourself and your health is a good thing.”- CharmingCarmilla.
“This is textbook Fat Activism/fatlogic.”
“This is not a friend; at least not in how they are acting now.”
“This person does not want the best for you, they are too caught up in their own problems to care about your health.”
“Congrats on taking charge of your health and losing 5kg!”
“And remember to take it a little easy every now and then, ok?”- scrulase
It’s clear that “Alex” faces a number of issues, including eating disorders and body image.
What’s less clear is if they are oblivious to these issues, or all too apparent, hence their determination to take it out on the OP.
One can only hope they get the help they need before causing themself any further damage to their physical or mental health.