in , ,

Teen Cancer Patient Asked To Remove Feeding Tube And Wear A Wig For Cousin’s Wedding


People make a lot of requests of everyone who is attending their wedding.

Which is fair.

A wedding is an important day to newlyweds.

But sometimes, a few requests maybe stepping over a line.

Case in point…

Redditor nightmareoftheday wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for refusing to go to my cousin’s wedding?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“So my (16 F[emale]) cousin (22 F[emale]) is getting married tomorrow.”

“We’ve all been so excited, her fiancée is amazing, and the wedding is going to be beautiful.”

“At first it all seemed to be going smoothly.”

“We bought matching dresses and shoes, went to planning meetings and helped her check out venues and do cake tastings, normal wedding stuff.”

“Two days ago, she calls me and asks me to buy a wig to wear to her wedding, and asks if I could take my feeding tube out just for the day.”

“I am fighting a relapsed form of cancer and my hair has fallen out and I have a feeding tube.”

“I refused because wigs really tend to irritate my head and I kind of need my feeding tube.”

“And she got super pissy and told me I might as well just not bother coming, and so I was like: well, okay then and hung up.”

“I told my mom I wasn’t going and why and she told me I was being dramatic and that she didn’t mean what she said.”

“I still refuse to go.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“NTA. When the pictures become more important than your presence.” ~ cosmic_jenny

“Your cousin and mom are something else.”

“Not wanting to go to a wedding because the bride told you that it’s an inconvenience for her because you have cancer is fucking heinous.”

“The fact your mom isn’t on your side about this is outrageous. NTA.”  ~ andreaak88

“Your hair will grow back, and you’ll still be cute as a button when it does.”

“In the meantime, you rock that shiny head like the Warrior Princess you’re meant to be.”

“Your mom probably reacted like she did because she wanted the problem to just go away.”

“Unfortunately, moms do that.”

“Your cousin… well, your cousin is a very shallow and unkind woman and no amount of ‘perfect’ photos and ‘everybody look at ME!!!’ is going to change that.” ~ Background-Ad-4616

“Your mother’s non-confrontational attitude doesn’t work because confrontation is knocking at your door.”

“And by being non-confrontational she’s only telling people ‘it’s fine to bully me, it’s fine to bully my kids, we’ll just take it with a smile so keep it coming!'”

“And they will keep coming, just like they always have been because they know they can get away with it and no one will stand up.”

“NTA at all and you’re not being over dramatic, your mother is TA for being a doormat and letting these things happen for so long and making you out to be the problem when you’re not.” ~ crocodilezebramilk

“Exactly. The mom is the biggest AH in this story.”

“A mother should protect her kids from horrible people like this bride.”

“The mom’s response is unacceptable.”

“She should have approached the bride, stood off for her kid, and told her where she can stick her wedding.”

“OP, if you can, please tell another close family member who can properly advocate on your behalf and protect you from your cousin’s horrid behavior.” ~ Electrical-Date-3951

“I would have choice words with your cousin and mom but if I said what I wanted to say on here, I would get banned from here.”

“Now, how exactly does one misconstrue ‘leave your feeding tubes behind?'”

“Tell your mom to call your auntie or cousin on up to sort it out if she likes!”

“Tell her to see for herself if they think the thing helping you stay alive and healthy isn’t ‘aesthetically pleasing enough’ or ‘too eye catching,’ for her glorified party!”

“Because thats what this is at the end of the day: a party.”

“Your health trumps her party. Blessings to the man she is marry because she sounds like a hoot. NTA.”  ~ stop_spam_calls

“NTA. And if I found out someone in my family said that to another family member going through the same thing I’d boycott it and make sure as many family did as I could that behavior is not ok.” ~ Zombiequeen350

“NTA. She should be grateful you’re well enough to come to the wedding, and should want to make memories with you now, just in case the worse happens.”

“Not micromanaging you so that you fit her wedding aesthetic”

“If you were my sister, all I would care about is that you were there.”

“Even if you had to come in sweats, in a wheelchair, with IV bags and everything.”

“All that matters is you being there.” ~ TinyRascalSaurus

“NTA. I don’t know who you have to be to call up a relapsed cancer patient and tell them not to look like a relapsed cancer patient.”

“There’s selfish, there’s petty, there’s bridezilla, and there’s all three of them put together, but she’s even worse.”

“I do NOT know why your mother is defending this.”

“I’m sorry you’re experiencing all of this with so little support.” ~ NoreastNorwest

“NTA, and your mom and your cousin are the AHs here.”

“The bride disinvited you anyway by telling you you shouldn’t bother coming, and you agreed.”

“And your health and well-being should be your mom’s first priority.”

“It goes beyond aesthetics, she clearly doesn’t want your cancer ‘taking away’ the attention from her on her big day.”

“I hope you can do something fun on the day and spend time with people who value you.”  ~ Possible_Donut_11

“NTA… in the SLIGHTEST, your cousin’s request itself was offensive and then she said that you may as well not go.”

“She has straight-up told you that she doesn’t care about your health or your relationship with her as much as how her wedding will look in pictures.”

“Don’t let your mother (some mother…) gaslight, manipulate, or bully you into accepting this kind of behavior.”

“Keep your cousin at a distance unless she sincerely apologizes, and do the same to your mother if she keeps this up. Protect yourself.”

“I’m sincerely sorry about the fact that some of the adults in your life seem to be letting you down so horribly.”

“This story is absolutely disgusting.” ~ AdmirableDecision957

“NTA… your cousin is delusional if she thinks she can ask you to take out your feeding tube for any reason and if she wanted you to wear a wig I feel like she needed to…”

“1- Ask way in advance and…”

“2 – At least buy it for you…”

“The lack of compassion and how self centered she is to ask but then treat you poorly after saying no is such gross behavior.”

“You’re mom isn’t any better either, your family should feel lucky that you even get to be apart of your cousin’s wedding considering the circumstances.”

“I hope your cousin and mom see how rotted their behavior is and apologize.”

“To be honest If I was the groom and heard why you’re not coming anymore, I’d be reevaluating my bride.” ~ Salt-Praline5420

“NTA. Sounds like a bridezilla.”

“Let her know you don’t want to and will understand if she doesn’t want you to attend and then congratulate her and wish her well.”

“Be the bigger person.”

“And good luck on the cancer, that s**t f**king sucks.”  ~ AmsterdamJimmy420

“NTA… and stick to your guns.”

“Both your cousin and your mom should be ashamed of themselves.”

“Your cousin has shown her true ableist colors and they’re a mixture of poop brown and slime green.”

“I’m surprised your mom wasn’t more understanding because if someone pulled this with my child.”

‘I would refuse to go right along with my kiddo.”

‘I’m so sorry this happened and I hope remission is right around the corner!” ~ Dewhickey76

“NTA honestly if it was me, I would tie ribbons to my feeding tube, put sparkles all over my head, and go anyway.”

“How does this b!+(# think taking out your feeding tube is a reasonable ask, and why is your mother taking her side?”

“These people should be trying to make beautiful memories WITH you, not excluding you because you are sick.”

“I wish you speedy healing, and a wonderful life.”

“Never let people make you feel bad for things you can’t control.” ~ MorgainofAvalon

“NTA. OMG your cousin though. this transcends bridezilla-dom.”


“I’m a cancer survivor.”

“You GO, warrior girl!”

“Kick that monster’s butt!”

“And during treatments I had all kinds of tubes and wires and s**t sticking out to get chemo into me and blood outta me.”

“And I can’t imagine anyone with a single milligram of compassion telling you to just take out or otherwise squish into invisibility any kind of medical device.”

“I am SO sorry that your mom didn’t stand up for you.”

“I am sending you so much warrior energy!” ~ Full-Marsupial-5594

“NTA. You are literally fighting cancer and need your feeding tube.”

“It’s also reasonable to not want to wear a wig.”

“You having your feeding tube and not wearing a wig won’t ruin her wedding and it was selfish for her to ask and then get mad when you rightfully declined.” ~ BumblebeeCurrent8079

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

You have to be comfortable and safe in your cancer battle.

It’s unfortunate you and your cousin can’t come to an understanding.

You stay focused on your health.

Good luck.