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Teen Refuses To Apologize To His Girlfriend’s Mother After Destroying Her New Oven While Cooking

Teen boy taking food out of the oven
MoMo Productions/Getty Images

Navigating dynamics with a significant other’s parents is never easy.

For Redditor lilfruity01 this dynamic recently got even more strained when they accidentally wreaked havoc in their girlfriend’s family kitchen.

The Original Poster (OP) rushed to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) for advice.

He asked:

“AITA for not apologizing to my girlfriends parents?”

He went on to tell his story.

“I [17-year-old male] am moving in with my girlfriend [17-year-old female] and her parents. I do not get along well with them very well but have trying to make it work.”

“They had just bought a new kitchen appliance set. Yesterday I was alone in the house and decided to make dinner for the family.”

“After preheating the oven it began to smoke. I called my girlfriend’s mom not knowing what to do, but was brought to voicemail.”

“To my surprise I unknowingly melting a plastic dish cover causing the oven to smoke, as well as leaving an odd plastic coating throughout the oven.”

“Keeping in mind I have never lived in a household that stores things in the oven; My girlfriends mom calls me back after I had already removed everything inside the oven.”

“I tell her what happened and she starts yelling at me through the phone that I am stupid for not opening it to check before turning it on, and to stop cooking because she doesn’t want her kitchen destroyed.”

“Later that night when everyone arrived home, I did not say much due to the confrontation that we had on the phone. (I do not do well with conflict and tend to get very anxious)”

“My girlfriend told me that I should have apologized to them for almost ruining their brand-new oven, and melting the plastic.”

“Me being upset and stubborn, I do not feel the need to apologize for the accident, seeing as this is not the first time her mom has blown up on me for a simple mistake.”

“Am I the a**hole?”

Redditors weighed in by declaring:

    • NTA – Not The A**hole
    • YTA – You’re The A**hole
    • NAH – No A**holes Here
    • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Redditors decided:


“Apologize to the people letting you live in their house. You almost ruined their new stove, and you could have caused a fire.”

“Acknowledge, move on, but you are 100% in the wrong here.” – NotCreativeAtAll16

“YTA, apologize. Also word of advice, if you are dependent on them for the roof over your head, then show more respect.” – aeroeagleAC

“You made a mistake.”

“When one makes a mistake that causes hardship on someone else, one apologizes for that mistake and tries to make amends.”

“Both of these things are simple. Not just your simple mistake. Both of them.”

“YTA” – Intrepid_Potential60


“You screwed up. Just apologize and move on. Stop being a stubborn jerk.”

“Her mom shouldn’t have yelled at you and called you stupid, but if you’re going to claim you’re in the right because you were upset, so does she.” – sfzen


“I get it, they do things differently than you are used to. And she blew up at you when she shouldn’t have.”

“But you DID burn their plastic thing and almost ruin their oven. Just apologize to keep the peace, if for no other reason.” – HM4U-


“You should always check what’s in the oven before cooking, especially if it’s in a home you are unfamiliar with. A lesson for the future.”

“I understand your reluctance to apologise because she yelled and insulted you on the phone, which was not the right thing to do, but her anger was justified. You do owe her an apology.”

“It was unintentional, but you did damage your girlfriend’s family’s property and it could have been a whole lot worse.”

“Swallow your pride, it will make your living situation less unpleasant and get you a step closer to their good books.” – MasterKilvin

“YTA. You check the oven before you pre-heat. It also blows my mind that you didn’t think to check the oven when it started smoking but immediately phoned someone that wasn’t there to assist.”

“Apologise and replace the melted items.” – Full-String7137

“YTA – You should absolutely apologize for the damage you caused.”

“I suspect the mom is only being so intense about it because of your attitude to the whole thing, claiming it’s not your fault and they they are wrong for storing things.”

“I don’t store things in my oven but still check inside to see if the right rack is inside or not, so I don’t have to change them once it’s already hot.”

“Most people do look inside or just notice things when the light turns on, even if there shouldn’t be anything in it.”

“I get it, you’re still a kid, but at 17, I’d been using an oven for years, and you should have some idea of how it works.”

“Unfortunately, you hadn’t already learned that and learned it the hard way under suboptimal conditions, so I understand a bit, but the blame is on you, and you should apologize.” – Aggressive_Cloud2002


“Remember this for the rest of your life: apologies are not always about your actions (mistake), they’re about the impact of your actions.”

“If you want to show your girlfriend’s parents that she’s dating a responsible, empathetic and accountable person, apologize and offer to help pay for repairs/replacement.” – secretlydevito


“I gotta ask, why are you living at your GF’s parents house at 17? That’s already a bad look. I completely understand why they’re not exactly in love with you.”

“I can only imagine they’re doing you a favor by getting you out of a bad situation.” – Appropriate-Cycle-31

“YTA. It’s common decency to apologize for something that you’ve caused, even when you had good intentions when it happened and when it was a genuine mistake or oversight.”

“Better clean up your act if you want to continue living with your girlfriend, as few parents have the patience to deal with rude teenagers that’s not their own.”

“And the sharp remarks made by mom on the phone suggest that these parents aren’t an exception to that.” – DJfromNL

“YTA. You melted a dish and damaged their oven. You owe them an apology.”

“You are living in their home – when you move into someone else’s home you need to recognise that their house rules, and the ways things are done, are different to what you are used to,.”

“I agree that storing plastics in the oven isn’t the greatest idea in the world, but you knew it was all new. It would have been sensible to double-check and to have checked the moment it started to smoke or you smelled something odd.”

“But you definitely need to apologize. Even if it was an accident, it was caused by your actions, and it caused damage to their property, both things which mean you should apologise.”

“Whether her mum ought also to apologise for having yelled at you is a separate issue but your apology is due anyway, and needs to come first.”

“Part of becoming an adult is taking responsibility for your own actions and their consequences, even whre the consequences were not intended.” – ProfessorYaffle1

“YTA. Dude.”

“I don’t know why a 17yo bf is living with his gf and her parents but you don’t get along so they are being very gracious in letting you live there…for some reason.”

“You wrecked their stuff. Apologize. Why are you living there.” – toxicmunkee

“YTA. It’s a simple mistake, yes, but adult people apologize for their mistakes.”

“And seeing as you’re 17, I doubt you would be able to replace the oven if you totally burn it, so the mom was understandable upset.”

“Apologize, and ask for the house tour to learn the rules.” – Ventsel

“YTA. You are living in your girlfriends parents home and you f*cked up their oven. Why exactly do you think you don’t have to apologize?”

“You ruined a plastic tray and f**ked up their oven. You. You did that. Apologize before they come to their senses about letting the teen boyfriend move in.” – velesi

”The Y T A’s are doing my head in. Do you all store plastic in your toasters? In your microwaves? In your OVENS?!?!”

“Anywhere near a heat source in the spaces, you’re advised to NOT store plastics?”

“ESH based on nothing else than plastics are being stored in an oven and not checking the space where you’re planning to cook in the first place. Seriously, WTF?” – albatross6232

“Sort of YTA. Obviously most people don’t store things in the oven, so it’s understandable you didn’t check. But you should still apologize and say it was a mistake”

“Edit to add: okay I see the comments saying people do this, but the intended purpose of an oven is not for storage.”

“I don’t blame him for making that mistake because the oven is literally meant for cooking, not storing.” – carrieminaj

The OP later updated the thread, saying:

“Update: Thank you all for your input and advice. I spoke to my girlfriend’s mom and apologized. We are okay now.”

“I know I have a lot of learning and growth to go through, and appreciate the feedback.”

An apology is a sure way to start patching up this situation.

Written by B. Miller

B. is a creative multihyphenate who enjoys the power and versatility of the written word. She enjoys hiking, great food and drinks, traveling, and vulnerable conversation. Raised below the Mason Dixon, thriving above it. (she/her)