Redditor SolidShnows is an 18-year-old female who has been noticing something unfair about her aunt’s relationships with her daughters.
The Redditor never had cause to verbally point out the dynamics of her aunt’s relationships until now.
When the family got together for a birthday celebration, things soured at the dinner table.
The teen visited the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit and asked:
“AITA for pointing out my aunt has a favorite kid at a family dinner?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“My Aunt Mara (45f) has two kids. Reese (13f) and Lara (9f). Mara has always clearly preferred Lara. Reese always knew it too.”
“My aunt always makes sure Lara can do the extra curricular’s she wants to do, she lets her drop out at any time, even if she’s paid in advance, she gives her the birthday she wants every year, and in general she’s more affectionate and interested in what Lara is up to.”
“With Reese, she pushed her into dance when she was 5 and made her do dance for 4 years. Reese never liked dance and never seemed to fit in.”
“Mara hated it. She would ask her why she couldn’t put more effort in, etc. That she had always wanted a daughter who did dance.”
“I (18f) was around there a lot because Aunt Mara babysat me for my parents while they worked and then I just had to wait at her house until my parents got home so we could save on electric bills and stuff.”
“I once asked Aunt Mara why Reese couldn’t do something she wanted to do and she told me they didn’t have the money for it.”
“Reese never got to do another one but Lara has several. Soccer, dance, art and swim right now. But she’s also done basketball, photography, gymnastics (which really upset Reese because she always wanted to do gymnastics), guitar, piano, drums and singing.”
“Aunt Mara also discards Reese’s plans and has made her cancel to look after her sister but also made Reese skip her plans when Lara has them and they conflict.”
“In the last year and a half Reese has just decided to say f’k everyone. She’s definitely weighed down by it all.”
“We talk about it because she said I’m the only one who acknowledges it. But I have definitely noticed.”
“We were all gathered for a family dinner Sunday (it was my grandparents birthday this week so the family decided to celebrate Sunday) and Reese was in a really bad mood.”
“Aunt Mara told her she was bringing down the mood and Reese got up and left the table. Aunt Mara said she didn’t know what was up with her but she’s always acting like the whole world is out to get her.”
“I mentioned that maybe if she didn’t show such blatant favoritism Reese would be happier. My aunt and parents were pissed I would bring it up, my grandparents asked what I meant.”
“Aunt Mara said I didn’t know what I was talking about and Reese is such a drama queen. I told my grandparents what I meant and they were shocked.”
“Aunt Mara said Reese never wanted to do anything. Grandma remembered how often Reese would ask to do gymnastics.”
“My parents told me it wasn’t the correct time or place to bring it up and I embarrassed Aunt Mara.”
“AITA?”
Strangers on the internet were asked to declare one of the following:
- NTA – Not the A**hole
- YTA – You’re the A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everybody Sucks Here
Most Redditors believed the OP was not the a**hole, and people who had also been the least favorite child shared their experiences growing up.
“NTA. As someone who was the least favorite child, I respect you for speaking up on it and acknowledging it.”
“I’m sure she’s used to being told she’s sensitive or making things up when she tries to bring it up, so she probably feels validated knowing she isn’t crazy.” – princessnokia_
“I relate to you! My parents had 6 children (24, 23, 21, 20, 17 & 4) and they had two scapegoats: myself (21) and my older brother (23). I am so sick of the gaslighting we experienced and being told we imagined it for attention.”
“OP is definitely NTA. Good on them for acknowledging the privilege her aunt is showing to one child.”
“I feel so bad for Reese. OP’s parents and aunt should be ashamed of themselves.”
“The aunt isn’t sorry. She just is embarrassed someone finally called her out on her bullsh*t.” – bigdisappointment_
“NTA. If she was embarrassed, she probably does it knowingly, knows it is looked down upon but still doesn’t change a thing.”
“Good for you for standing up for your cousin.” – Special_Koala_1093
“OP – please, please maintain a relationship with Reese as she gets older. having realized this dynamic and possibly expressing symptoms of depression, her worst years are yet to come. I was the unloved child by my mother as well, and at 21 it’s clear it’s had life-long impact on me.”
“i believe would have been a bit better off if any of my family had acknowledged it and attempted to support me and maintain a relationship.” – AboutToMakeSoup
“NTA. OP: you are the only adult in this situation, and your grandparents are a VERY close 2nd. I’m very surprised they don’t know more about the favoritism, but that that could be due to knowledge.”
“OP’s parents KNOW this is happening, and they don’t want to ‘rock the boat’. They probably talk to each other about it regularly, and have washed their hands of the situation because ‘it’s family’ or ‘well we can’t really do anything about it.'” – numbersthen0987431
“NTA.. someone needs to stand up for Reece. Good on you and I hope she gets extra support now, even if it’s just by the grandparents.” – First_Pomegranate955
“NTA. Not you embarrassed your aunt, she did. There is a VERY simple solution, just don’t play favourits this obvious.”
“Having a 50/50 split in opportunities regarding interests, activities etc might be hard to come by and therefore sometimes one child just has it better than the other but this shouldn’t be more than a 45/55 split and not 01/99 split like you describe it. (and the 1 for Reese is actually generous according to your words here)” – Dimirosch
Overall, a majority of the Redditors applauded the OP for calling out Aunt Mara and sticking up for Reese.