For some people, college is an inevitability, for others, it is a luxury.
Not everyone can afford college, even if they take out sizable student loans, which they will likely be paying off for much of their adult life.
While some people are lucky enough to have parents who put money aside to pay for their college education, others work multiple side jobs to save money to afford college tuition.
Redditor throwawaycollegesav was in a reasonably lucky position to have both saved up money of her own from working, as well as having a college fund her parents saved for her.
Unfortunately, just when the time came for the original poster (OP) to start applying for colleges, she learned she wasn’t entitled to as much of her college fund as she thought.
And while she pointed out why she thought this arrangement was unfair to her parents, she seemed to be pleading to deaf ears.
Wondering if her anger was justified, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for not wanting to share my college fund with my little brother?”
The OP explained how the arrival of her baby brother unexpectedly resulted in her losing a sizable portion of her college fund.
“I (17 F[emale]) am a rising senior at my high school.”
“I’m getting ready for the college application season in a couple months and have several schools selected, most of which are various state schools.”
“I have a spreadsheet with information on them, including costs of tuition and CoL for students there.”
“I have functions on the sheet they show how well I’d be able to afford it using my college savings account that my parents have and my own general savings.”
“My parents (40 F) and (41 M[ale]) recently welcomed in my baby brother (1.5 M).”
“I was an only child before.”
“I was talking to my mom about college and showed her my spreadsheet.”
“Then she told me that I need to adjust it for half of the college savings as they were planning to give my brother half for his college savings.”
“I was pretty shocked by this since they have 16+ years to save up for his college, if that’s something he’ll even want to do.”
“I ran the numbers with half the savings and it’s not looking good.”
“I want to graduate with as little debt as possible and taking away half is pretty damaging to that.”
“I tried talking to both of my parents about it but they wouldn’t budge.”
“My dad said it’s their money so it’s up to them how they get to spend it and I’m not entitled to it, which I understand.”
“They said they’re hoping to retire early so they have more time with my brother.”
“Funding another college fund would push back their retirement.”
“He also said I should just save more money and not waste it (he’s upset I bought myself a switch with my paycheck last month).”
“I usually put most of my paycheck into my savings.”
“He said I’m a smart girl and they can help me figure it out.”
“I still don’t think it’s fair to lose a good amount of my college funding 15 months away from starting to someone who won’t use it for over 15 years.”
“AITA for not wanting to split the fund with my brother?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for being annoyed she had to share her college fund with her baby brother.
Everyone agreed that the OP was absolutely right in finding her parent’s decision unfair and that they absolutely could save up another fund for when her brother gets to be her age, finding the timing of her parent’s decision particularly awful, even if some did acknowledge that her parents weren’t wrong that they had the right to do what they wanted with their money.
“I’d say NTA If they started your college fund when you were a baby then they have the same amount of time to do it for him.”
“If they don’t want to keep putting money away for another 18 years they should have thought about that before having another kid.”- throwaway00131326
“NTA.”
“It’s a real a**hole move on their part to suddenly take away the funding they had promised you all along.”
“You made plans based on this promise.”
“Tell them you’ve found a solution and you plan to open an OnlyFans to fund your college.”
“It might get them to reconsider.”- JimmyGlitters
“NTA.”
“Your parents have the right to split any college fund that they own.”
“But their plan to split the money 50/50 doesn’t make sense.”
“If they invest your brother’s ‘share’ of the fund, the money could quadruple by the time he gets to college.”
“So, if they take half the fund now and invest it for him, your brother could receive four times more support for college than you.”
“If your parents are set on splitting the account, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for you to ask for a more fair split.”
“Maybe 2/3 for your college and 1/3 invested for your brother.”
“Make sure to look into in-state public schools and the scholarships they offer.”- teresajs
“NTA.”
“Your parents certainly have every right to do what they want with their money, but you’re not a bad person for being upset about the situation.”
“Just because someone has a right to do something doesn’t mean they aren’t an AH when they do.”
“Had you known 2+ years ago when your parents got pregnant that you’d be giving up half your college fund you could have made different choices.”
“Your mind may have been on different schools, factoring in student aid/loans, spending less, working more hours to build more savings etc.”
“Instead, they pulled the rug out at the last minute.”
“They have the right to do it, but it’s still a d*ck move.”
“And…let’s all be honest with ourselves here.”
“It sounds like OP’s parents are financially comfortable.”
“If they’re in a position to have savings to retire early enough to spend time with a new child at 40 yo, then realistically, working an extra 6-12 months would probably equal well more than half that college fund—if they even really need to.”
“What’s the difference?”
“They (or one of them)retire at 51 instead of 50, sock away enough for both kids to afford school.”
“If you’re going to provide for one kid, you provide for both.”
“You don’t take from one to pay for the other just because you can.”- Smart-Sometimes
“NTA.”
“But sadly your parents are right in this it’s their money.”
“They get to do what they want with it.”
“That’s the truth.”
“And saying you should save more is such a BS older person thing.”
“College is expensive and COL is easily triple to quadruple what your parents paid.”
“The reality is you will probably have to take some loans.”
“Apply for scholarships and keep applying while in school.”
“My brother landed a full scholarship for his last year of school.”
“I was able to graduate early by taking a few extra classes and save a fair amount.”
“But it is also a okay to be sad and hurt by this.”
“Your parents did not set this up well.”
“Even if they split it 60/40 – it will grow in 16 years.”
“I would ask them if you can split it 70/30 which will allow more to grow.”
“And promise that if you have a really good paying job, you’ll contribute some to brother.”
“Trade less debt now for a maybe in the future.”
“Just spitballing.”- Innerouterself2
“I’m kinda laughing at them being judgmental about the Switch purchase.”
“Oh, please, college is literally thousands of dollars and a Switch is less than $400.”
“NTA, your parents lead you to believe that you’d have access to the full fund and then pulled the rug out for under you at the last minute.”
“Yes, it is their money, but that doesn’t make them not an AH.”- Hidden_Dragonette
“NTA.”
“And it is their money.”
“But your parents clearly let you and your brother down.”
“To be frank, you don’t retire early by having a second child.”
“And they clearly didn’t tell you earlier so that you can plan.”
“Not sure of your field of study but a few options because this is ALL on you.”
“Get your parents to agree that you don’t pay rent or provide child care because the options suck up all your time.”
“Be nice about the childcare, watch him when you can but they want you out so that they can retire.”
“Good luck!”
“And talk to your school counselors too.”
“I’ve done this and a few of my friends did too.”
“Good luck!”
“Go to a community college for your pre-requisites.”
“And work full time.”
“Get your full time job at a large company like a Bank, with a call center.”
“Flexible hours and tuition reimbursement.”
“They often recruit from community colleges.”
“Transfer to a 4 year college and finish up your last 2 years and get your degree still getting tuition reimbursements and grants.”
“Dude, apply to everything!”
“You may have a bit of debt but not monster.”- Ariesinnc3017
One can at least acknowledge that the OP’s parents, hopefully, are not doing this out of malice and just want both their children to have as bright a future as possible.
Nonetheless, it’s hard not to sympathize with the OP, as up until a year-and-a-half ago, she thought her college funds were more or less taken care of.
One can only hope that she and her parents come to a solution that not only makes everyone happy but also allows the OP and her brother to attend college without having to worry about money.