It takes very little for “borrowing” to turn into “stealing.”
After all, when you seek permission to “borrow” something, it is with the understanding that it will one day be returned.
Should that item never be returned, and the owner did not give their permission for you to keep it, then that item can be justified as being stolen.
And the owner is more than liable for compensation.
Redditor Kind-Yesterday-3237 was furious to discover that their niece not only took some valuable possessions of theirs without permission but also had the audacity to re-sell this item.
Catching their niece red-handed, the original poster (OP) felt there was only one suitable consequence for their niece’s actions.
A consequence the OP’s sister found way out of line, feeling that their niece was “only a kid”.
Wondering if they were being too hard on their niece, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where they asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for demanding that my niece, or her parents, pay me back for the hundreds of dollars of perfume she stole from me?”
The OP explained why they felt they firmly believed their niece needed to face the consequences of their actions:
“I have a perfume collection that I started when I was a teenager, slinging burritos as my first job.”
“I have over 400 bottles at this point. I take great pride in my collection, and I use it.”
“I’m also happy to give people decants (samples) of most of my bottles, let them sample a spray or two, give some bottles as gifts, etc.”
“What I have a HUGE f*cking issue with is my 17 year old niece coming into my home under the guise of walking my dog, decanting bottles on her own and SELLING THE SAMPLES to her little friends.”
“She thinks that because I have so many bottles, I wouldn’t notice some missing or getting massive dents in them.”
“Well little miss entrepreneur failed to realize that her ‘private’ Instagram wasn’t ‘friends only’ or whatever and I saw each and every f*cking story with each price and sample she had.”
“I tallied that sh*t up and got a pretty good estimate based on cost per ounce.”
“Thankfully she mostly picked the ‘Tiktok famous’ perfumes like Bianco Latte and Escapade Gourmand and didn’t go for the most rare, niche perfumes.”
“She did snatch an entire 2.5 oz bottle of Baccarat Rouge, though, which runs $300+ at most retailers, as well as full bottles of perfumes you can get at Sephora.”
“Like Marc Jacobs Daisy, Burberry Her Elixir, Flowerbomb, etc.”
“Petty or not, I printed out the entire list of what she’d taken, price estimate, and handed it off to my sister (her mom).”
“I said that I expect to be paid back, in full.”
“And of course her f*cking sneaky little a** is never allowed in my home again.”
“My sister got super pissy with me going on about how my niece is just a kid, kids make mistakes, etc.”
“I said yes, kids make mistakes, and this is a GREAT way for my niece to learn from hers.”
“Their argument is that now the money she was going to use for a car has to go towards paying me back.”
“I don’t care.”
“She is lucky that I have no interest in involving the police, small claims, or any of that.”
“I’m not involving the police, suing anyone, etc.”
‘Please don’t try to argue with me about this or ‘convince’ me why I should.”
“But AITA, because she IS a teenager?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
The Reddit community unanimously agreed that the OP was not the a**Hole for demanding their niece pay them back for all the perfume she stole.
Everyone agreed that the OP was absolutely right to demand to be compensated for their perfume, which their niece did, indeed, knowingly steal, and they were also correct in pointing out that their niece should consider herself lucky that her consequences aren’t more severe:
“NTA.”
“I don’t see how her not having a car is your problem.”
“The money she has for the car is made from selling perfume she stole from you.”
“She’s lucky the consequences are not more serious.”
“I guess she won’t have a car until she figures out legitimate ways to earn money that doesn’t involve stealing.”- sour_lemons
“NTA.”
“I can see from the fact that her mom considers a 17-year-old ‘just a kid’, as if she were a 5-year-old who stole a cookie before dinner, has caused her to act very entitled.”
“She made a series of decisions to steal from you and profit from it.”
“And she’s either ‘just a kid”‘when she’s stealing pricey scents, or she’s an almost adult saving up for a car; can’t have it both ways on your dime.”
“You’ll be teaching her a better lesson than her mom bothered to.”- TemptingPenguin369
“She’s ‘just a kid’ who created a successful business enterprise selling stolen property.”
“NTA.”- Poutiest_Penguin
“NTA.”
‘I’m not involving the police, suing anyone, etc. Please don’t try to argue with me about this or “convince” me why I should’.”
“Understood but your niece is very lucky you are taking this approach.”
“Their argument is that now the money she was going to use for a car has to go towards paying me back.”
“I don’t care.”
“Of course it has to go to paying you back.”
“Why would you buy your niece a car.”
“If she didn’t have to pay you back that is what would be happening with extra steps.”- naraic
“NTA.”
“She stole plain and simple. The age shouldn’t be a consideration here.”
“She needs to pay you back.”- ReviewOk929
“NTA.”
“But it might not be a terrible idea to post on her account how she got the samples so that her friends also know what she did, and they have to protect their own collections.”
“Tell other family members also.”
“It’s possible you’re not the only victim.”- blueswan6
“NTA.”
“Not even sure why you’re asking this, to be honest.”
“You are aware that if your sister is fine with also torpedoing her relationship with you (since your niece already did), you aren’t getting restitution without getting the law involved?”- RyanStoppable
“Yes, her paying it back IS how she learns her lesson.”
“As opposed to going to jail instead since she’s a teenager.”
“Instead of learning that there will be no consequences for stealing.”
“NTA.”- NatashOverWorld
“NTA.”
“Yes, niece is a kid, but this was not a mistake.”
“This was a series of choices.”
“A 17-year-old is old enough to know the difference and pay the consequences.”- Brother-Cane
“Easy NTA.”
“Yes, she’s a teenager, but that accounts for why you’re willing to give her the pretty light consequences of ‘only’ paying you back for what she stole.”
“Adults would be looking at legal consequences.”
“She’s not going to be able to afford a car for college because she got caught stealing and has to make it right. None of that is your fault.”- AuspicaDarkmagic
“NTA.”
“‘Petty or not, I printed out the entire list of what she’d taken, price estimate, and handed it off to my sister (her mom). I said that I expect to be paid back, in full. And of course her f*cking sneaky little a** is never allowed in my home again’.”
“Good on you! On both counts!”
“‘My sister got super pissy with me going on about how my niece is just a kid, kids make mistakes, etc. I said yes, kids make mistakes, and this is a GREAT way for my niece to learn from hers’.”
“You’re right.”
“Kids make mistakes, and so do adults, and the key thing is to take responsibility, learn from them, and try to repair any damage done.”
“Your sister made a mistake.”
“She raised a child to think – at 17! – that stealing is acceptable.”
“Now she needs to repair the damage done to family relationships and try to set her daughter on the correct course in the little time she has left before her daughter reaches adulthood.”
“Your niece, however…she didn’t make a mistake.”
“She did it deliberately.”
“The only thing that was a ‘mistake’ was a) getting caught, and b) thinking her actions were acceptable.”- Normal-Height-8577
“NTA.”
“Not only did she steal from you, she did it badly, and she shouldn’t get to use her stolen money on a car.”- jrfbz
“My 17-year-old niece trashed our house while house-sitting once.”
“I tallied up the damages (around $2000) and presented her with a bill for the things that was just maliciously broken (a part on my wheelchair that was broken when they raised it down the street and the net for my kids’ trampoline that was slashed with a knife) totaling around $100.”
“Her mother freaked out completely and told me it was my own fault for asking too much of a teenager and forbid me to talk to her.”
“That teenager is now an adult.”
“She has no job and no education and has even been homeless a while (in a country where homelessness is rare).”
“As soon as something gets hard, she just gives up and quits, and she has never learned to deal with the consequences of her choices.”
“You will indeed do your niece a favor by teaching her that actions have consequences.”
“It is understandable that your sister wants to protect her child, but the very best way to do that is to let her learn that lesson now when the consequence is just not getting a car and not going to jail.”
“NTA – obviously.”
One would like to give the OP’s niece credit for coming up with an entrepreneurial way to save money to buy a car.
However, that credit isn’t remotely deserved owing to the fact that she raised that money through theft.
As that perfume wasn’t hers to sell, the OP is entitled to any and all profits earned.