Many teenagers count the days until the day of their senior prom.
It’s the chance to get all dressed up and dance the night away with their classmates as their time in high school comes to an end.
But not everyone’s prom night turns out to be the dream come true they were hoping it would be.
Redditor mazioo1233 was nervous about being seen at prom following a recent surgical procedure, fearing she would have to endure the wrath of a bully.
Her worst fears were realized, and making matters worse was that she did not receive the support she’d expected from a designated chaperone.
But fearing she behaved out of line, the original poster (OP) took to the subReddit “Am I the A**hole” (AITA), where she asked fellow Redditors:
“AITA for telling my counselor she failed at her job because she sided with my bully?”
The OP shared that her prom night was less than magical, owing to a bully making fun of an unwanted addition to her prom dress and corsage she donned due to recent surgery.
“So I (18 F[emale]) had to surgically remove my eye a short while ago and I am still wearing an eye patch.”
“I worked up the courage to go to prom and I was super scared of being bullied of this one boy (Mike) who has always been a d*ck to me.”
“Well, it happened.”
“He constantly came over and made really mean comments about my eye and also related to my boyfriend (BF) Jacob (he wasn’t there cause caretaker responsibilities).”
“Last thing he said was (mockingly) “AWW did Jacob’s big nose poke your eye out?”.”
The OP thought that her guidance counselor would take care of the situation, but was surprised by what she had to say.
“After that, I just lost it and started crying.”
“The guidance counselor took me to her office and tried to calm me down.”
“They also brought my friends there for a few minutes to avoid escalation.”
“I demanded that Mike be removed from the event because he was being a bully.”
‘My counselor tried calling his parents but couldn’t reach them, and told me that since Mike is not 18 yet, they can not remove him from the event without an adult.”
“She then told me that since I am 18, if i do not feel comfortable staying there with him, I was free to leave and she would even call me an Über if I wanted to.”
The OP did not take the guidance counselor’s suggestion kindly, and wasn’t afraid to say so to her face.
“I was furious that she suggested I leave to make the bully more comfortable, while I did nothing wrong and Mike is the one who should be forced to leave.”
“The ‘no leaving alone if below 18’ rule also makes no sense because Mike’s house is across the street.”
“She then gave me the ‘I dont make the rules’ crap and I told her that if she doesn’t have what it takes to protect her students she is a failure at her job and should quit in favor of someone who can.”
“I talked about this with my BF and while did have a few choice words for Mike, he told me that while he understands my frustration and my response at the moment, he thinks the counselor was not at fault.”
“I am very open to apologizing to her if I see that other objective people also believe the same thing my BF does.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
The Reddit community agreed that the OP was not at all the a**hole for the way she spoke to her guidance counselor.
While a few acknowledged that her hands were tied, Everyone agreed that the guidance counselor should have done more for the OP, and that Mike should have faced more severe consequences.
“She can’t remove him from the premises but she can remove him from the event.”
“She should’ve taken him to her office and made him stay until his parents picked him up and she could’ve kept trying their phone.”- waezxo.
“Because he could have been removed to the counselor’s office and supervised there until parents could have been reached.”
“And counsellor is major AH for ‘I don’t make the rules’ crap.”
“Counsellor had multiple options that were not siding against victim, and were still within safety rules.”
“They were either unaware of them, or unwilling to use them; either way, you were right.”
“They shouldn’t be in that job.”-PeggyHW.
“NTA she could have made him sit in a chair right next to her until his parents came. “
“The bully should never win.”-mh6797.
“NTA at all.”
“You lost your eye bruh like that ain’t no light bullying.”
“I know people who get expelled for lesser bullying.”- thatrandomblackie.
“HOWEVER I don’t think she was trying to protect your bully, just trying to limit harm to you by giving you different options to consider, such as leaving.”
“Having said that she is the A as she should have been more sympathetic and sensitive towards your feelings and also made sure that one of the teachers immediately called this guy Mike in to tell him his behavior was unacceptable.”
“Mike is obviously the biggest A here.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“I hope you managed to enjoy your prom afterwards despite feeling unsupported by the school.”-bunkbedgirl1989.
“As a teacher, I can confirm that she isn’t allowed to just let him leave, even if she could literally watch him walk into his house.”
“It’s a pretty common rule.”
“HOWEVER a good teacher/administrator/school counselor would have him sitting in the principals office until his parents showed up.”
“This wasn’t just bullying but ableism and thats not okay.”
“I’d get your parents involved.”
“Most schools have zero tolerance policies for bullying.”
“In my area, he would’ve been suspended for a few days or at least end up with detention.”
“He in no way should’ve been allowed to attend a fun event.”
“That’s a privilege.”
“I’m so sorry they treated you this way.”
“They should’ve protected you.”
“What a little asshole this guy is.”
“NTA, you were hurt.”
“And in my professional opinion you aren’t wrong.”
“There was more she could’ve done here.”-littlestgoldfish.
“Bad counselor.”- anaveragetoaster23.
“I’m SO SICK of hearing ‘While I support you I believe and support you, the person who completely sh*t all over you deserves some sympathy’.”-TastyPerception9603.
“I am confused.”
“Is there not some place (say, a classroom or a teacher’s office or even the counsellor’s office?) where she could have made him sit with her as in detention until the prom was over?”
“Then he is supervised but he’s not enjoying himself and no threat to you.”
“Unfortunately, though, neither she nor you are ah.”
‘Mike, however, is a grade A ah.”
“So, I guess NAH.”- MonkeyMagic1968.
“There’s only one asshole and it’s the bully.”
“The counselor likely has no choice about removing a student, however, you also weren’t wrong for expressing yourself to them.”- the_amberdrake.
‘NTA You are going to rough time and I’m sorry for you.”
“How anybody could be that mean to you in time like this is beyond understanding.”
“The counselor should have done more instead of hiding behind the rule making.”
“If you had to leave it would be like saying to ur bully he is in the right.”
“That said you can’t send a minor on the street without reaching the parents.”
“It is just logical but the counselor should have pulled him in her office and talked to him about the consequences of his actions and his words.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.”
“You have the right to be furious.”-YKw1n.
“I am so sorry about your eye.”
“It sucks he ruined your night.”-bachelorette2020.
“F*ck em.”- Eastern-Editor9034.
“NAH minus the bully.”
“You were in an emotional state and lashed out when your aggressor could not be removed.”
“The counselor tried to contact his parents but failed.”
“Due to safety reasons and likely alcohol, school rules state they can’t leave unless they are of legal age.”
“But, I have some questions for the counselor.”
“Mike did not need to be at the event and could just as easily been made to sit in an office due to poor behavior.”
“After tonight, I would suggest reaching out, apologizing for lashing out, and ask about punishment that Mike will receive at school for bullying.”- NuggetSD.
“Schools always do this siding with the bully bullshit because they are scared of getting backlash from the bully’s parents, which is a huge flaw in today’s school system.”
“Let me tell you something: any counselor who sides with a bully is an a**hole and isn’t qualified for the job.”
“I wish there were other ways to stop bullying, but from my experience, the best you can do now is to counter roast the bully until they stop by bothering you.”- SuperbTurtle.
One can sympathize with the guidance counselor, as it is her job to follow and enforce the rules.
But it’s hard not to agree with all of those who felt there must have been other ways to get Mike out of the prom, without leaving the building, as his bullying should not have been tolerated.