The first time a girl has her menstruation cycle, it can be a surprising or even scary time, inevitably full of questions.
An older brother recently went through this with his sister, according to the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Redditor Chicken_Wings74 helped his sister through it, alongside his girlfriend, while their parents were on vacation.
But after receiving criticism, the Original Poster (OP) wondered if he was wrong for helping his sister.
He asked the sub:
“AITA because I didn’t call my mom for my first sister’s period?”
While the OP was babysitting his sister, she had her first period.
“I (17 [Male]) had to babysit my Sister (12 [Female]) for 10 days, because our parents attended a wedding outside our country (we are in Germany and the wedding was in Austria).”
“In this time, my sister got her period (obviously it was her first one).”
“She was a bit in fear, upset, and embarrassed.”
“I asked her if I should call our Mom, and she didn’t want to.”
The OP’s girlfriend helped the OP care for her through the new experience.
“So I write to my GF (girlfriend) (17 [Female]) and asked for advice.
“Then I walked to the store and bought tampons, pads, a hot water bottle, and my sister’s favorite ice cream and chocolate.”
“After I was home, my GF arrived, and we have watched together YouTube videos like ‘How to use pads’ and ‘How to use Tampons’ and my GF talked with my sister to calm her down and give her some advice and teach her about her period.”
“She gave me some advice, too, like ‘don’t p**s her off, keep your distance.'”
“(And yes, the situation was a bit awkward to me.)”
“My sister went to the bathroom and did what girls do when they have periods.”
“We stuffed her dirty things into the washing machine (for erasing all ‘evidence’ of her period).”
“I told her if she feels too much pain, she can tell me and I bring her to our family doctor, then I just kept my distance (how my GF told me) and make sure she has enough desserts.”
“I think it should be over because she is ‘normal’ again.”
“So far, no problems.”
But when their parents returned, the OP was in trouble.
“As our parents were back from the wedding/vacation, our Mom found out that my sister had her period because she had the opened pads and tampons in her room (not the used one, obviously).”
“She asked me, and I told her the story above.”
“She said to me, I should have called her, and it was irresponsible.”
“I don’t think so. My sister has survived obviously, and a period hasn’t killed anyone yet (it is not a medical emergency for me, just simple biology).”
“But I am grounded now for 1 week because I didn’t call her.”
“So Am I the a**hole?”
The OP updated his post the next morning:
“We just had an argument at breakfast, and it came out, my mom had tried to tell my sister what a period is, because she was embarrassed and shy.”
“She just doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but our mom had a plan to celebrate her daughter’s step into ‘womanhood’ (something like I have drunk my first beer with my Dad).”
“My sister was totally comfortable when my GF and I had ‘assist’ her.”
“I am not grounded anymore, and my dad wanted to pay me back, but I have refused (I have a €350 salary from my mini-job at a car wash station).”
“I think it is just a woman thing to do, which I can’t understand.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some said the OP was being responsible.
“You did the responsible thing. You called a trusted female, calmed her down, and walked her through the process.”
“I think it’s just cuz some women see this thing as like a second birthday (some women I know are like really weird about it, and they throw period parties), so your mom just wanted to know, but there is no reason you should be grounded. NTA” – Typical-Supermarket9
“OP you are 100% NTA and your GF sounds pretty great too. Teenage years will probably come with other awkward moments for your sister, but now she knows she has someone to trust who has her back.” – schrodingers_bra
“Great job OP. You really did the right thing.”
“Your mom is being salty because she either a) doesn’t trust your ability to manage something completely manageable (especially since you communicate well with your sister) or b) she wanted to help your sister through her first period.”
“Either way, she’s handling the situation wrong and you’re great. NTA.” – JustMissKacey
Others questioned why the mother wanted to make such a big deal about it.
“I was at a friend’s house when I got my first and we hadn’t had the talk yet (in fairness to ma, I was 9). I panicked and called my friend and she was like, ‘don’t worry my grandma told me about this!’ (She had a single dad) and got me some pads and clean underwear.”
“Her dad let my mum know what was up and when she drove me home she stopped to pick me up a block of chocolate, a hot water bottle, and a box of paracetamol.”
“To me, that seems like a pretty normal response. Have something to make you feel better but don’t throw a f**king party.”
“NTA OP. You did the right thing and I’m glad you kept her stocked with desserts. 100% the correct move.” – Dinosaursdeservelove
“Your mom is treating the period like an illness, as if she had a high fever she needed a doctor.”
“Tell your mom that you know that periods are a natural process and not an illness, but would have taken her to the doctor if she needed to go. Not to mention that a 12-year-old is capable of calling her mom at any time.”
“Your mom is probably mad that she missed it as moms sometimes get sentimental about developmental milestones.” – Fredredphooey
Some people can be really awkward or sentimental about natural processes like periods, and the subReddit was pretty certain the OP’s mom fell under at least one of these categories.
Fortunately, based on the update, it seems the OP isn’t grounded anymore for simply trying to help his sister out.