Redditor NothingThick4824 will soon become a legal adult, and in anticipation, he recently learned that he will be receiving an inheritance from his late mother.
The Original Poster (OP) lost his mom at age 7, and unbeknownst to him until recently before she passed away, she set aside a healthy sum of money.
Moreover, the OP’s maternal grandparents have been adding to this sum throughout his life.
Recently the OP’s grandparents informed him of this inheritance, assuaging some of the fears that come with opening a new chapter in life.
The inheritance comes up in a conversation with his dad, and this is where the drama begins to unfold.
The OP’s father remarried, gaining the OP a stepsister and a half-brother.
When the OP’s dad learned of the money, he encouraged him to split it among his siblings. The OP refused, and tension broke out.
This drove the OP to subReddit “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA).
He asked:
“AITA for refusing to share money I will be given/have access to at 18 with my stepsister and half brother?”
He went on to explain:
“I [17-year-old Male] will be coming into a large amount of money when I turn 18.”
“This is money that my mom, who died when I was 7, and my maternal grandparents accumulated for me since I was born. I won’t say the exact amount but it’s between $500k and $1million.”
“The reason it’s that much is my grandparents ran a successful business for many years and they sold it 18 months ago and all money from that sale went to me. They kept none of it.”
“My grandparents have control over all of it currently. Before my mom died she left them in charge of the account where she was saving.”
“She was married to my dad at the time but had wanted to secure my future in case anything happened, like dad remarrying and having additional kids.”
“She didn’t want to run the risk that once she was gone her money could be used for someone who wasn’t her kid.”
“My dad knew some money had been saved for me by mom but was never aware of how much or little it was. He also had no idea my grandparents continued saving for me.”
“My grandparents told me about the money over a year ago. They wanted me to prepare for my future and to know I would have so many options because of the money available to me.”
“They also mentioned it never bringing back my mom but could alleviate the burden of becoming an adult.”
“So here’s the deal. My dad did remarry. He has a stepdaughter (16) and a son (5) with his current wife.”
“They are not wealthy and my dad’s wife has prepared her daughter to try and work hard for scholarships and financial aid to get into college…”
“…because she wants to study to become a lawyer, I think.”
“My dad had similar conversations with me and had sat me down a few times since I learned of the money’s existence to figure out what our plans would be.”
“Eventually, I told him it wasn’t going to be a big concern, and I told him about the money.”
“He was like, wtf, and then he told his wife, and they apparently went wtf together and told me I could be gracious and split the money when I get it…”
“…between the three of us and give the other two a chance to have a decent helping hand with college.”
“I told them I would not be sharing it because it was created by my family, not theirs.”
“Dad’s wife argued that it would be incredibly selfish to take such a large amount of money and spend it all on myself when I have two siblings who could also benefit greatly from it.”
“My dad told me even giving some of it to them, not a full split, but some money, money I have left at the end, would be amazing and would help my family out a lot. I told him I wasn’t going to.”
“They are SO not happy with me. They told me that being selfish with this is not a good way to be.”
“My dad is also pissed that he continued saving for me and dividing things equally between the three of us when I have so much I’ll have access to in a few months.”
“AITA?”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided:
“NTA Their reaction is exactly why your mom set it up how she did!”
“She knew your dad and well enough to know the money would not be yours and used for children that are not hers.” – Artistic_Tough5005
“NTA. For future reference, DON’T TELL ANYBODY ELSE ABOUT YOUR MONEY !!!” – Outrageous_Shoe_1450
“NTA”
“Your mum and Grandparents saved this money to prepare you for life. It will get you through university and beyond.”
“Your Step mum should have made provisions for her children. It is not up to you to provide for them.”
“Stick to your Guns and lead the life your Mum wanted for you.” – Successful_Bath1200
“NTA.”
“Your situation is what your late mother guarded against by leaving it to your maternal grandparents to manage the money. She foresaw it happening.”
“You are not obliged to help your step-siblings at all.”
“You are not selfish at all.”
“Now the cat is out of the bag, let your dad know that YOUR MOTHER FORESAW WHAT HE WILL DO.”
“Wait no no..Get your maternal grandparents to tell it to his face that they are acting as the controllers. This should get him to back off.“
“Money is always needed, and there’s never enough to go around.”
“500k to a million is not enough to last you a whole lifetime at the current inflation rate but it’s enough to give you a very good head start planning your future into a comfortable retirement…”
“…or for any emergency.” – sarpofun
“NTA but ask your grandparents to put it in a trust until you are 25 and definitely out of your father’s house.”
“The trust can pay for college and give you an allowance for other things but have them or someone other trustee sign off on it so your Dad can’t access it.”
“As you are only 17 he might try to take control. Have your grandparents take away that ability.” – shanna811
“‘incredibly selfish to take such a large amount of money and blow it all on myself'”
“You aren’t ‘blowing’ your money. He seems to have the idea that this money would be wasted if it’s not spent on your stepsister and half-brother.”
“And your brother is FIVE. Plenty of time for his parents to save for him. NTA” – bythebrook88
“NTA and your dad is an A H for asking you to. I do get that he’s upset that he saved for you in addition, though…”
“…so I would understand if the money he saved up for you went to his other children instead, even if you’re entitled to 1/3.”
“I believe this is something your grandparents and your dad need to discuss. It’s not something a 17 yo should deal with alone.”
“But the money after your mom is yours, not theirs, and they have no right to it.” – tric82
“NTA. The money was for YOU.”
“If your stepmother keeps bothering you and you don’t care about going nuclear, tell her that to make it fair, she needs to leave all her money to her kids and drop dead. Then you’ll all be equal.”
“Edit: also, tell your maternal grandparents ASAP about the pressure they’re putting on you. Tell the grandparents that you DO NOT AND WILL NOT consent to sharing a dime.”
“This will prevent your father from lying to them and saying you totally agreed to divvy up the money.” – Cat1832
“NTA. It’s not your responsibility to financially provide for your siblings’ college education. That job belongs to their parents.”
“Your mom and grandparents did this to set you up for your future and your dad is a massive AH for even considering asking you share.” – pinkbutterfly87
“Here we go again. Hell no, not sharing. You are not selfish.”
“You are not dad and married to new wife with 2 kids. You can choose to leave home and avoid the BS. Go to Uni and enjoy life.”
“But be careful with spending. Money is a very toxic topic as you learned. Do NOT show off, bad people will come to you.”
“NTA. Your money is not bringing luck to the stepkids. They need to learn the value of money.” – Ornery-Calendar-2769
“NTA. Talk to a financial advisor and your grandparents about being able to set yourself up before you have full access to your money so that you can not be pressured into giving any away.”
“As someone else said above, do not tell anyone else about your inheritance while your mother and grandparents have given you a great start…”
“…without the proper planning, it will be gone very quickly if you do not have a plan.”
“Sorry for your loss, and please use this opportunity to set up your future.” – lurninandlurkin
Definitely NTA.
What do you think of how his parents reacted to the funds? Let us know in the comments below.