Children lead by example.
Hence why it is vitally important for everyone to be on their best behavior around children.
As we aren’t always too sure of what children might see or hear.
Not to mention the effect it will have on them.
The parents of Redditor GrindDontEverStop had reached something of a rough point in their marriage.
Unfortunately, this resulted in an uncomfortable situation at home for the original poster (OP) and his younger sister.
Seeing the ramifications his parents’ behavior was having on his younger sister, the OP finally felt the need to speak up.
After being told he was “out of line” by his mother, the OP took to the subReddit “Am I The A**hole” (AITA), where he asked fellow Redditors:
“AITAH for yelling at my parents?”
The OP explained why he felt the need to stand up to his parents and call out their behavior:
“I (16 M[ale]) live with my parents and my 8-year-old sister.”
“For the past few months, my parents have been arguing constantly.”
“Like, yelling almost every night, slamming doors, cussing each other out over everything money, us, their parents.”
“Most of the time I just try to tune it out, but my little sister can’t.”
“She gets scared and runs into my room crying, asking me if they’re getting divorced or if she did something wrong.”
“I do my best to calm her down, but it’s hard.”
“She’s a kid.”
“Last night it got really bad again and I just snapped.”
“I came out of my room and yelled at both of them to shut up.”
“I told them they’re scaring her and making everything worse, and that I’m tired of pretending everything’s normal when it’s not.”
“I might’ve said something like ‘You’re both acting like f*cking children’, which, yeah, not my proudest line.”
“They both got quiet but later my mom told me I was out of line and that I ‘don’t understand how hard it is being an adult’.”
“My dad didn’t say much, just gave me a pissed-off look.”
“Now it’s super tense in the house and I feel kinda guilty.”
“I know I yelled, and maybe I shouldn’t have, but I was just so tired of seeing my sister freaked out and no one doing anything about it.”
“So… AITAH?”
Fellow Redditors weighed in on where they believed the OP fell in this particular situation, by declaring:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
The Reddit community resoundingly agreed that the OP was not the a**hole for standing up to his parents and calling them out.
Everyone agreed that the OP was the only one in his house thinking of his younger sister’s well-being, and everything he said to his parents needed to be heard, with some even pointing out that the OP’s parents also don’t know how “hard it is to be an adult”, based on their immature behavior:
“NTA.”
“This is rich.”
“You, ‘don’t understand how hard it is being an adult’.”
“Well, start ACTING like one!”- Adorable_Click9074
“NTA.”
“You were not out of line.”
“Your parents need to pull their heads out of their a**es and realize that this behavior is damaging their children.”
“I’m proud of you for looking out for your sister, even though it’s a role that you shouldn’t have to fulfill.”- plm56
“Not out of line, NTA.”
“You stood up for yourself and your sister, that will never be wrong.”- Jumpy_Imagination208
“NTA.”
“Your sister is lucky to have you as a brother.”- casciomystery
“NTA.”
“My own kids are not that much older than you and their snapping at you is how their guilt is manifesting.”
“I hope you and your sister BOTH know that your parents’ issues are NOT your fault.”
“Y’all are caught in the crossfire.”
“I hope you have a trusted adult to turn to if you need help.”- ViolinistThick1604
“NTA.”
“I actually applaud you for doing this.”
“You were trying to protect your sister’s mental health and made your parents see how they are harming both of you.”
“I’m sorry you are in this position.”
“Tell your mom you were not out of line – they were – and that, no matter how hard it is being an adult, they must hold it together enough to not scar the kids.”
“They just don’t like you pointing out their horrible parenting.”
“Don’t, for even a second, feel guilty for calling them out.”- wondering88888
“NTA.”
“You’re more adult than they are, at the moment.”
“Call an aunt or uncle to come get both of you if it happens again.”
“For your sanity and to wake them up.”- FoxyLady52
“NTA.”
“But your parents are.”
“Arguing like that leaves a permanent scar on the psyche of a child.”
“Even if the child is 8 or 16.”
“Your parents need professional help.”- Youwhooo60
“NTA.”
“You were not out of line at all.”
“Try to follow up with your parents with a calm conversation.”
“Your mom says you don’t understand how hard it is to be an adult (you are acting more like an adult than they are) but they need to understand how their actions are affecting you and your sister.”
“They, as your parents, need to protect you and your sister and make you feel safe, which your sister obviously doesn’t feel.”- Sufficient-Produce85
“NTA.”
“You were clearly right which is why they haven’t said much.”
“Maybe this is the turning point for all of you.”
“Next time just call the cops.”
“If your yelling at them didn’t do it, maybe it’ll take the police to protect the both of you.”- Jmfroggie
“NTA.”
“Proud of you tbh.”
“Obviously they are have marriage problems but yelling & slamming doors isn’t the way to address them, especially if it’s scaring your sister to tears.”
“I suggest when the 2 of them are nearby (maybe a dinner table) you say something along these lines:”
“‘I am sorry I yelled at you’.”
“‘Your arguments are causing sister a lot of stress & she is scared, then I have to comfort her while it continues’.”
“‘It’s not good for her or me’.”
“‘Yes being an adult is hard & I don’t get it but can you go to marriage counseling or go argue in the car?'”
“‘Can we go stay with grandma, uncle?'”
“‘Just need it to stop around us, we deserve that’.”
“She should not have this anxiety where she doesn’t want to come home or worry about you getting a divorce & other stuff she’s tossing around in her brain”
“Maybe a rational conversation where you lay it out will wake them up to the damage they are doing.”
“Sending hugs, sorry your parents are behaving badly.”- Hasagreatkid
“NTA.”
“If it’s awkward it’s because they’re embarrassed because they know you’re right and you finally forced them to see it.”- everyoneis_gay
“NTA x1000.”
“You sound like the adult in the house.”
“Sucks to be in that position.”
“Your mom is wrong.”
“What they are doing in front of you kids is horrible.”
“One thing to be yelling at each other in their bedroom.”
“But yelling, slamming doors, etc.”
“No one should be doing that.”
“Your mom is wrong.”
“They need to figure out how to live together or divorce and live separately.”
“Get counseling.”
“Something.”
“It’s better to be tense and quiet than tense and acting like children.”
“That statement you made was ON POINT.”
“DO NOT feel guilty.”
“If anyone should be guilty it’s them.”
“True, you don’t know what it’s like to raise a family in this world.”
“But you shouldn’t have to.”- Tryn2Contribute
“It needed said.”
“NTA.”
“You’re a kid yourself, and are stuck in the middle reassuring your little sister.”
“I’m hoping this outburst woke them up to what they are doing to you and your sister.”
“They were acting like children, you just called them on it, and you do have a right to get involved because this is your home too, and their constant fighting is affecting you.”
“All the best, OP, to you and your sister.”
“You’re a good brother to her.”- LottieOD
“You’re NTA.”
“100%.”
“It’s a tough situation to be in.”- Psychonaut1008
“‘You don’t understand how hard it is to be adults’.”
“Kid you are the only one acting like an adult.”
“You put them to shame.”
“You are protecting you baby sister while they think yelling and cussing is going to fix there problems.”
“NTA they pushed you over the edge.”
“Next time call the cops.”- No-You5550
“NTA.”
“You should not be the person acting like the adult here.”
“I hope it was the wake-up call they need.”- JynxGirl
“NTA.”
“They needed to hear that ‘staying together for the kids’ really doesn’t help.”- Electrical_Pin7207
It’s devastating to think that the OP’s parents seem to be oblivious to the effect their current situation at home is having on their children.
One can only hope that the OP’s outburst might have at least opened their eyes, and will begin a path to improvement for everyone.
Otherwise, the OP should consider talking to a school counselor or similar about his current situation at home.