Going through puberty is hard enough on its own, let alone doing so with no privacy.
That’s the situation a teenager on Reddit found himself in when his mother wanted him to share a bedroom with his four-year-old sister.
So the teen, who goes by the name AsyncronousCoder on the site, went to the AITA (Am I The A**hole) subReddit for some perspective.
The Original Poster (OP) asked:
“AITA for refusing to share a room with my sister?”
He explained:
“I (14m[ale]) was having a discussion with my mother when she bought up me sharing a room with my sister (4f[emale]).”
“I asked her what she meant and she told me that she wanted me and my sister to share the master bedroom, so that we could have a playroom in the middle bedroom, and I’d have a computer room in the back (their bedroom is downstairs).”
“I politely explained to her that whilst I love my sister, I didn’t want to share a room with her. I gave several reasons which I feel are valid:”
“I’m going through puberty and want my own space”
“I don’t want my sister to wake me up in the rare event I get to lie in”
“Her playroom would be much bigger than my computer room”
“I watch TV to help me sleep, but my mum said if she wakes up due to it, I’d have to stop doing it”
“She refused to listen to me and told me that everyone needs to compromise; I told her she was being selfish.”
“AITA?”
“Edit: Thank you all for your kind words of support. I looked into it and found that it is, in fact, illegal. I showed her the law and she backed down.”
“Edit 2: thanks for the awards guys!”
OP’s fellow Redditors were then asked to weigh in on who is in the wrong in this situation using the following acronyms:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
- NAH – No A**holes Here
And they were in nearly universal agreement on who is the a**hole here.
“NTA that’s a huge age gap and an unnecessary living situation. How is you sharing a room with your sister a compromise?! I wouldn’t want to share my room either in your situation.”
“I hope she respects your wishes and doesn’t force the issue. Sounds like she’s putting your sister’s ‘playroom’ over your needs.” —salukiqueen
“If you have a 4 bed house and this few people, there is no need for you to share a room. Is she trying to get free nighttime/morning babysitting from you or something? NTA.” —loxima
“… it doesn’t even sound like they need to share to begin with. They are describing 3 rooms being split by 2 children. The sister needs a bigger play area, give her the master for both, if it big enough for 2 beds, there is plenty of room with just 1 bed.”
“The OP could also use it as his computer room as well, a desk doesn’t take up more room then a normal bed.”
“The OP is NTA, there is no reason to share.” —Dirges2984
“…NTA”
“Making a teenage boy share a bedroom with a pre-school sister is unreasonable. My best guess is other than having him take on overnight childcare responsibilities, they also looking to prevent him from masturbating/having sex.”
“This is messed up yo.” —Fraerie
“NTA- 4 year olds need a lot of attention during the night, and its unfair to expect you to put up with that every night. as well as that, how often would you use this ‘playroom’ as a teen? this is just giving your sister two rooms instead of one and taking away your only personal space.”
“also, a 14m sharing with a 4f? I know you love her but it a little inappropriate of your parents to ask this of you, and you should both have your own private space to change, relax etc.”
“you sound like you’re handling this in a really mature way and i just advise you to keep your cool and try not to get frustrated with your mum because it won’t get you anywhere. good luck.” —colourmetangerine
“Yes, all of this, not to mention that a 4yo should have a very different bedtime than a 14yo. Your mom is effectively shutting you out of your room for part of the evening NTA” —Fae-Rae
“NTA. Sounds like she is pawning off your sister on you to take care of. If she forces her to move in then go sleep in the living room.”
“If she gets mad tell her you need the tv to sleep. Just because she’s in there doesn’t mean you have to be. Maybe put a futon in the computer room and sleep there. Good luck.” —ReinaDulce
“NTA in some areas I believe child services would not be okay with a opposite gender children of that age sharing a room.” —Beautiful-Muscle2661
“NTA—your reasons are solid. You need your own space and, honestly, a preschooler is going to be in your things whether you give her permission or not. I’m not really understanding your mother’s sudden decision to put you in the same room and refusing to discuss it.”
“Was she really thinking a teenager was going to be thrilled with the arrangement when desire for privacy is at its peak? Can you have someone in your family act as a buffer and reason it out with her?” —Ethossa79
“NTA – I don’t care if you were the exact same age you’re telling me there’s 4 available bedrooms for parents, and two kids, parents don’t need one for a home office, and they’re asking you to share?”
“No, what they’re doing by living in the basement and asking you to share a room, and have a ‘joint’ playroom is essentially: hey you’re going to be responsible for a lot of the childcare around here.”
“EDIT: just saw the difference in biological sex – so extra super duper NTA” —fu*k_ya_bud
“NTA – why can’t the sister’s own bedroom also double as her playroom? And your own bedroom can double as your computer room. Weird to make you share.” —steezMcghee
Definitely an odd choice on the part of OP’s mom. Hopefully the family can come up with a more suitable arrangement.