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Indian Teen Takes Back Wedding Gift After White Groom’s Family Purposely Ruins Her Dress

An young Indian girl in a floral print dress
Ranta Images/Getty Images

Picking the perfect outfit for a wedding can be time-consuming and stressful.

Everyone wants to look nice, but not too nice because one should never upstage the wedding party.

The process can take weeks.

Now imagine having to find TWO outfits, for two weddings, with the same couple.

Case in point…

Redditor magicmanbutagal discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for leaving my cousin’s wedding and taking back my gift because my dress was ‘inappropriate?'”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“Hi all! I (18 F[emale]) recently attended my cousin A’s (25 F) wedding in Australia.”

“Lots went down, and I am getting flack for my dress.”

“We are an Indian family, and A’s husband M (26 M[ale]) is white.”

“So there were two ceremonies, like the Jonas-Chopra wedding.”

“They’re pretty similar, so I wore a certain dress to the Indian ceremony.”

“And to keep with the floral pink theme, I decided I would wear [another] dress to the Christian ceremony.”

“A is my favorite cousin and the one I’m closest to, so I decided to go all out with my gift.”

“My family got them something, and I added a little envelope with a check for a grand that I had saved from working.”

“The ghagra choli was fine for the Indian ceremony, so I figured the dress would, too, because they look similar in color and pattern.”

“However, my dress was deemed inappropriate by M’s family, and they approached me saying so.”

“I thought it was because of the slit, but they all said it looked too pale and unacceptable, even though it was a blush pink with bright, almost neon colors on it.”

“I said sorry, but I didn’t have another dress suitable enough for a wedding that I could change into, and M’s family seemed mad.”

“I left it at that and went on with my day.”

“The ceremony was beautiful, and I was happy for A and M.”

“However, when the wine started flowing at the reception, everything went out of control.”

“I was on the dance floor partying it up with family and friends when I felt a splash down my front.”

“I looked down, and I almost freaked out because I thought I got shot or something.”

“There was this huge red wine stain dripping down my front, and I saw M’s sister, mom, and aunt laughing, with M’s sister holding a glass.”

“I saw red, and that’s when I snapped.”

“I started yelling about how they ruined a brand-new dress for a stupid reason. They kept laughing, and I saw A giggle and M grin.”

“That’s when I decided I would leave and take back the check.”

“That’s when they stopped laughing.”

“M started to ask me to stay, and when his family realized how much money was in the envelope, they started to apologize and talk about how that money could be helpful in this economy.”

“I left because I felt disrespected.”

“Now M, his family, and my parents all say it is bad taste for different reasons.”

“My family wants me to keep the peace, but I don’t want to give my hard-earned money to horrid people.”

“Now I am getting texts, DM’s, and Whatsapp, and my phone is just blowing up.”

“I refuse to talk to A until she gets her husband to apologize, and she is trying.”

“He just won’t.”

“So AITA?”

Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.

“No bride would want ANY guest to be so disrespected in such a way, quite frankly.”

“It’s one thing to ‘playact’ with consent from all parties involved, but another to ruin a dress and make someone the centerpiece of ridicule and embarrassment.”

“Those involved need to get over their jealousy and realize they deserve a removed gift. NTA!” ~ StraightBudget8799

“NTA… technically what they did can be considered assault and/ or battery.”

“If the wine ruined your dress, it can be considered ‘criminal mischief’ for intentionally damaging personal property.”

“If your family keeps pestering you just say your new wedding gift is to not press charges against your cousin’s in-laws.” ~ Sea-Ad3724

“NTA – If that’s the dress you wore, then they seemed to be overly concerned.”

“But if ‘A’ was laughing/smirking about the wine, maybe she’s the one who was upset by it?”

“Regardless, an apology from either of them sounds like it would be meaningless.”

“Keep the money and treat yourself.”  ~ Possible-Plane-756

OP came back with info…

“A thought was like an orchestrated play/dance performance.”

“It’s super common to have performances like that by your friends and fam at an Indian wedding, so she said she thought it was one of those.”

“Still, as soon as she realized I was serious, she tried to help clean up and tried to convince me to stay until the end of the reception.”

“Still, she was wearing white, and there was a LOT of red wine (enough to almost turn the front panel from pink to red ), and she’s the bride and not supposed to be doing that on her wedding day.”

Reddit continued…

“That does clear up who TA is here… and it’s not you nor, it seems, your cousin, but rather her husband and his family.”

“Maybe if you want, you could use some of the money to take your cousin out for a relaxing spa day or something so she can have a gift that her husband gets no benefit from?”  ~ -K_P-

“NTA. Due to your young age, I think you are too naive to realize what really happened that day.”

“A was in on it.”

“They all felt threatened by your dress and looks.”

“To wear a dress like that means having a specific body type combined with your slightly brown skin and long black hair (which most Indian women have).”

“The women on the groom’s side felt jealous and insecure and probably felt you were outshining the bride.”

“They HUMILIATED you, and A didn’t have your back otherwise, you would have seen her screaming at her S[ister] I[n] L[aw].”

“This happens at white weddings when the bride is upset and angry that someone showed up in a white dress.”

“Usually the evil narcissistic M[other] I[n] L[aw] or SIL and one of the bridesmaids spills the wine AFTER getting the green light from the bride.”

“You really think A’s SIL has the balls and audacity to do this WITHOUT consulting the bride first??”

“A giggled? If she truly didn’t know this was going to happen, she would look mortified when she saw what happened.”

“Her helping you clean up your dress AFTER you took back the envelope is her trying to save face and being nice because none of them expected a little 18-year-old to stand up for herself!”

“You had the last laugh.”

“Good luck to your cousin for marrying into this shi**y family with jerks and giant AHs.”

“They showed you who they were, believe them.”

“Don’t reach out to her to give her a spa day.”

“Wait till she reaches out to you or her husband apologies to you.”

“No apology means no wedding gift!”  ~ xxDiamondgirl

“In my opinion, A is just as toxic as her husband.”

“Cut her out as well.”

“She just wants the money.”

“Life is too short to keep toxic people in your life.”

“Also, if you want judgment on the dresses.”

“As an Indian person whose fiancée is white.”

“Both are appropriate dresses.”

“They were just a**holes. NTA.”  ~ Vegetable-Bee-7545

“Your both dresses are gorgeous.”

‘I wear Lehenga choli all the time, and this is beautiful.”

‘Your money should be with you.”

“Do NOT give these 2 AH any satisfaction of keeping your gift and ruining your dress. NTA.”  ~ lovesbooksdocs

“A is lying that she thought it was an orchestrated play.”

“She realized there was a huge check there, and this was the most plausible crap she could come up with. NTA.” ~ monkeywithtwospoons

“NTA. Aussie here.”

“That dress us 100% fine.”

“Sure, the base colour is quite light, but it’s clearly fully patterned.”

“If that isn’t an acceptable dress to wear to a wedding in Australia then 70% of the guests at Australian summer weddings are AHs.” ~ Natural_Garbage7674

“Yep seconding this, as an Aussie who literally got married this past year.”

“I would not have batted an eyelid at this dress, it’s frankly a completely average and normal dress to wear to a wedding at this time of year.”

“Definitely NTA.”  ~ queenevans

“NTA… but your cousin is going to be in for a rude awakening.”

“Her white husband and their family feel it’s okay to treat you like this because you’re Brown.”

“I’m sure A will be facing their ire too if she hasn’t already.” ~ azzaro253

“NTA. Both outfits were beautiful.”

“Get the dress dry-cleaned and ask the wine tossers to pay for it.”

“Block them all after they say no.”  ~ lianavan

OP came back with some deets…

“My age! I am 18, not 19.”

“Also, I am from the United States, not Australia, for context!”

“Also, at the Indian ceremony, A wore maroon red (traditional Indian wedding colors) and, to the Christian, a white dress.”

“More info: it wasn’t a conservative wedding by any means.”

“The venue wasn’t a church; it was this pretty outdoor botanical garden.”

“As for A helping, as soon as she saw my face and reaction, she left to come to help me.”

“I left her and walked out, yelling about me taking the money back, and that is when M’s family tried to stop me.”

Well OP, Reddit is with you.

You don’t deserve to be treated in such a way.

It’s sad that such a beautiful time ended on such a dark note.

Take care of yourself first.

Good luck with the family.