Couples can find just about anything to argue about.
One issue that can cause tension is disrespect.
If one partner is repeatedly disrespecting the other’s wishes or personal property, all hell can break loose.
A person only has so much patience.
Redditor Cubanboy2020 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback, so naturally, they came to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subreddit.
They asked:
“AITA for telling my wife not to use our expensive chef knife to cut plastic?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“I do the majority of the work in the kitchen, whether that’s cooking or cleaning.”
“Probably 95% or more.”
“Two years ago, my wife bought me a $110 Japanese chef’s knife for Christmas.”
“The first expensive knife I have ever owned.”
“I have been babying it as much as possible, washing it by hand immediately after use instead of throwing it in the dishwasher.”
“My wife, however, treats it like a $5 Walmart knife on the rare occasion she cooks.”
“She leaves it unwashed on the counter even after cutting lemons.”
“Acid is especially bad for these knives, which pit and rust easily.”
“She also uses it to cut through plastic packaging.”
“I’ve asked her to be nicer to it a number of times.”
“It makes no impact.”
“Today she was making breakfast, and I found her slicing through a plastic cheese wrapping.”
“I asked her (again) to please not do this because it dulls the knife, and she knows it.”
“She said ok.”
“A minute later, she needs to open a sausage package.”
“I said, you’re going to use the expensive knife again, aren’t you?”
“She turns to me and says, ‘What should I use to open this then?’”
“I said, ‘There are supposed to be scissors in the kitchen. Where are they?’”
“She replied, ‘Are the scissors going to be clean enough to cut?’”
“I yelled, ‘Use one of the other cheap knives, then!’”
“There are two of them behind her in the cabinet, and I’m sure she knows it.”
“This just comes off to me as weaponized incompetence.”
“So I say, ‘I know you want to use the good knife. Just do it.’”
“She said, ‘No, I just want to know what you want me to use,’ and then she cut the sausage packaging with the good knife.”
“I said, ‘You know, this is like if I took one of your expensive dresses and mopped the floor with it, and when you caught me, I said, ‘What else was I supposed to use?’”
“This was met with ‘I don’t know why you’re going on about this.'”
“Our adult kid witnessed all this and says, ‘She gave you the knife, she can use it however she wants.'”
“So I’m a petty a-hole for wanting people to treat my gift nicely for my own copious use of it in the kitchen to make them all food.”
“I am now hiding it in a cabinet and will continue to do so after each time I use it.”
“I’m sure I’m an a-hole for that too.”
The OP was left to wonder:
“So… AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed in on some options to the question:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors declared that OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NTA and your kid is wrong.”
“She gave YOU the knife, did not buy it for general use, so it is YOUR possession and as such should be treated with the care you think it needs or not used at all.”
“I would also remove it from general availability if they can’t treat it with respect.” ~ CestLaquoidarling
“Agreed. The kid doesn’t seem to understand that once a gift is given, the person giving it no longer has any type of claim to it.”
“Just because OP’s wife gifted him the knife doesn’t mean she can use it however she wants. “
“That’s not how gifts work.”
“Also, there’s a superstition that knives shouldn’t be given since the sharp blade symbolizes cutting/severing ties or relationships.”
‘A token coin or dollar is often offered, so the recipient of the knife symbolically ‘buys’ it from the giver, thwarting any bad luck.” ~ TheGrooveasaurus
“NTA. This, especially, is very wrong…”
“Our adult kid witnessed all this and says, ‘She gave you the knife, she can use it however she wants.'”
“NO. She gave YOU the knife.”
“It’s YOUR knife.”
“YOU get to say how it is used, and by whom.”
“Gift GIVER does not get to use and abuse the gift given however they want.”
“I have had the same issue; people don’t understand how to use knives or how to take care of them.”
“It’s true of other tools also, but knives especially.”
“Using them to cut wire (!), wondering why they get chipped, using the tip as a screwdriver (!), never sharpening them, etc.”
“I was at a friend’s house making brunch; she had a drawer full of cheap knives, so dull that not a single one of them could cut a piece of bacon. Embarrassing.”
“She also puts wood through the dishwasher and wonders why it splits and cracks. Ugh.”
“Sadly, you may need to hide or lock up the knife to prevent misuse.” ~ MarionberryPlus8474
“Your child’s statement makes no sense.”
“Your wife is not the owner of the knife and therefore cannot just ‘use it however she likes.'”
“She gave the knife to you and therefore should be asking for permission to use it.”
“I’m sorry, OP, but you raised a dummy. NTA.” ~ EclecticEvergreen
“NTA. Fine knife abuse is disgraceful.”
“Your son is wrong.”
“Once she gave you the knife, she gave up the right to abuse it.” ~ Irish_beast
“NTA. This is the same energy as the folks who don’t understand you do NOT use the fabric shears for paper.”
“Your only bad behavior is not insisting she use one of the cheap knives.”
“Huffing and resenting that she’s using the good knife to cut packaging without saying explicitly, ‘you should use the cheap knife, and you should know that’ is passive-aggressive, and you’re going to give yourself a martyr complex.”
“Also, your kid is wrong.”
“When you give a gift, it belongs to the giftee, not the giver.” ~ small_spider_liker
“NTA. I’d also go to the Dollar Tree and buy a stack of kitchen shears and put them in multiple places in the kitchen. “
“They can go through the dishwasher too, so they’re clean for use in cutting both packaging and food if it’d be helpful.” ~ Winterwynd
“NTA. Your child has learned from her, though; this is it for you.”
“‘She gave the knife to you. YEAH, AS A GIFT. IT’S YOURS!'”
“You gave her an analogy that made sense, and she dismissed it because she KNOWS she’s wrong and KEEPS doing it.”
“Narcissistic behavior.” ~ CoCoaStitchesArt
“NTA. Seriously, my heart kinda dropped just reading your title. Ugh.”
“I have a pair of very expensive, very sharp sewing shears.”
“That has never cut anything other than fabric.”
“I would be absolutely incensed if someone used them so casually.” ~ RosieCrone
“NTA. I sew and quilt; my family understands my fabric scissors are not to be used for anything else or by anyone else.”
“My son and I both have ‘good’ knives.”
“They are treated appropriately.”
“At my son’s house, I have my own chef’s knife, so I do not reach for his.”
“He has not requested that I do this.”
“Oh, I bought my son’s knives, but that does not mean I have full use of them.”
“And the house my son lives in is mine too.” ~ GalianoGirl
“NTA. Your wife is not stupid, I assume?”
“She’s being disrespectful and petty.”
“If my partner asked me not use a knife like that, I’d find another knife.”
“It’s literally so easy.”
“There is no valid excuse for her to keep doing it.”
“Even if she didn’t have another knife.”
“Go clean the scissors.”
“Pierce it with your nails.”
“Find another way.”
“There is no universe in which your special knife is the only way she can open things.” ~ danniperson
“NTA. When my fiancé and I moved in together, he was very much into knives/cooking, and his best friend got him an engraved knife from Japan.”
“He has a knife-sharpening stone and takes care of his knives better than he takes care of most things.”
“I know how important it is to him, so I make sure I do my part in keeping it functional and in its best condition.”
“There have been slip-ups (like me putting it in the sink, or in a metal bowl which can bend the tip), but he lets me know he’d prefer if I didn’t do that and explained why.”
“So now if I use the nice knife, I clean it right away and don’t let it sit anywhere.”
“Your wife GIFTED it TO YOU.”
“It’s now YOURS to do what you please and treat how you want.”
“It feels like your wife feels entitled since she bought it, but the moment she gifted it to you, it was no longer hers.”
“She can take the extra 10 seconds to grab a paring knife, or a cheap one.”
“At this point, I’d put your knife in a knife roll and keep it in a place she can’t reach/wouldn’t think to look.”
“If the knife’s not around, she’ll find another method to open the plastic wrap.” ~ _Nerf-This_
“NTA. The kid is wrong.”
“She gave you the knife, so it’s yours to use as you see fit.”
“I bought my husband who bakes a really nice bread knife.”
“That’s his to use. I’m not going to take it and use it to slice anything.” ~ BoldBoimlerIsMyHero
“This is the equivalent of using sewing or beautician shears to cut paper.”
“OP, does your wife sew?”
“If so, start using her expensive fabric shears to cut plastic packaging.”
“Seriously, my husband gave me a set of awesome kitchen knives.”
“He knows I will do bad things if I catch him misusing them.”
“They are for food.”
“Kitchen scissors are for everything else.” ~ WAtransplant2021
Reddit wants your wife to keep her hands off your knife, OP.
It doesn’t matter if she gifted it to you; it’s yours.
She is being very disrespectful.
It’s not difficult to go grab some scissors.