We’ve all had plans that we were super excited about that ultimately didn’t work out.
Sometimes, those changes to the plan are downright devastating, but we’re grown-ups here, and we understand that those changes are bound to happen sometimes. Right?
But some people are so protective of their plans, they’ll ignore anything, or anyone, that might get in the way, cringed the “Am I the A**hole?” (AITA) subReddit.
Though she’d just found out that her daughter had been hit by a car and broken her leg, Redditor VacationBluez decided it was still okay to go on her romantic vacation with her husband.
But when she was called out for ignoring updates about her daughter, the Original Poster (OP) began to question what she had done.
She asked the sub:
“AITA for going on vacation when my daughter had a broken leg?”
The OP’s younger daughter was involved in a hit-and-run accident.
“About 3 weeks ago, my daughter Sam (19 Female) got hit by a driver on a crosswalk.”
“I was scheduled to take a much-needed vacation the next day with DH (Dear Husband) to Cancun for 2 weeks. We haven’t got to use our timeshare since 2020.”
“When I left, I had just heard Sam had a broken leg and didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”
When the family tried to update her, the OP thought they were interrupting her vacation.
“While I was out of town, the family started calling me more and more.”
“My family includes Sam’s sister Brig (24 Female), who makes drama out of everything. After 4 days of this, I shut off my phone.”
“I came back from vacation and Sam needed major surgery on her leg and then stomach for bleeding. She’s on my husband’s (her stepdad’s) insurance.”
“Brig and her (Brig and Sam’s) father had to fly out and take care of Sam (she goes to school out of state).”
The family was upset with how the OP handled the situation.
“Everyone is now mad at me and my husband, because we held up insurance processing and Sam’s recovery.”
“The only thing I told my DH was that Sam was involved in a hit and run and she broke her leg. I didn’t know anything much different in Cancun.”
“DH got mad at me like everyone else because Sam was so injured and said if he had known that, we would have never left on vacation.”
The OP didn’t agree with everyone else’s view.
“I have explained my side of things and considered it a miscommunication from everyone.”
“Everyone is calling me selfish and now my DH is not talking to me.”
“My stepchildren have even offered to help Sam out.”
“I didn’t run away to vacation, and I heard ‘broken leg.’ That was that. No one said anything else before we left.”
“Everyone is flipping out because they think I’m the worst mother ever.”
“I tried to tell Brig that maybe she should stop crying wolf all of the time if she wants people to take her seriously.”
Fellow Redditors weighed in:
- NTA: Not the A**hole
- YTA: You’re the A**hole
- ESH: Everybody Sucks Here
- NAH: No A**holes Here
Some were appalled by the OP’s parenting.
“She may have more than one daughter but the other daughter and father had to fly in when I assume mother was near.”
“And broken leg means at least crutches. Have you ever been on crutches? It sucks and you need a lot of help with everything.”
“What type of mother hears broken leg and walks away? OP, YTA. Completely.” – drowninginstress36
“I don’t know – If my 27-year-old daughter broke her leg the day before I had a vacation scheduled, I’d have called her up to see how she was doing and if she needed me.”
“I think OP failed at Mothering 101.” – mswoodlander
“She also tries to blame her other daughter…”
“‘I tried telling Brig to stop crying wolf.’ So apparently it’s her fault that OP couldn’t be bothered even when other people besides Brig, the wolf cryer, called her phone while on vacation.”
“She is one of the worst mothers ever. Even the stepdad shows more concern than OP.” – thebohoberry
“There is no valid defense for this. I could maybe see her still going on vacation after a broken leg, but turning off her phone is inexcusable.”
“Also, OP saying that the sister Brig makes a big deal out of everything is just an excuse to relieve herself of responsibility. If she was informed that her daughter’s condition was worsening, she should have gone home immediately or at the very least helped make sure her daughter got treated.”
“Plus, she admits to essentially lying to her husband about the severity of the situation, while again trying to relieve herself of responsibility by saying she didn’t know any different. Because she did know different.”
“And she actively chose to lie to her husband, abandon her daughter, and force the father to deal with a situation that he truly couldn’t help with much. Sam is probably incredibly traumatized from the situation, and I hope she can safely get away from her mom.” – AlyssaSticks
“She turned off her phone – Honestly, that’s the YTA thing for me.”
“Broken legs can be fixed and then you play a very boring waiting game for a while, usually with no complications.”
“I don’t blame OP for going on vacation because what can you REALLY do after they’ve got the cast?”
“But you have to be GLUED to your phone just in case, especially if you’re the subscriber on the insurance where kiddo is a dependent.”
“Also, ‘my other daughter causes drama,’ or maybe the older daughter had to be the parent to the younger one because mom is self-absorbed. As an older daughter who ‘is the drama’ to mom like… that’s a real s**tty detail to include.” – Agent_Raconteur
Others agreed and didn’t appreciate the prioritization of her vacation.
“Yeaaah, let’s just trade that extra leg in for a vacation. To Cancun. Where rich people ignore the rest of their lives’ little ‘bumps.'”
“BILLIONS of people haven’t had a vacation since 2020. Literally. Especially people that can’t afford to jet around the planet, or maybe… feed their kids??? Whoever told you that everyone gets a vacation every year?”
“Or maybe I just don’t have a sense of humor about this.” – Educational-Food9471
“The vacation is much needed though!”
“Yes, a couple of tons of metal hit her kid in a crosswalk. Yes, she heard something about a broken leg. Yes, we’re still in a global pandemic.”
“But there’s A TIMESHARE involved here and those margaritas aren’t gonna drink themselves!” – auntieup
“You’d think the first thing she’d do when she heard her daughter broke a leg would be to call her (the daughter with the broken leg) and see what’s going on and what needs to be done.”
“I think she didn’t want to know anything about it and just go on her vacation.” – IHateCamping
“The first thing I would have done is to call my daughter and make sure she’s okay, see what the doctors say, etc.”
“I know I couldn’t enjoy any vacation not knowing she was okay.”
“My daughter is 22, at college, and had to get an endoscopy, and I told her if she didn’t have a reliable friend to take her there and back, I’d make the 3.5-hour trip to do so.”
“Fortunately, that wasn’t necessary, but I still wanted to know as soon as she was able to let me know she had come out of it okay. OP is a very selfish mother.” – HappyLucyD
Some also hoped that Sam was handling the situation well.
“I was hit by a car going into work. Was luckily just bruised and shaken up.”
“My mom offered to come down and help around the house and with my baby daughter. She’s hours away and my husband is super involved. She still offered multiple times.”
“Also, even now, years later I get stressed crossing the street. I wasn’t even really injured.” – sraydenk
“She could have at least called the hospital and ask what her injuries are, because people under stress from just having been run over might not be making a lot of sense. It’s hard to process what a doctor is telling you if you’re on pain meds or been bounced around the road.” – anyanka_eg
“Her daughter was also hit by a car! Isn’t she worried about her emotional well-being? I feel like if I was hit by a car and had zero injuries my parents would call and offer to fly up.” – whatthewhythehow
“I slipped on ice at work on Friday and knocked my head (I’m fine!) and my parents, who are local and whose insurance I am not on, still freaked out and wanted to make sure I was okay. OP is the worst mother.” – Alitazaria
“I mean never mind the fact that she was HIT BY A CAR. A broken leg was probably the obvious injury, but internal injuries generally don’t become apparent until later (which happened here).”
“Even if her leg wasn’t obviously broken she was going to be worse for wear. I was hit by a car and luckily has no major injuries (breaks, internal bleeding, etc) and nothing super obvious other than road rash but I still had to undergo months of physio to deal with soft tissue/muscular injuries.” – TheRestForTheWicked
Anyone can empathize with planning for and wanting to go on a trip, especially when it’s expected to be an incredibly cool vacation, but at what cost?
The subReddit was highly conflicted about going on the vacation at all, knowing that the OP’s daughter had a broken leg. But turning her phone off and otherwise ignoring her daughter’s condition for the sake of her much-needed trip, that was where the entire subReddit drew the line.