Since Covid, so many people have made work from home the norm.
Life was already heading that way but Covid accelerated the process.
But figuring out space can be a problem for couples who have to separate work and home when work… is a part of the home.
It’s a new world.
It’s not easy.
Case in point…
Redditor Green_Arachnid4133 wanted to discuss their experience and get some feedback. So naturally, they came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.
They asked:
“AITA? I have an office job where slowly I am being able to work at home more and more. My girlfriend hates when I work from home. Am I wrong for intruding on her alone time by working remote?”
The Original Poster (OP) explained:
“It is more comfortable for me to work at home.”
“All I do is edit videos on the computer.”
“We live in a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment, so I don’t have a separate office.”
“I can not go to a coffee shop or something like that because I need to edit on my stationary computer (more power).”
“She is a nurse and works 12 hours shifts.”
“She tells me that when she has a day off and I end up working from home, I am intruding on her alone time.”
“I tell her she is ridiculous for saying that.”
“She wants me to get an office.”
“AITA?”
Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Many Redditors declared OP was NOT the A**hole.
“NAH, you both have a right to feel the way you do.”
“My advice: get a bigger apartment so you can each have your own space.” ~ Don_Ciccio
“Yeah, she is not an AH for wanting some alone time.”
“OP is not an AH for wanting to get his rent worth (work from home is the only way I can even begin to justify what I spend on a roof, and honestly, f**k office culture and going in to do s**t you can do from home just as well).”
“My husband and I had similar stressors over COVID.”
“I was always on the phone with patients and in Zoom meetings, and he was always trying to concentrate.”
“This problem has been 100% resolved by us each having a space at home to work quietly in.”
“Even when we’re not working, we each have our respective ‘space’ to go to when we just don’t wanna interact with others and basically be alone for a bit (which is normal and healthy for anyone reading who may be inclined to defend codependency).”
“This will be a rough patch, but if they’re getting a bigger apartment, it’ll get better.”
“I agree NAH.” ~ dongdinge
“Definitely NAH – I love working from home and would be upset if I couldn’t do it, but I definitely wouldn’t blame somebody for being upset at never being alone, especially if they’re used to getting some alone time.”
“Some compromise is needed here until you get a better place, but it really depends on how many times this overlaps.”
“If she only has one or two days off during the work week, you shouldn’t work from home on those days.”
“If she works nights and is home during the day during your work week, you should be able to work from home for half the time or something, as it is more comfortable for you, and then she would still get some time alone.” ~ haleorshine
“I agree NAH.”
“But since you clearly have a choice and know that she wants some time alone, you should be considerate and try to work in the office on the days she has off and work from home when she’s working.”
“Seems like a pretty simple solution to not blow her feelings off.”
“My husband worked from home in our 1-bed apartment, and it is absolutely exhausting never being alone.” ~SailorSpyro
“I am a S[tay] A[t] H[ome] Mom] whose husband has worked from home since Covid shut everything down in March of 2020.”
“I am introverted. Hubs is extroverted.”
“While I will readily admit it hasn’t been nearly as bad as I imagined it would be, it’s still rough.”
“Hubs takes every conference call on speaker, and so it feels like there are an extra 3-7 people in my house all day because he also doesn’t close his office door.”
“He feels trapped in there when he does that.”
“Which objectively, I can understand.”
“However, at 3:30 when the kids are home from school, and the doorbell starts ringing for friends to come in to play or invite mine out to play, that pesky doorbell can irritate him if it’s been a stressful day ‘at the office.'”
“Thanks, builders, for putting home offices right next to the front door! I have to wait to vacuum or open Amazon boxes if they are loud.”
“No chit-chatting at the door with friends as they come or go… and absolutely no blasting Alexa as I clean!”
“So I use AirPods for that, try to vacuum on his lunch break (assuming he gets one that day because he works more than one job because he wants to be a good provider for his family), and when I’m ‘peopled out,’ I just go shut the office door.”
“I don’t need Bob and Susan and Irene and your whole dev team in my dining room as you walk around and talk to them and hash out ‘concerns’ on speaker.”
“Figure out what works for you both.”
“She needs her recharge time.”
“You need to work.”
“Just do your best to communicate and realize each of you have valid feelings and the situation is stinky, so what will work to give you both what you need?”
“Do I love my hubs working from home? It’s not all terrible.”
“He has time to go to events at the kid’s school for an hour that he couldn’t have done if he was at an office.”
“We get some random lunch dates, or let’s go to Target and get XYZ.”
“You can work with a less-than-ideal situation and make it palatable for both of you.”
“Just remember you are working together and not against each other, and hopefully, you can come up with a schedule that will work!” ~ Abushelandapeck98
“NAH: A lot of this depends on how much of the apartment you’re using when you work from home.”
“If she wants to veg out and watch bad reality tv, are you in the living room?”
“You have a right to work from home.”
“She has a right to want time alone.”
“Think about a bigger apartment so you can have an office (the extra cost might be a tax write-off) or work from the office on the days she has off.”
“Being a nurse is intensely stressful – especially in recent years.”
“She might really need the time to decompress.” ~ debdnow
“My personal opinion is couples can spend too much time together.”
“And given the fact how small your space is, it does honestly seem unfair you’re using the space as your office as well. NAH.” ~ VaginaHorror
“I agree with this.”
“She probably wants to sleep in, play music, take a leisurely s**t, binge-watch shi**y TV etc, and feels like she can’t do any of that while he’s working from home.”
“Presumably she’d spend most of her time in the living room, and she knows her day off activities will encroach on a work environment for him, so she has to alter her behavior.”
“It is kind of crummy to impose a work environment on what is supposed to be a common lounge environment, but I don’t think you’re an ah for wanting to work from home.”
“You need an office space, but in the meantime, I’d try compromising and choosing to work from the office on at least some of her days off.” ~ ptheresadactyl
“Yes!! During lockdown, I struggled so much having my partner home all of the time.”
“To me, that is still the toughest part of our relationship, and he still says he had no issues.”
“He doesn’t need alone time like I do.”
“We’ve been together over 5 years, and I still enjoy when he has to work an evening shift, and I’m home alone.” ~ frymytears
“NAH. You both have the right to enjoy your space and now you have conflicting needs.”
“I would consider prioritizing work-from-home days when she won’t be there until you can get a bigger space.” ~ DinoSnuggler
“NAH. But you are my husband and I.”
“I knew it makes me a bad person, and I was honest with my husband about it, but when they switched to working from home it sucked.”
“And he’s still only in 2 days a week now.”
“On my days off, after intense patient care fatigue, I don’t want him there some days.”
“Working from home for him means occasional phone calls with him watching tv, being bored and wanting to talk.”
“I just talked for 12 hours straight… with an n95, leave me alone, and wanting to do it during the day more, I just want some alone time!”
“But we live in a house and he doesn’t get offended when I tell him this or when I ask him to go out to lunch.”
“That being said, NAH.”
“You have a right to be there too.”
“But perhaps a 2 bedroom?” ~ Educational_Word5775
“NTA, it’s your place as much as it is hers.”
“But it’s probably a good idea to let her have some time to herself on her days off.”
“Why can’t you work at your office building when she has a day off?” ~ Admirable_Scale_5075
Well, OP, Reddit is with you.
You’re working.
You’re partner also needs their space, which is understandable.
This sounds like a doable solution.
Personal space is important.
For everyone involved.