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Woman Offended After Boyfriend Claims She Tried To Seduce His Visiting Brother In Her Underwear

Young woman sitting on the edge of a bed in her underwear, dressing up her shirt.


They’re imperative in all relationships.

The problem with boundaries, though, is not being specific and discussing them more often.

People seem to upset and offend others by accident because no one communicates fast enough.

This is a big issue in new romantic relationships.

Case in point…

Redditor Livid-Teaching1664 wanted to discuss her experience and get some feedback. So naturally, she came to visit the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit.

She asked:

“AITA for being in my underwear around my B[oy]F[riend]’s brother?”

The Original Poster (OP) explained:

“I 20 F[emale] have been with my BF for almost 3 months.”

“I just started staying at his apartment recently for overnights.”

“He’s my first real boyfriend.”

“I live at home with my family still, and we’re very open.”

“I walk around in a shirt and my underwear the majority of the time, and it’s not an all-girls household.”

“I have a dad, and two brothers ages 17 and 14.”

“I also did it growing up, and I also have an older brother.”

“If guests stopped by unannounced growing up, so be it. They’d see us in our bedwear.”

“It’s just normal for me, and I guess I expected other people to do it.”

“As you could probably imagine, I did this at my boyfriend’s apartment when it was just the two of us, which he loved.”

“Then two days ago, his brother stopped by, and I came out of the shower in a t-shirt and Cheakies underwear (but not too Cheakies. It only exposed a little).”

“When my BF saw me, he immediately whispered to me to put on some pants, which I did.”

“After his brother left, he was super pissed and asked if I was trying to ‘seduce his brother or something.'”

“I told him I didn’t mean anything by it, just that at home I walk around like this, and he said Well not at his home and not when we have guests.”

“He told me I looked like I was trying to ‘strut it for his brother.'”

“I apologized but he was super upset and went to sleep early, which isn’t like our normal sleepovers since I stay over so rarely.”

“It’s been 3 days, and he hasn’t asked me to sleep over again.”

The OP was left to wonder,


Redditors shared their thoughts on this matter and weighed some options to the question AITA:

  • NTA – Not The A**hole
  • YTA – You’re The A**hole
  • NAH – No A**holes Here
  • ESH – Everyone Sucks Here

Many Redditors declared OP WAS the A**hole.

“YTA. People you are unfamiliar with don’t need to see your underwear.” ~ tatasz

“I agree it’s odd to walk around in your underwear around strangers I would have been mortified and headed straight to the bedroom to change YTA.” ~ Mmoct

“I think it’s odd to be in your underwear around family even.”

“Maybe just me, but I don’t want to see my siblings in nothing but their underwear.” ~ Xero0911

“When I was about 13 my dad started getting uncomfortable with me being in a t-shirt and underwear watching TV before bed and told me I had to wear pants.”

“That was my social clue.”

“So, yeah, now it’s something I would never do around men I’m not sleeping with.” ~ LSATMaven

“My sisters and mom both walked around in giant t-shirts and underwear.”

“We were a very prudish family, and it was just what they slept in.”

“That being said, if they walked out like that with company they would have immediately done a 180 and changed into something else.”

“Conversely, in college, my girlfriend’s roommate would wear a crop top and panties around me.”

“It wasn’t a thing because no one made it a thing.”

“I was there ALL the time.” ~ SnatchAddict

“This!!! Everyone can set their own boundaries in their own home.”

“It’s not a thing until it’s made into a thing!!”

“The boyfriend could just easily say that he would prefer when guests come over to please dress more modestly for his comfort.” ~ D1133

“I stopped chilling in boxers around the time I turned 10-11.”

“It just becomes weird at some point as you start developing.”

“I don’t know how she didn’t have the common sense to put some clothes on when her BF’s brother pulled up.”

“She’s weird ASF.” ~ REDDIT

“Grew up with older brothers – they liked walking around in their boxers – I was not a fan.”

“I remember one time I had a friend over (who only had sisters), and my brother walked into the kitchen in his boxers, saw her, and quickly walked out again.”

“I didn’t process anything weird until my friend was like, OMG!! WHAT WAS THAT!!” ~ PharmasaurusRxDino

“I don’t want to be in just underwear around anyone but probably my husband.”

“I will take a nap in underwear and a t-shirt sometimes, but that’s in my bedroom, and I’m not just walking around like that.”

“I think technically my roommate would have seen me in a t-shirt and underwear once because I was taking a nap and was woken up by a phone call about an emergency with my mom, and I had to go to the hospital 2 hours away, and I went out of my room to yell for my husband.”

“But it was an emergency, and I was also wearing boy shorts, so it’s not like anything was showing. But it was still awkward as hell.” ~ KittyChimera

“Adding to the top comment.”

“While I agree with YTA although softly, am I the only one that is getting icky vibes from the boyfriend’s response?”

“I understand that he’s not okay with it, but jumping straight to ‘trying to seduce his brother’ basically implies that he thinks she’s walking around the house like that just to seduce him.”

“Edit: Because it seems the last sentence can be misunderstood as ‘him’ referring to the brother.”

“I meant that the boyfriend’s mindset seems to be ‘my girlfriend is walking around my apartment in underwear to be sexy for me,’ instead of… ‘because she’s grown up this way in her home and doesn’t seem to think that this can be inappropriate in other circumstances.'”

“Which is why he jumped to those accusations when his brother was present.”

“Edit 2: I retract the ‘icky vibes’ comment.”

“While not a great response of the boyfriend, it’s more understandable when factoring in the age assuming the boyfriend is around the same age as OP.” ~ Bademeister_

“In my house growing up, and even now, it was totally normal for us to be in underwear/occasionally naked around each other.”

“It’s just a difference in culture.”

“It was never a ‘weird’ thing for my mom and me, for example, and it was certainly never seductive.”

“It was just for comfort.”

“If a stranger/someone else came over, though?”

“I would’ve sprinted to the bedroom to find any pair of pants as quickly as possible.”

“I think OP’s boyfriend is really overreacting, but I do agree on a very gentle ESH.” ~ UnstableGoats

“Personally, I switch roles and imagine my bf walking around in his briefs in front of my sister.”

“I’d call him a pig and shove him down the river.”

“Decency and self-respect, not to mention respect for your significant other, does not equal an ick.”

“I would actually judge you for thinking it’s a problem they reacted that way.”

“Like maybe you’re into the family scene when it comes to that stuff?”

“Otherwise why blur the line?”

“What other reason do people have for walking around in intimate clothing in a situation like this with people they don’t know very well? Psychological issues.”

“This isn’t a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.” ~ 12thhr

“YTA. You heard his brother was there and you still got cheeky (no pun intended).”

“And no, it’s not normal to prance around in your underwear in front of guests.” ~ KyotoDreamsTea

“It depends on the culture.”

“It was quite common in an ex of mine’s family in Milan, but still, I’d say ESH for this situation.”

“I understand both sides of the coin on this one, having come from the American South where such openness in front of guests, etc.”

“Wasn’t seen as a positive.”

“Takes a lot to wash away those preconceived, backward notions I learned growing up down here, even though I’m liberal.”

“But, yeah, there could’ve and should’ve been a discussion about it, especially as the BF had been dating her for at least 3 months, and this has never come up as far as how her family is?” ~ insertwittynamethere

“So if your Dad’s male friend stopped by and you just came down from the shower in a shirt and underwear, your dad was cool with that.”

“I personally find that maybe a little weird.”

“I understand growing up around family doing that, and how that may be okay, but whenever anyone came around who wasn’t immediate family to visit, pants on, it was more a respect thing too.” ~ Individual_Use_4314

“I find it weird even around her dad and brothers.”

“Although I guess that’s a double standard because my dad and brother would walk around in just boxers.”

“My husband does that when it’s really hot too, but we also have a tenant, and he doesn’t do it in front of her.”

“He walks around shirtless most of the time, though, and my friend once felt uncomfortable, which I thought was ridiculous.” ~ pumpkinspice1218

“I’m going to say YTA.”

“While you might be comfortable with this at home, you have to have a bit of common sense to understand that you are not at your own home and you were aware his brother was there (per your reply to someone else).” ~ Mobile_Prune_3207

“Yup, at least ask beforehand.”

“I walked around like that at some of my ex’s houses as well, after I noticed it was just normal there and after checking if people were okay with it.”

“I am still gonna vote YTA, because you should’ve checked first OP, and if there are guests around, it is just normal to put on pants.” ~ EggplantHuman6493

Well, OP, Reddit has a few problems with your problem.

Everyone has different rules on how to behave in their own homes.

It could be time for a more serious chat with your BF.

Clear boundaries and communication can save relationships.

Hopefully, when he calms down, y’all can talk.