Saying someone has a green thumb means they do well with plants or gardening.
My maternal Grandfather was a farmer. After selling the farm and retiring, he always kept a big garden out behind his garage.
Growing up, we had a garden off and on. We didn’t if we knew we’d be traveling a lot, but most years we had at least flowers growing.
Gardens can be a lot of work or just a little depending on where you live and what you plant. We rarely needed to water or weed our garden because of the vegetables we grew and the climate of northern Maine.
But all gardens require some maintenance.
Saying someone has a brown thumb means the opposite of a green thumb. They have an uncanny ability to kill plants and wither gardens regardless of where or what they plant.
A husband frustrated by his wife’s continuous floracide turned to the “Am I The A**hole” (AITA) subReddit for feedback.
Savetheplants999 asked:
“AITA for not watering my wife’s plants?”
The original poster (OP) explained:
“Me (42, male) and my wife (41, female) have been married 3 years. My wife has many good qualities, but she is quite disorganised and more than a little lazy.”
“She ‘loves’ gardening, but I think it’s more that she likes the idea of gardening because she is terrible at it; she is the Saddam Hussein of plants. She not only has a poor idea of how to garden (what plants need what kind of care etc…), but mostly because she is so lazy, her plants die from neglect.”
“The amount of care needed to keep her plants alive is probably no more than 5-10 mins a day, but she can’t even manage that.”
“Her position is that it makes her happy and it doesn’t really affect me so what do I care. My position is that it’s slightly psychopathic to claim to love plants, but not put in even a very modest amount of effort to keep said plants alive.”
“It doesn’t make sense to me.”
“Our compromise on this is that we just agree to disagree. I turn a blind eye to her wanton plant torture/murder so long as I don’t have to participate, and she goes on happily throttling mother nature to death in the backyard.”
“Our problem is that my wife is going on vacation for 3 weeks and now wants me to water her plants. I can do this very easily (so could anyone), but I have a moral objection.”
“I don’t want to be involved her cottage industry of death. To me, I’ll be participating in keeping these tortured souls alive, maybe even giving them hope of a better life, only to have it dashed when she returns in 3 weeks to resume her reign of terror.”
“My wife is claiming I’m being dramatic (I am), but I don’t think I’m wrong, so we’ve decided to ask Reddit and will abide by the crowd’s decision.”
“AITA for not wanting to water her plants?”
The OP summed up their situation.
“I refuse to water my wife’s plants while she’s going on vacation.”
“It might make me an a-hole because it’s very easy for me to do and would save the life of innocent plants which would otherwise die.”
Redditors weighed in by declaring:
- NTA – Not The A**hole
- YTA – You’re The A**hole
- NAH – No A**holes Here
- ESH – Everyone Sucks Here
Redditors decided the OP was definitely the a**hole (YTA).
“Do her a favour and install some irrigation while she’s away. You could literally make her so happy and have a productive garden.”
“I mean that’s what I would do if I loved my wife. I wouldn’t make her feel worse about the things she loves. YTA.”
“My husband just installed irrigation for me (I am ADHD), and it has been a game changer. My garden has never ever been more productive.”
“I just harvested 17 cucumbers from only five plants. 20 heirloom tomatoes, and 8 corns. And I get more and more each day!”
“I am even setting up a roadside stall because I can’t keep up with all the produce. Irrigation is def a game changer!!” ~ BugGlad5248
“This is hilarious. But dude come on, water the plants. YTA. A small gesture in the grand scheme of things if you love your wife and want to make her happy. I’m with the comment of seeing if you can automate the watering in some way.” ~ No_Entertainer6644
“YTA. Those plants better f*cking toughen up! Your wife is right not to coddle them. They’ll be looking for free water all their lives. Next thing you know, they’ll require fertilizer. Damn slackers.” ~ IED117
“YTA…It’s watering plants. Maybe show her how plants can thrive on well-tended care. I mean for a husband to water plants and when the wife gets back, she can see what they should look like.”
“But I do not think it is that big of an ask from your spouse. How hard is it to water the plants once a week? They may disagree on the plants themselves, but overall, spouses do things for each other.” ~ Worth-Season3645
“Hey man. My wife started raspberry bushes in the backyard. I told her to do whatever you want, but I don’t want to be involved with maintenance.”
“I already take care of our idiot cats, and we have a kid, and the nature of my job means I have the flexibility to do most of the housework. So I didn’t want anything added to my plate.”
“You know what I do in the summer when she goes on work trips? Water the dang plants. Because she asked me to.”
“I don’t touch them when she’s here, but if she shoots me a text, ‘hey, do you mind spraying the bushes?’ I do it.”
“I’m gonna call you YTA. It is stupid that your wife won’t water them when she’s here, but wants you to water them now. But like, they’re plants my guy. Just water them for your wife.” ~ stmarystmike
“Also, he must be exaggerating because if she never watered the plants, there wouldn’t be any that needed watering while she was away. She’s bad at gardening, sure, but there are plants that will need watering while she’s away.”
“She could ask a friend to do it, but that would seem pretty ridiculous when she has a spouse who lives in the house with the plants. YTA.” ~ Estrellathestarfish
“Why are you married to someone you appear to dislike? Married people who want to stay married do small nice things for each other. YTA.” ~ Anxious-Marketing525
“I totally get the underlying frustration of living with a flawed spouse who won’t help themselves, but he seems extra pissy about it. ESH.” ~ Totally-avg
“YTA. Water the damn plants. You’re not wrong, and I think people are taking you a bit too seriously.”
“But I do agree that you should do more to help her with this; there are self-watering systems and gadgets you can buy to help her.”
“No, it shouldn’t fall all on you, but what if she just needs a better reminder or an easier way to tell what they need? You’re her partner, if you care then act like it.” ~ Buffalo-Empty
“YTA. You’re mad she doesn’t look after them, and then you’re mad that she’s trying to look after them by making sure they won’t dry out over three weeks?” ~ Mammoth-Corner
“It’s not that deep dude, just water the plants. People are allowed to have hobbies even if they’re bad at them. YTA.” ~ Friday_Cat
“YTA. Despite claims of moral objection, you are OK when you murder/torture them by neglect (not watering them for weeks), but not when your wife does it.”
“Her intentions are at least positive. Yours are highly suspect. Especially as you’re perfectly willing to turn a blind eye on their suffering.”
“You have no moral high ground to stand on. Just water the damn plants & let her be happy.”
“If there is a plant uprising at a later date, I promise you can say ‘I told you so’.” ~ AwesomeKat1214
The OP provided an initial update.
“OK, wow, this ended up getting way more polarizing than I thought. The consensus seems to be that I would be the a**hole (or that I already am, and never loved my wife and deserve to die alone), so I will definitely look after the plants.”
“I am hoping that, like any good children’s movie, I can grow from being a grumpy curmudgeon to having a heartwarming relationship with a row of cherry tomatoes. My wife, who has read through your replies notes that she is mortified at being outed as a Registered Plant Abuser, and will certainly try to do better.”
“I myself have learned not to criticize her online because, just as in real life, people like her a hell of a lot more than me, which she has been cackling about for the last hour. Thanks everyone!”
OP later added:
“Guys I threw in the towel like 2 hours after I made this post. It’s now 24 hours later.”
“My wife has taken to randomly quoting posts from this thread that make me out to be the ACTUAL Saddam Hussein. Then she cackles. She’s a cackler.”
“There’s like 600 comments calling me a**hole, and somehow it’s not over. I’ve done the math, and I won’t win another argument until 2057.”
“Please, mercy.”
“me: my wife and I have a small disagreement on a minor domestic issue”
“Reddit: divorce her immediately”
“me: I guess I could water the plants?”
“Reddit: Divorce. Is. The. Only. Correct. Answer.”
“I WILL WATER THE PLANTS.”
Well, it seems the OP had a change of heart about tending his wife’s plants.
Fortunately, he won’t be taking any of the more extreme advice from Reddit.